Father takes $9,000 of his 19-year-old daughter's money over 4 years, infuriates his GF: 'I did not do it out of greed'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
May 4, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Teaching your kids how to manage their money can be tricky, especially when they're in their teenage years. They get that first job and suddenly want to spend all their money on clothes, food, gas for their car, and going out with their friends. 

Of course, out in the real world, you can't just spend all your cash on clothes and food and expect to be successful. You've got to do the boring things too, like saving money, investing that cash in a 401k that you won't see until you're in your 50s, and stashing away some coins for a rainy day. Although these aren't the most fun ways to spend your money, it's important to learn this early on so that you don't get stuck in credit card debt or have other bad spending habits as you grow older. It seems like this dad is trying his best to teach his daughter about money, and he even has a lovely plan for her future. But for some reason, his GF is infuriated over the whole situation, and it's making some commenters raise their eyebrows. 

Next up, read about this "loyal client" who spent a whopping $460 on waxing services, only for the waxer to close up shop and refuse any refunds: "Just sue her… slam dunk case." 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10501074432
    via Leandro Crespi For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I'm writing this for my bf's best friend, who is like a brother to him. He's been quite upset over the issue and I proposed to see opinions from strangers as it may show different povs on the situation. For the sake of the post, I'll write 'I' speaking as him, and he has helped me write it and read the post and agreed it sounded good enough. Also sorry if it isn't the right subreddit, I usually only lurk.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 03
    I have a daughter that will soon be turning 19. She is my only child. Her mother d d when she was young, and so I had to raise her alone. It was not easy to be honest. We had her young, and did not get to go to college or further our studies, and when her mother d d, it was a really really hard time for both of us. I wasn't in the best mental state, and keeping a steady job was hard for a time. I made sure she would not need for anything, and things got
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 04
    better where I could actually work on a career, but some months were harder than others. She always has been hardworking, and from a young age, she babysat neighbour's kids and such. For the record, I never accepted her money then, it was hers to use as she pleased. At 15, she got her first part-time job, and after some time, she started using some of it to buy things for the house such as food, dish soap, detergent, toilet
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 05
    paper, etc. I never asked that of her, she would simply see some things were running low and go to the store and buy them. We never went hungry also, she usually bought snacks I wouldn't buy. I told her she did not have to do that, and she should use her money on herself, but she kept at it. I felt like a bad father, thinking she was not getting everything she needs, or how my failings made her grow up too fast, but I couldn't force her not to use her money how she wanted.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 06
    Eventually, there were more better months than bad months, and so after a few months, I offered for her to give me the money, and I would use it towards house purchases. She didn't mind really, and there was no set amount, the only thing was that I would have to be sure to buy the snacks and food she put on the grocery list. Usually it was around 150-200$ per month.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 07
    The reason I asked that of her was because I felt bad about her using her own money like that, so I placed it all in a separate bank account. If I did have some need for it, I would write it down and be sure to put whatever amount I used into the account the next month. Now there is about 9,000$ there, and I planned to give it to her when she turned 18. But she decided to stay at home, which I am happy about, so I have decided to give it to her if she decides to leave for college, or
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 08
    whenever she decides to move out. I would be happy if she used it for school, or a down-payment on a house, in which cases I would add to her fund in whatever capacity I can. Now the issue that arose was this month, my daughter offhandedly asked me if I received the transfer she had done. To which I replied yes, but my girlfriend was present, and she was quite shocked at me taking 'rent' from my daughter.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 09
    My daughter explained it worked much better for her as renting a whole apartment on her own, or even with roommates, would be much more expensive, and 'anyway, it's normal', is what she said. My girlfriend ended up asking her a few questions, but my daughter simply said she used her money as she wanted since she got her first job. My girlfriend kept prying, and in the end, my daughter left, saying it was none of her business anyway.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 10
    I never discussed finances with my girlfriend much, and to be honest, she comes from a better financial situation than me, and from what I know, has never experienced any type of financial need. She is the type of person to swipe the card, and look at the amount much later when she opens her bank account. As she kept pushing for more information on the 'rent', she got upset, saying I was greedy, and taking money from my own child.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 11
    I ended up explaining it to her, and it made her even more furious, saying I took money from my teenage daughter, and took away things she could have done with it for years. I felt angry at her comments, and hurt, but after I asked her to leave, I felt guilty. I feel like a bad father once again. But I struggled, and when I finally didn't, I did what I thought was the best thing to do. But now I feel like I might have been wrong.
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 12
    I have yet to talk about it with my girlfriend, but I want to sit down with her and properly discuss it as it seems an issue that might break our relationship. I'm still unsure if what I did was wrong or not, but I know I did not do it out of greed as she said. So that is that. Me and my bf have both shared our thoughts on it, but he has been doubting himself alot. I'll show him the opinions, hopefully whatever the
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 13
    verdict, it helps with the talk with his gf. Am I the a hle for 'taking' the money?
    via u/Throwawaysisss
  • 14
    Co... I think there's a misunderstanding here with my fellow commenters. The father saw the daughter was spending her money on household necessities and she wouldn't stop. So he said he would do it for her. She gave him the money thinking he was using that money to buy the household necessities she was going to anyway. But instead the
    via u/
  • 15
    father spent HIS money to buy the household necessities as he wanted to from the beginning and put the money the daughter thinks she's spending on household necessities and is gone into an account for her for later. See she thinks she's spending her money on toilet paper but she's not. She's accumulating a savings account. So it's not really rent. It's her savings
    via u/
  • 16
    account she doesn't know about yet. So on the surface it looks but it's not. If he were just taking her money and spending it all it would be one thing. But he's saving it for her which is sweet. Again she was voluntarily spending her money on household supplies and her father didn't want her to. So this is a way for her to get her money back.
    via u/
  • 17
    Careless-Ability-748 NTA people from better off families don't always understand the financial needs of less wealthy families. In high school or college, if I worked full time and lived at home, I was required to contribute money to my mom. She was always struggling to pay bills and I had 2 younger siblings at home, so yes I was expected to contribute.
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  • 18
    In this case, both the parent and daughter are fine with this arrangement, and the father has actually put it aside for her anyway.
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  • 19
    Icy_Ad2851 sounds to me like you raised a very responsible young lady, who likely will end up on their own and never have to rely on you again once she is on her own. Your girlfriend on the other hand is another story. She's the
    via u/
  • 20
    a hole to me and it's none of her business at all what you do with your money, your daughter was correct it's none of her business and if she's got a problem with that I would find a new girlfriend.
    via u/
  • 21
    Nitehawke88 NTA. This is great parenting and good for the daughter for being responsible, understanding that being a single parent is a struggle and willingly helping her Dad. It's great that he's been putting it away for her but had he needed it and used it, his daughter would still have that sense of accomplishment.
    via u/
  • 22
    No matter what this girl's financial situation going forward, she will always know the value of a dollar and how hard it can be to earn it. There are literally no downsides to this scenario.
    via u/

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