‘[She] acted like she did a favor': Homeowner demands money back after her ‘friend’ throws away almost all of her kitchen utensils after housesitting

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  • AITA for demanding money back after a friend threw away most of my kitchen utensils?
  • So context: My husband has a group of friends who are together since school. I moved to his country for work/study and come from a different culture.
  • We welcomed our lovely baby girl, and are lucky to be in a country where parents can take a good amount of off time. We decided to spend 2 months on my country, so my mum could
  • bond with the baby, since she couldn't be here when my first was born Coincidentally, a couple we know was returning from a trip around
  • the world, and needed to rent an apartment. It was a perfect match, they cover our rent and we can be relaxed since they can look after our apartment and car.
  • Well, once we returned I noticed our kitchen was almost EMPTY. I mean baking utensils, forks, knives, pans, cooking ingredients, casseroles, even utensils my mom
  • brought from my home country for special meals were GONE. I was furious. I still cannot believe how someone can do such a thing. She replaced one of two frying pans and that was it. We still have a few
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  • pans, but speciality itens to cook and bake different things are gone My husband allegedly talked to the friend, let's call her Sarah. Sarah acted like she did a favour.
  • Once she realised we were not happy, she argued she only those she could not make clean "ENOUGH" were thrown away. I say allegedly because my husband tends to minimise/diminish the issue to not cause waves.
  • I demanded she replaces every single thing. My husband is begging me to let it go, not to lose a long friendship. I feel like I am in crazy town, I mean WHO DOES IT? Specially without talking to the
  • owners of the house? If you don't know what something is for WHY THROW IT AWAY??? I cannot wrap my head around it! Am I the AH and she was just doing a favour, or am I being gasslit to high heaven?
  • Nrysis NTA If you are borrowing something, it is your job to return it in equal or better condition - or come to a suitable agreement with the owner to replace it entirely.
  • If they were not happy with the condition of any of your housewares, then they should have left them untouched and use an alternative for their stay.
  • If they ruined anything (plates get dropped, accidents happen...) then they should be apologising profusely and offering to replace those items.
  • What they should absolutely, definitely not being doing, is chucking out a load of your kitchenware without your knowledge and pretending they are doing you a favour - if
  • nothing else you know need to replace a load of items you had no problems with before, but that doesn't consider how many of those items may have been sentimental pieces inherited or gifted to you over the years.
  • Yes, you may ruin a friendship by demanding compensation - but realistically they have already burned that relationship. Would you want to socialise with anyone who unapologetically acts like they did?
  • Famous_Specialist_44 NTA for whatever you do: demand they replace all of it, end the friendship, take them to court, go further if you can.
  • A well used casserole dish is member of the family; a well seasoned wok like a godchild; home country utensils are like a favourite auntie. Throwing them out is outrageous.
  • I feel your pain. Sorry to say it may take a long time to get over this. Every special event will be a trigger. I wish you well.

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