Parents accrue $60000 debt in 22-year-old daughter's name, complain when she reports them for ruining her credit score: 'They never gave me access to the mailbox'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 3, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Everybody knows that becoming a parent means that you have to take on a huge responsibility. It means that you have to spend the next couple of decades of your life ensuring that another human being is safe, cared for, and happy, and perhaps most importantly of all, you have to try your hardest to set them up for the best future that they can possibly have. 

Of course, everybody makes mistakes, and it is understandable to mess up when engaging in such a huge undertaking. However, there is a stark difference between having occasional moments of weakness and stupidity and deliberately sabotaging your child's life. 

Unbelievable as it may seem, there are plenty of parents out there who are willing to do the latter. This is usually because they think that they have something worthwhile to gain from it. These types also don't tend to like it too much if their kids decide to call them out.

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    THE UNITE
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One college student found herself suffering from this predicament after she attempted to move out of her parents' house and rent an apartment, but found an unpleasant surprise. It turned out that she had an extremely low credit score because her parents had taken out multiple loans and credit cards in her name, racking up $60,000 of debt.

    When confronted, her mom and dad accused her of overreacting and claimed that they did it because they had fallen on tough times, and they had intended to pay it back. Their daughter didn't believe them, and she ended up moving in with her aunt and reporting them to the police.

    Charged with identity theft, her parents were outraged and accused her of betraying them. She wanted to know if she had done something wrong.

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    AITAH for reporting my parents for taking out debt in my name?

    I'm 22 and just finished my third year of university. Until recently, I was living with my parents. We've always had a decent relationship, though they've been strict at times. Recently, I started planning to move out. I found a rental I really liked, but during the application process, I discovered that my credit score was extremely low. I was confused since I've never opened any credit accounts or loans in my name.
    via majamaja32
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    After some digging, I realized my parents had taken out multiple credit cards and loans under my name. It totaled around $60,000. I hadn't known about any of this and they never gave me access to the mailbox, and I wasn't receiving any bills. When I confronted them, they said they did it during a tough financial period and planned to pay it off, but had fallen behind. They insisted I was overreacting and that this was "temporary." I asked them to take full responsibility and clear the debt. I al
    via majamaja32
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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    They refused both. They told me I was being disrespectful and that I had no right to "make demands" while living under their roof. I didn't see a path forward, so I asked my aunt if I could stay with her temporarily. She agreed and was very supportive. After hearing everything, she encouraged me to report the situation to the police.
    via majamaja32
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    I did. My parents were charged with identity theft. They're extremely angry and have told the rest of the family that I betrayed them. I didn't want things to end up this way. But I genuinely felt like I had no choice. I couldn't see a future for myself if I was stuck with this debt and still under their control. I feel guilty because I know this will have long-lasting consequences for them, but at the same time, I feel like I need to protect my future. AITAH for involving the police and pressin
    via majamaja32
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    via Etienne Giardet

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    People were totally supportive of the young woman's reaction.

    _clancularia NTA. If you don't want to be charged with identify theft don't commit identity theft.
    via _clancularia
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    Murky Tale_1603 Don't forget, besides the illegal activity, they tried to sabotage your future. Your family has no reason to be upset with you for looking out for yourself when you were abused financially, especially to the tune of $60k. NTA. And please make sure to lock your credit as well as NCTUE (NCTUE handles utilities and isn't always covered just by locking your credit reports)
    via Murky_Tale_1603
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    Sweet-Interview5620 NTA but please contact all the banks and loans agencies and report it was identity fraud and that the police have charged those responsible your parents. Give them the police crime number and they will then remove all traces of the loans and credit cards from your name and credit score. They they to will peruse legal and maybe financial actions against your parents. You need to contact them as the police will be concentrating on the criminal side alone and you have to alert t
    via Sweet-Interview5620
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    GracefulCutiepie Exactly. Family or not, what they did was theft and betrayalm full stop. OP is just trying to reclaim their future, and holding them accountable is not only justified, it's necessary. No one deserves to carry a $60k weight for someone else's secret choices.
    via GracefulCutiepie
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    ispywithmybougieeye In WHAT WORLD is 60k that they haven't paid a dime of, TEMPORARY??? Lock them up!!!! NTA
    via ispywithmybougieeye
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    drowning_in_cats They have ruined your credit. Unfortunately filing the police report is just the beginning. Make sure you keep a copy of the report and any other files. You also need to file a report with the federal trade commission, notify the 3 credit agencies and request a credit freeze, and you will need to contact the companies that your parents used. The good thing is that you know who did this. But you still have to do all the things that others who have been the victim of identity thef
    via drowning_in_cats
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    Impossible_Stress534 NTA I would've done the same thing solely because of their response. Taking out the loans was wrong but they could've started a payment plan and helped you get your place if they were truly sorry about it.
    via Impossible_Stress534
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    meltymuffin NTA. Your parents committed identity theft and wrecked your credit - that's a crime, not a "family issure". You didn't betray them, betrayed you. Pressing changes isn't revenge, it's protectong your future. Actions have consequences, even for parents
    via meltymuffin_
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    beek_r Look at it this way - Were your parents the AH for stealing their daughters identity so they could take out loans and ruined her credit without talking to her about it? They're the AH, not you. You held them accountable, which is not the same thing as betraying them.
    via beek_r
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    Wild_Black_Hat You betrayed them?! More like they both completely betrayed you! I'm sorry you don't have loving parents, OP, but even if you had carried that debt on your shoulders, could you really have maintained a relationship with them? I know it would be impossible for me. I would be way too angry, sad and would never trust them or expect anything from them ever again.
    via Wild_Black_Hat
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    EvenSpoonier NTA. Family doesn't steal from family. They betrayed you long ago.
    via EvenSpoonier
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    NTA teresajs The only way you can get those fraudulent accounts removed from your credit is to send copies of the police report to the lenders.
    via teresajs
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    Clean-Fisherman-460 NTA. I've heard of people doing this to their children and it always ticks me off. I had a neighbor who decades ago opened utility accounts in their children's names and didn't bother to pay. So check to make sure there aren't any of their utilities in your name. Electricity, gas, water and sewage. If there are you can remove your name and add that to the identity theft charge. Parents are supposed to take care of their children not steal their credit and identity. Funny how
    via Clean-Fisherman-460
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    hisimpendingbaldness Either you go to the cops, or you personally are liable for the money. Which means bankruptcy and 7 years bad credit. This is not on you this is on your parents. They are bad parents for doing this to you, Remind them of that. There is a credit scores sub around here worth looking at. They will tell you the steps you need to take to get your credit back.
    via hisimpendingbaldness
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    Medusa_7898 NTA. I had to report a relative for identity theft several years ago as well. I've never regretted it. What a terrible thing for parents to do to their own child. Anyone who thinks you should have let that go should offer to pay off the $60k debt.
    via Medusa_7898
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    TheCy_Guy I am so sorry they let you down in this way. Their job was to help you build your future not ruin it. You were right to take strong action or it may not have been the end of it and a conviction may go some way to helping you restore your credit score. Sadly, you don't owe them anything and I am glad you found the bravery to do this, I hope it all works out for you and you have a wonderful future
    via TheCy_Guy
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    Live_Western_1389 Reporting them was the only chance you have to dispute the charges and get them taken off your credit report. Your parents aren't stupid. They have known all along that them not paying those debts would hurt your credit.
    via Live_Western_1389
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    Due-Average-8136 You didn't have a choice. It would have ruined your future. They shouldn't have stolen from you.
    via Due-Average-8136
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    OstrichIndependent10 N[A, if you didn't report it then you would have been the one suffering long lasting consequences that weren't your fault. They made terrible choices and deserve whatever consequences come their way.
    via OstritchIndependent10
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    Simple-Caterpillar14 Criminals need to think about their reputation when they commit their criminal Acts. If they didn't want to be treated like criminals they shouldn't have done something illegal. NTA.
    via Simple-Caterpillar14

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