Cat keeps trying to break into woman's house, neighbors accuse her of stealing the cat, blocking her when she offers to find a solution: 'One night it was torrential rain and she was throwing herself at the door trying to get in, I felt horrible.'

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  • 01

    "My next-door neighbour’s cat wants to live with me and I’m not sure what to do."

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  • 02
    I live alone and work from home so I'm at home a lot, my neighbours are out at work/college during the day, they consist of 4 adults, several cats and 3 dogs. My house is a bit bigger than theirs. I think this is important information as I suspect this is the reason Cat prefers it here.
  • 03
    In the last few years Cat has been a regular visitor to my garden. There are several cats next door and they all see my garden as theirs, they're all comfortable with me and I often go outside and pet them and give them treats-next-door know about this and I look after the cats for them when they're away.
  • 04
    Their cats would occasionally come into my house in the summer when doors and windows are open and in the winter I've taken their cats in if one of them got accidentally shut out. I had my own cat until a year ago who didn't mind the male cats but hated the females, so the females rarely came in the house and the males were never here for very long.
  • 05
    My cat d d last year and as soon as Cat realised she could come in without fear of being chased she's been doing everything she can to set up home here. I told my neighbour as soon as she started coming in regularly and they said they were fine with it, Cat would go home for dinner and at night and come back in the day.
  • 06
    I spoke to my neighbour numerous times about her being here and they kept saying it was fine. Gradually Cat was spending more and more time here and getting very upset at being 'sent home', but when I got 2 kittens in August I thought that would put Cat off being here.
  • 07
    It didn't. I had to tape the cat-flap up to stop her getting in and the kittens getting out, but she'd come in through any open door or window and go and hide so I didn't always know she was here. Eventually my kittens ripped the tape off the cat-flap and Cat broke it attacking it to get in, so I replaced it with an expensive flap with selective entry/exit so that Cat could get out if she snuck in but the kittens couldn't.
  • 08
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  • 09
    Cat was here more and more and next- door started to get upset about it. I tried to talk to them but any suggestion of having a conversation was ignored, all communication has been by text.
  • 10
    They asked me not to let Cat in and I explained that after so long she was used to being here and would break the cat- flap trying to get in if I locked it, and I couldn't risk the cat-flap being broken and my kittens getting out and other cats getting in (they've got an unneutered male next-door who sprays...)
  • 11
    I always tried to put Cat out at meal times and at night, but she'd come back in again as soon as she could and get very stressed and try and hide. I've had to resort to scaring her out of her hiding spots with the vacuum cleaner to put her out at night as she picks places I can't reach, and I have to block the cat-flap up and shut my cats in a different room at night to stop Cat breaking in.
  • 12
    She sits outside crying when she can't get in, she sits on the bins under my bedroom window at night crying. One night it was torrential rain and she was throwing herself at the door trying to get in, I felt horrible.
  • 13
    My neighbour has seen for herself what Cat is like when she knows I'm trying to catch her to put her out, she came to the door when Cat ran in when I was receiving a delivery and watched me chase her round the house before she got on top of a cupboard I couldn't reach.
  • 14
    I've sent them photos of the places I've found her hiding and I always respond when they ask me to send Cat home. I've been totally upfront with them and never hidden the fact Cat is here. I've sent them texts explaining how stressed Cat is and how difficult it is to keep her out.
  • 15
    I've tried to talk to them face-to-face but they just keep ignoring me or replying with 'Please stop letting Cat in'. It's not that easy, and I don't know what to do. They keep Cat indoors for days at a time and the minute she's let out she immediately comes to me.
  • 16
    I was away for 2 weeks recently and Cat was constantly trying to get into my house (I'd taped the cat-flap up and put my cats in a Cattery, I've got cameras covering the back door). She was so happy when I came home, she must be so confused when she can't get in and it breaks my heart having to scare her to put her out.
  • 17
    There's clearly a reason she doesn't want to be at home and I wish I could have a sensible conversation with next-door about it. Cat came in wearing a tracker this morning. The collar was too tight, it's not quick release and it looks uncomfortable. I don't know how they think a tracker will change anything, they know Cat is here!
  • 18
    I hate the fact Cat is stressed, I hate that I can't do anything about it and I don't know whether to try and talk to my neighbour again or just leave it. My neighbour hasn't replied to any messages I've sent recently about other neighbourly things either which is upsetting as before this I thought we got on ok.
  • 19
    I understand why they're upset, I would be too if my cat left home. I'd be trying to work out why the cat wanted to be elseware though and if I couldn't make the changes needed to keep the cat happy I hope I'd be able to do what was best for the cat.
  • 20
    So cat people, what do I do? This has been going on for a year so I'm sure there's plenty I've left out. Have any of you been in my position or in my neighbour's position? What's the best way of approaching this? I just want what's best for Cat, I have no interest in stealing anyone else's cat but if she's happy here she's welcome to stay.
  • 21
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  • 22
    TLDR: My neighbour contacted me asking for an amicable solution and proof of how persistent Cat is. When I told him he blocked me. My post didn't get many replies but thank you to those that offered advice.
  • 23
    I don't know whether one of my neighbours saw my previous post but I got a long text from one of them yesterday asking to come to an amicable solution about Cat. I was so relieved! I thanked him for reaching out and sent a long text back explaining how persistent Cat is and how difficult it is keeping her out and how I've tried so many times to talk to them but been ignored.
  • 24
    His response was not what I expected. He said there was nothing to be said, it's entirely on me to stop her. He won't entertain the idea that Cat might not like the latest dog whilst also telling me she doesn't get on with one of their other cats very well now which is apparently my fault.
  • 25
    Since he asked how persistent she is to get in I went back through some data and worked out she'd tried to get in to my house no less than 61 times over an 11 day period when I was away recently. I told him if this is how persistent she is when I'm not here and the cat-flap is blocked up with cardboard so she can't see through, imagine how bad it is when I'm home and she can see me. Then add in
  • 26
    the battering the cat-flap takes when she's trying to get in and my cats are attacking it back and maybe he'll begin to understand why this is so difficult. He didn't reply and blocked me, so I guess there won't be an amicable resolution
  • 27
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  • 28
    I won't go into all the details but finally after a bit of back-and-forth the neighbours asked me if I wanted to take ownership of the cat. I don't know whether she thought she was calling my bluff and I'd say no but I said if that's what she wanted and it was in the best interests of the cat then of course I would.
  • 29
    Things remained civil for a bit after that but they kept declining my request to transfer the microchip details. I messaged Mrs Next door a couple of times and despite her saying she didn't want to fall out over this she turned nasty. She did eventually agree to transfer the chip before blocking me, so I now officially have a new cat and next door neighbours who hate me.
  • 30
    I don't feel good about falling out with my neighbours and I'm sure they're telling anyone who'll listen how I stole their cat. The cat is happy and settled now though and that's all that matters. TLDR: I've got a new cat

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