65-year-old mom sells adult son's "forever home" after he moves in and treats her like a maid, banishes her to guest suite when she's not doing chores: "I feel unappreciated"

Advertisement
  • 01

    WIBTA if sold my son's 'forever home'?

    Cheezburger Image 10496103680
  • 02
    I (65F) live in SoCal in a 4,350 sq' 5-bedroom house with a granny flat (kitchenette, above garage). My son (30sM) and his wife (30sF) settled in LA after college (2013). My husband di d in 2019
  • 03
    (Alzheimer's), my mom in 2020 (dementia). I took a reverse mortgage ($385,000, growing $25,000/ year) to care for my husband. With taxes, insurance, and utilities, the house costs $40,000/year, and I'm out of savings.
  • 04
    The house is in a trust; I'm the executor, and my son inherits it when I di. He begged me not to sell, wanting it as their 'forever home. After he and his DIL lost jobs in 2024, we agreed they'd move in. A
  • 05
    900 000
  • 06
    month before, DIL asked if her younger sister and husband (not strangers; I hosted their 2024 wedding reception) could stay for a year. I spent $15,000 and three months fixing the house- painting, new closets-and moved to the granny
  • 07
    =
  • 08
    flat. In January 2025, they moved in, paying $3,000/ month (their LA rent for 1,400 sq'), far below the $10-12,000 market rate. Their rent is critical, as the reverse mortgage requires me to live here.
  • 09
    Initially, I loved cooking, shopping, and doing their laundry, feeling purpose and family again. They work long hours (6am-7pm), so I helped often. In March, I had six friends (65-85, not rowdy) over to
  • 10
    watch a recorded Dodgers game, with my son's approval. They left by 7:45p, but he berated me, saying I can't have friends in the main house ('disrupts their life') and must use my granny flat
  • 11
    (small couch, 2 chairs). I stopped helping and rarely see them, walking on eggshells to avoid them. I told. my son I feel unappreciated, restricted, and isolated, but he insists I respect their boundaries. I regret not setting clearer rules upfront. WIBTA if I sold the house to escape financial strain and regain my peace, despite my son's 'forever home' wish?
  • 12
    Shichimi88 Nta. I would just sell. Evict the entitled people there first.
  • 13
    Squirrel GirlVA I was initially willing to give the family the benefit of the doubt, but then I saw that he was working as a free housekeeper on top of giving them a sweetheart deal on rent. It's unclear if they were even paying OP back for the groceries she bought.
  • 14
    OP asking to have some friends over wasn't much to ask and they're treating it like she brought them over without warning and until the wee hours of the morning. Sure I suppose she could
  • 15
    have asked everyone rather than just her son, but since the others work long hours I'm going to guess that at least some of them weren't even home during that time. They're definitely entitled and selfish.
  • 16
    Depending on where the home is located, OP could probably make enough money to pay off the mortgage and then some. Or shot, she could evict them all and rent the home to complete strangers for the full amount. She would probably be unable to access the home except for the
  • 17
    granny flat, but she'd make more than enough to compensate for the loss of her savings. If the average rent for a home in her neighborhood is a minimum of $10K, then that implies that it's a pretty decent home and in a prime location.
  • 18
    RosyCupcakeCharm You're spot on here. OP is not wrong for wanting peace and financial stability, especially when they're the one who's sacrificed so much. If the people living in the home treat OP like an inconvenience, they've lost their claim to the "forever" part. No one is obligated to keep giving when they're being disrespected in their own space.
  • 19
    Top-Ad-5527 He needs to buy you out if he wants it, you're still alive and need to be able to live your life.
  • 20
    afirelullaby What a selfish son they have. Imagine feeling so entitled to something you didn't earn. And polices their fun! What a peach he is.
  • 21
    Cheezburger Image 10496103168
  • 22
    weewee52 Yeah even ignoring how they treat OP (which sounds terrible), the bottom line is this is a financial strain that is not feasible to maintain. Son can buy the house or it gets sold.
  • 23
    bananapanqueques It's your house, and he berated you for having friends over. Sell it. NTA.
  • 24
    princessmathea His behavior is unacceptable, you deserve peace and financial stability. Selling the house is a valid solution to both, and he needs to respect your decision. NTA.
  • 25
    tropicsandcaffeine Sell the place. Get a condo and enjoy your life without ungrateful people around you.
  • 26
    Pretend-Panda Yes, please sell it. Please. Take care of yourself. Your son is not realistic about his needs/wants or his ability to meet them.
  • 27
    kingnotkane120 Yes, and what's going to happen to OP when she can't navigate the stairs to get to the granny flat above the garage? Where is she going to go if just being in the main house "disrupts their life". Sell it and move into something where you can age in place.
  • 28
    Best_Individual1212 Honestly, the entitlement is mind boggling. The house is your. Not theirs. For which they do not pay enough rent either. And yet you are pushed into the tiny room over the garage? No way. You need to give them a reality check.
  • 29
    Either pay the full market rent if they want to set rules, or move out. And I does he mean rules for the main house? It's your house in its entirety.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article