“You want the whole family to fail”: Father favors stepchildren over bio son and demands he’s taken out of private school to keep things “equal,” ex-wife refuses

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 19, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Welcome gents and gals. It's never easy to try and raise kids when you only see them part of the time. Divorce is so ubiquitous, and oftentimes I forget how much of a nightmare it is to coordinate. Your entire life becomes one big schedule book or dates, names, and picking up your kids from your ex's home. It's no wonder why divorce is one of the leading causes for unhappiness in life. It completely strips a person of being spontaneous or even stable, and that goes for the child as well. The poor kid has to shlep his or her things to this house and that. Every other week or weekend is a different set of sheets, blankets, food, home, and even parents. Maybe dad remarried, and now you have to live with a stepmother and stepsiblings. Maybe mom remarried, and the stepdad is awful. It's a slew of discomfort and bad things. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a woman who's divorced and comes from a wealthy background. She has a great job herself, and is afforded a decent income so she can spend on her son how she wants. When her ex-husband comes to her to ask her to not spend money on him so that he's more equal to his stepsiblings, she laughs in his face. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for laughing at ex and his new wife when they suggested to change my son's school

    Cheezburger Image 10495175424
    via triloks from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I have a 10 year old son tyler with my ex. I have primary custody and he gets him on Weeknd. We had co parented well so far. I am from Asia. Where private schools are only good mode of education.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 03
    I decided not to marry till my son is gone to college. I am a banker, so I earn well for both of us and the CS I get, I put it in his savings. I also pay for his private school which cost a lot. But I can afford it.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 04
    My ex got married to Lyla last year and she brought two kids. One is ten and in same grade as my son. Second is eight. My son already feels his father has taken away there 1:1 by time with the other children. As most activities are group activites. And he gives zero time to son alone. Step mom also try to parent him and he hates it.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 05
    Kids are cordial but don't see each others as siblings. So this Weeknd ex and his wife invited me to dinner. I went and after dinner, they told kids to go to room to have discussion with me.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 06
    They said they can't afford same private school for the other kids. And for equality of kids, they need to pull my son out of school. They told how beneficial it will be the elder step kid and my son to be in same school and class.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy

  • The poor kid has to shlep his or her things to this house and that. Every other week or weekend is a different set of sheets, blankets, food, home, and even parents. Maybe dad remarried, and now you have to live with a stepmother and stepsiblings. Maybe mom remarried, and the stepdad is awful. 

  • 07
    I was ped and laughed at them. I told their financial issues aren't my problem and I am not changing my son's school. They doubled down. But I stood firm and took my son back.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 08
    Since then they are blaming that I want their family to fail and how my son doesn't talk to other kids much. I told them developing the relationship between kids is ex's job, not mine. I don't badmouth them or the other kids. But I don't see it as my responsibility to grow their realtion on his dad's side.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 09
    Second, if father is going to put his new kids over his own, it is what leading to Tyler being distant with other kids. They are calling me a hole and his new wife said to me, for Tyler she isn't going to deny her kids a father. I told her that she is no less than evil step monster.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 10
    Edit. I forgot to add. Because kids won't have equal things. My son already have more branded things which I can afford and my parents buy him a lot of things. As I am only child and he is their only grandchild. He is pampered a lot by my side and they have issue with that too. I won't deny my kids good things because they can't afford for her children.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 11
    Regarding 1:1. Ex said our son needs to adjust for his new siblings and it is family time ;) Edit. Someone is copying my coomments. saw two accounts doing. It's not me
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10495174912
    via lillisphotography from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    ki... 10h ago • Edited 7h ago NTA. Do you have a formal custody arrangement? If so, does it lay out the schooling for your son? If it does, then pull it out and tell your ex that you're enforcing the custody arrangement and
    via u/kirinspeaks
  • 14
    he's welcome to try and tell a judge that depriving your son for the sake of ex's step- kids is a good idea. If it doesn't, you need to contact a lawyer and get these details locked into a legal agreement (possibly will
    via u/kirinspeaks
  • 15
    need to take ex to court for this, but it'd be worth it). If there's no formal custody arrangement, you need to contact a lawyer and get one in place ASAP. Edit: typo
    via u/kirinspeaks
  • 16
    Ok_Childhood_9774 •10h ago NTAH. If your son is doing well in his current school, there is zero reason to remove him from it, and doing so against his wishes would probably ruin any chance of a relationship between him and his steps.
    via u/Ok_Childhood_9774
  • 17
    Dad and his new wife will simply have to find other ways to get their kids to bond.
    via u/Ok_Childhood_9774
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10495175168
    via Ron Lach from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    • CptKUSSCryAllTh... 10h ago NTA. How is she reasoning that you not putting your son in their school is wanting their family to fail? Where is the correlation?
    via u/CptKUSSCryAllTheTime
  • 20
    DesperateToNotDr... 9h ago They don't even have him during the week so why do they care what school he goes to?
    via u/DesperateToNotDream
  • 21
    Entire-Order3464 • 10h ago NTA. You have a custody agreement. If he doesn't like it too bad.
    via u/Entire-Order3464
  • 22
    Final_Figure 7150 ⚫9h ago NTA If they can't afford to send the other kids into private school, that's too bad.
    via u/Final_Figure 7150
  • 23
    Your son should not be denied the best possible education, because they have this blended family fantasy in their heads that'll never be a reality.
    via u/Final_Figure 7150
  • 24
    If your ex wants to completely alienate his son, he's doing an excellent job of it...
    via u/Final_Figure 7150

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