College girl immediately regrets offering to pay for a struggling stranger's groceries after they dash back into the store to gather more supplies: 'I am just a poor freshman who was just trying to do something nice'

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  • "My brain just couldn't compute"
  • I offered to pay for a stranger's items when their card declined and it all went downhill from there.
  • I was waiting in line at the grocery store waiting to check out and there was a woman in front of me with two young kids. When it was her turn to pay, her
  • card declined. The cashier tried it twice but it still declined and when she asked the woman if she had cash instead, the woman said that she didn't. She was
  • about to leave her things but as it was only one loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter, I offered to pay for them. She thanked me and then asked
  • if she could grab something else really quick, and I found myself nodding because I was caught off guard. She came back with a carton of eggs, women's sanitary
  • towels, milk and some toilet paper. By this point my brain just couldn't compute and I just smiled and proceeded to pay for everything and mine. She thanked me again and I told her
  • no worries then we went out separate ways. I am still trying to process what happened. It's not like she got luxuries, those were literally basic
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  • necessities and if I was well off, I definitely wouldn't have bat an eye but I am just a poor college freshman who was just trying to do something nice with the little that I have.
  • A... You did a nice thing and also learned about boundaries, probably for less than a therapist would charge you. Win win!
  • Next time just say "I'm close to having my card declined too, but I'll get these things for you if you like." (e: not suggesting lying but OP indicated they were struggling too so good opportunity to connect there if that's where you're at)
  • You're a good person, but also remember that if you help a drowning person they can drown you too. When conducting a rescue, ensure to take steps to protect yourself.
  • Put on your oxygen mask first before you help someone else, then help everyone you can.
  • Also she is clearly one notch away from homeless if she can't afford pads with bread and peanut butter. You probably saved her life for a week.
  • OceanUnclaimed - I did this offered to pay for a stranger's groceries when their card declined. Her items were already bagged and I hadn't seen what was in them. The employee
  • looked at me in a way I didn't understand, and the stranger was looking at me like she really needed what she had shopped for. Kind of like a desperate look? | paid for everything and it was less
  • than $100. When she picked up the bags, I heard the unmistakable sound of glass bottles tapping against each other. She walked away with 4 or 5 bottles of wine. The employee explained this
  • woman was there at least 3x a week trying to get more alcol. I felt awful. However! I went to this store fairly consistently and months later the
  • employee pulled me to the side. She told me the woman hadn't purchased any alcol since. Apparently she felt so ashamed for letting me pay for her habit
  • that it gave her the last little push she needed to try to get sober. I don't know how long it had been after that but I did see her one more time later on, and she looked fairly happy and just overall "better."
  • Sometimes acts of kindness get taken advantage of, and sometimes that blooms into something good.
  • thesyntaxofthings ⚫ Ok well next time you'll be prepared to say "No sorry, that's all I can afford right now" You did a nice thing and you learnt something. Don't turn it into a net negative. You probably really helped that woman out
  • Working Roof9832 I wouldn't dwell on it...you helped someone who needed help. That's all that really matters.

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