34-year-old new mom disregards her responsibility to her baby and husband to take trips with friends, husband calls her out on her bad habits: “It’s Easter Sunday and I’m alone with our daughter because she’s on a road trip”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 28, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Marriage is a big decision. It's so big, yet so many couples end up getting divorced at some point. Years building up of resentments, empty promises, and frustration that make you want to pull your hair out are all reasons that couples go from being attached at the hip, to not wanting to even look at each other at some point. It's never easy to go through the eternal path of marriage once you say, "I do," and even the best of couples have their ups and downs, their fights, and their reasons for not wanting to stay together. What's an even bigger decision than marriage is having kids. Not everyone chooses to have kids, but many do, and that's not always a good thing. If things don't go well with your spouse, you can divorce them, or at least have an adult conversation about it. But with a child, you're just dragging them through turmoil for no reason. 

In the story below, the narrator is a man who's fed up with his wife's behavior. Before having their daughter, she had a very active lifestyle and social life. She agreed to put all of that aside when she gave birth, but lo and behold, she's still prioritizing friends over family. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not letting my wife keep her old habits after we had a baby

    "Is this acceptable behavior for a family?"
    via annakraynova / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So here goes, my (39m) wife (34f) is a very active person with time consuming hobbies and likes to spend time on those hobbies with her friends. This means sometimes she is gone for most of a weekend or a whole day every now and then.
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 03
    She also likes to help her friends (one in particular) with all of their problems any time of day, or sometimes night. She also works pretty late so I usually pick our daughter (1f) up. It is worth. mentioning that I have two kids from a previous marriage, (12f and 10m). Before we had our daughter
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 04
    and when we were discussing the possibility, I mentioned that it. wouldn't work with her busy schedule and she would have to make huge changes if we were going to have a child together. She assured me she was on board with that and it wouldn't be a problem.
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 05
    That year she went on 3 trips. abroad without me, which was fine, but again I mentioned this would not be possible once we had a child. Fast forward to us having a 6 - month old now she wants to go on a hobby-related trip with her friends for 5 days, wouldn't it be
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 06
    terrible if she was left out? So long story short, I was guilted into letting her go. She of course doesn't miss any of those weekends either, and unfortunately they usually happen when I have my other children (I have them every other week). I feel it is really
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 07
    difficult to take good care of them when I am alone with them and their baby sister as she requires almost all of my time and attention. Another thing - she has never taken a summer vacation with me because she is always too busy.
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 08
    This is ok but not ideal as I am really bad at finding fun things to do with the kids on vacation. However, now she actually wants to go abroad for another hobby related thing during my summer vacation with the kids! Not only do I find this unfair to me but the kids as well, but she is pressuring me
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 09
    with guilt about how important this is to her and that her mother can take care of our daughter - I dont want to leave her with her grandmother for a week! I am writing this on easter sunday, alone with our daughter because she is on a road trip with her friend all day. She notified me of this - didnt
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 10
    ask me or discuss it, just let me know. This samr friend wanted her to take a drive with her at 3 am a few weeks ago, they apparently had to take someone to the airport. I said forget it, you have a baby (her friend does not) and I'm sick of this. She relented but calls me
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 11
    controlling for interfering (she was complaining about being sleepy all day next day, I wonder how tired she would have been!)
    via u/dazedandoutofcontrol
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10498141440
    via Monkey Business Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    OkapiEli 13h ago OP, you are getting lots of advice about the marriage. Most of it is spot-on.
    via u/OkapiEli
  • 14
    I'm popping in about the kids. By your own admission: You are not good at coming up with things for the baby and the older two at the same time. Don't. For the next couple years it is ALL ABOUT THE OLDER TWO. The baby is PORTABLE. You get two
    via u/OkapiEli
  • 15
    separate backpack/diaper bags so there is ALWAYS one ready to go, and you grab and go to wherever the older ones are going. Then keep Little One in sight, in a stroller, in - your arms as you cheer for and buy tix for Big Two.
    via u/OkapiEli
  • 16
    As SOON as you get home flip the backpacks so the fresh one is at the door (clean clothes, extra diapers & wipes, snacks) and before you go to bed start to refresh the first pack.
    via u/OkapiEli
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10498136832
    via JillWellington from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    This will only last a couple years before Big Two push off and do not want your company. CHERISH this time. Keep your eyes open for things like Water Park for Big Two with a toddler Splash Pad. By the time they push away, Little One is ready for play dates and hands-on science museum.
    via u/OkapiEli
  • 19
    You are not the only one dealing with this. And honestly were you really that involved when the older ones were small? I'm thinking if you had been, you wouldn't be so lost now. So do it right.
    via u/OkapiEli
  • 20
    Own Armadillo_416 • 15h ago Maybe book a ticket away for yourself for a week when you don't have your older children. It's your turn and it's time for the tables to turn.
    via u/Own Armadillo_416
  • 21
    Extreme-Read-2276 • 15h ago What is hobby related trips? What are these hobbies?
    via u/Extreme-Read-2276
  • 22
    sog96 15h ago Tell her that you both need marriage counseling.
    via u/sog96
  • 23
    firstsipofthemorning • 7h ago To clarify the "hobby" is a whole a career with horses and dogs..
    via u/firstsipofthemorning

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