10-year marriage crumbles when wife finds out that husband's young "cousin" they've been raising is actually his biological daughter: "He let me open my heart to her under false pretenses"

Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for leaving my husband after I found out the girl he claimed was his cousin is actually his daughter?

    Cheezburger Image 10496479488
  • 02
    I have been married to my husband for 10 years. Early in our marriage, he told me a touching story about his late uncle-a man who helped him during a difficult time in his life back home. He said the
  • 03
    uncle and his wife had both passed away and left behind a daughter with no one to care for her. He said he wanted to honor his uncle by taking care of her, but she was still in our home country.
  • 04
    We talked about it, and I agreed we should help. We both contributed money to bring her to the U.S., helped her settle in, and made her part of our household. She's been with us for several years now. She always called him "uncle" and referred to me as "aunty," and I treated her like she was family. I even started seeing her like a daughter.
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10496479744
  • 06
    Now, fast forward to a couple of weeks ago—| got sick and she went to pick up some medication for me. While she was out, her phone kept ringing over and over again. I eventually picked it up because I thought it might be important.
  • 07
    1
  • 08
    It was a woman on the other end. She asked for the girl, and when I told her she wasn't around, she said something that knocked the breath out of me. She asked about her daughter and mentioned my husband by name, saying he was the father. Then she threatened that if he didn't allow her to see her daughter, she would involve the police.
  • 09
    I was stunned. When the girl came back, I asked her directly who her father was. She hesitated, then told me the truth: my husband is her biological father.
  • 10
    I felt sick. All this time, he let me believe she was his cousin's child. He let me open my heart and home to her under false pretenses. He had a whole child before we got married and never told me. He didn't even come clean when she moved in—I had to find out by accident. Through her mother no less.
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10496480256
  • 12
    When I confronted him, he tried to defend it by saying he thought I'd leave him if I knew the truth. He said he just wanted to be close to his daughter
  • 13
    without complicating things. But to me, the lie is the complication. It's the betrayal that hurts the most. He robbed me of my right to choose whether I wanted to be part of this situation. And I can't stay with someone I can't trust anymore.
  • 14
    So I left. I packed up and left the house. Now I'm getting calls from his family saying I overreacted, that I'm breaking the home, that "he did it for love." Some have even said I was cruel to abandon the girl who sees me as her mother figure.
  • 15
    tropicsandcaffeine Some things are deal breakers. In this case not necessarily the daughter but the lie. He willingly lied to you about this. What else is he lying about?
  • 16
    Alluring Aliceee Love is not supposed to be built on lies.
  • 17
    VibrantSophia OP I don't feel like I'm wrong for walking away from such a deep, long-running lie.
  • 18
    Blonde2468 He lied to her FOR YEARS!!!
  • 19
    Pschilaci And brought his daughter into the drama and had her lie as well. Great role model
  • 20
    robinblackcat Also what are the circumstances in which his daughter came to live with you? The mother called the daughter's phone and is threatening legal action if she's not allowed to see her daughter. Is what he did legal? He's shown you he can easily lie to you for years, what else is he capable of.
  • 21
    Rosalie-83 This. They brought her over from another country, which country does the mother live in? Was it only supposed to be a visitation, and he refused to send her back, so kidnapping? It happens with cross-country custody.
  • 22
    fbi_does_not_warn NTA. The time and energy he put into lying and gaslighting you for 10 years...
  • 23
    Fennicular Oh wow he's made his own daughter lie for years, pretending not to be his daughter. That's awful. That poor kid.
  • 24
    OP, NTA but please consider the impact this is having on your stepdaughter. Even if you don't want to continue to have that relationship with her, at least reach out and explain to her that it isn't her fault, and you don't hate her, this is 100% about her Dad being such a loser. And check if she is safe, cos she might need to escape from him as well.
  • 25
    VibrantSophia OP I explained everything to her, she also apologized to me for playing along with her father, sge said she was so scared to speak out.
  • 26
    spellchecker123 It's also not just the initial lie, which was fabricated to such an extent to make her feel pity and accept the situation. It's lying to OP daily, for years and years. The duration of their entire relationship he's
  • 27
    been lying to her. He didn't even finally tell her the truth, he was forced to because she already knew. What an absolute POS. Good on OP for getting out of that. If anyone pressures you OP, tell them you hope their partner has a secret child and lies to them daily.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article