Eldest brother cuts off his ‘struggling’ siblings after he finds out they've been freeloading for years despite a secret stash of money: ‘[I was] paying for their education, food, and other necessities while working to keep myself afloat’

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Apr 6, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Many of us have been pushed to our financial limits, wondering how we'll make up the difference at the end of the month. For some, being financially unstable makes you contemplate nefarious means of acquiring cash for your debts, but for others, it means working extra hard on long, unforgiving shifts. The family in this next story had at least one hardworking family member, and unfortunately for this older brother, it meant he was the target of his whole family's con game. 

Trust me, I understand the desperation of needing money to carry on with your life, but conning your own brother to get it? That's cold.

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  • Not every family dynamic is the same, but whenever there's a sole provider for 20+ extended family members, you've got a financial imbalance going on. The most cash I ever got from a family member after my childhood was a crisp $100 bill from my grandpa after he won big bucks at Bingo night, so it's hard for me to imagine the audacity of u/Ok-Place-3852's family cashing in for years on all of their expenses: School, groceries, and other necessities. Granted, Big Brother thought they were all struggling financially, so he lent them a hand, but once he found out none of them were actually struggling, he was completely betrayed. 

    Scroll onward for the whole story (and the fallout) of this egregious family betrayal that left one man questioning everything.

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITA for calling out my father and cutting off my brothers after discovering they hid a financial windfall from me?
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  • I have been the primary provider for my siblings since 2019. My father was emotionally ab ive growing up, and after my mother passed, I took on the responsibility of financially supporting my younger siblings-paying for their
    via Ok-Place-3852
  • education, food, and other necessities, even while working hard to keep myself afloat. As my father was retired and his pension wasn't sufficient. Meanwhile, my father and his wife (they married in
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  • 2021) have never contributed much but have constantly badgered my siblings for money. Recently, I found out that one of my brothers, Sam, received a significant financial windfall.
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  • Instead of telling me, he hid it from me, gave a large chunk to his church, sent money to our father (who lied about needing it for an "eviction" but actually used it for his wife's father's burial), sent a
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  • SENES 777777 DOL 100 FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE LB19560222 J 28 UNITED S OFAME Jety 4. 1955
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  • portion to my father's wife, and even gave a portion to our other brother, Troy, who has a history of stealing from our late mother. The only reason I found out was because my sister Emma traveled
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  • back home and Troy told her. She told me, and when I confronted Sam, I learned that he had intentionally kept it from me because he was "finalizing results." Yet he had shared the entire money!
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  • It doesn't help that Sam and Emma are twins. Emma would be going to law school this year and would need financial help. But he didn't remember to gift her anything. This was my major
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  • angst as I wasn't looking to share in the money. I am financially comfortable. To make matters worse, my father later called Emma a
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  • "destroyer "for telling me the truth. Emma, feeling overwhelmed by the backlash, begging me to let it go and forgive them. I feel betrayed. For years, I
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  • struggled to ensure my siblings had what they needed, and the moment someone else had money, they didn't even think I was important enough to be informed. So I made a decision: I cut them all off my father and
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  • his wife, Sam, and Troy. The only person I want to have in my life is Emma, as she was the only one honest with me. So, AITA for refusing to forgive them and cutting them off?
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  • YeeHawMiMaw If Sam can afford to give away all of his windfall, he doesn't need your support any more. Cut Sam off If Sam can afford to give away all of his windfall, he can support your dad/step mom from now on. Cut them off.
    via YeeHawMiMaw
  • If Sam can afford to give away all of his windfall, he can support Troy. Cut Troy off. Since Sam is now supporting all of them, you can afford to
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  • help your sister with law school expenses. Just make sure you pay directly to the school so she isn't funneling money to the leeches.
    via YeeHawMiMaw
  • ZoraBerries After everything you've sacrificed, they chose deception and selfishness over loyalty. Cutting them off is your way of reclaiming respect and protecting yourself from further betrayal.
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  • lady_sparx NTA. You've supported your family financially and emotionally for years, and discovering that they hid a financial windfall from you is a huge betrayal. It's not about the money, but the lack of
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  • respect and honesty. You're right to cut them off for your own well- being, especially since Emma is the only one who was honest with you. Protecting yourself is completely understandable.
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  • GhostOfMost NTA it sounds like they are well - aware of who they are. This windfall happened and they were immediately all on the same page, which was, "keep this between
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  • us." Your dad even accused your sister of snitching on them. Wow. It sounds like you've found out that your family is a bunch of grifters. Better late than never. I'm sorry. That s ks.
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  • monkerry Set a trust if you want to help Emma so she can't be bu ied to " help" them. School, necessary expenses, and make it transparent so you can audit it.
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  • robinluvssweetums NTA. Good for you. I think you should invest in some self-care for yourself, as well as therapy.
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  • Long-Trade-9164 NTA- Other than Emma, the rest of your family doesn't respect you. They never did. You're better off cutting them off and living your own life. They don't deserve you.
    via Long-Trade-9164

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