Business owner agrees to decorate 16-year-old girl's birthday party for free, puts in less effort after overhearing bratty teen disparage her efforts: “I just don't have it in me”

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 8, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

While every birthday is special, there are a few ages that one may reach that are a cause for slightly more celebration. These milestone birthdays may vary a bit depending on where you live. For example, in the US, the 21st birthday is a massive deal – for obvious reasons. However, in countries where the legal drinking age is lower, 21 comes and goes with comparatively less excitement. It's also quite common for girls in the US to have a bigger birthday party on their 16th birthday, an old coming-of-age ceremony that marks the transition from childhood to adulthood.

In our story today, a teen is getting her sweet 16 party decorated for free by her mom's coworker. However, her brattiness towards our protagonist, who is doing her a huge favor, truly exposes how she's much closer to being a child than an adult. As a consequence, our crafty protagonist decides to put in considerably less effort into the decorations than she would have otherwise. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for offering to make sweet 16 favors for my coworkers daughter and scaling down what I was plan on doing?

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  • 02
    I run a small family party business from my home as a second job. My coworker is a single mom with five kids. Over the years I have offered a few times to make party favors and decorations for her kids parties as a gift. Things are a struggle for her and I just wanted to do something nice for her kids.
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  • 03
    I buy all the supplies and my labor is free and is their gift. The scale and cost of everything changes depending on the event. I do this for my nieces and nephews as well. I enjoy doing it and I think it makes people happy.
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    via ruslanshramko from Getty Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    A few weeks ago I offered to make sweet 16 favors and some decorations for a small restaurant party for my coworkers daughter.
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  • 06
    One night | FaceTimed with the mother and the daughter and we were discussing colors. She picked light blue and light pink as her color scheme. That's not colors I normally would associate with a sweet 16
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  • 07
    and I mentioned it to her that I was concerned it would look more like a baby shower. She snapped at me and said I want light blue and light pink. OK got it.
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  • 08
    A few days later, I'm speaking to the mother that I wasn't finding a lot of sweets 16 items in that color scheme. She picks up the phone and calls her daughter on speaker phone and explains to her the issue. The daughter abruptly says "what part of light pink and light blue does she not understand".
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  • If that is the way she is talking to her mom about a favor that is being done for her, it is likely that the mom agrees and talks that way about our protagonist's efforts too. 

  • 09
    I know she is a child and has had a rough road but am AITAH for not going the extra mile making them. I offered to make favors and I will make sure they are beautiful. But any joy I have making them is totally
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  • 10
    gone. Normally, I would do a couple of surprises along with the favors, but I just don't have it in me and I feel terrible for being upset at a child. I feel like such a terrible person. Any advise on what I should do?
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    歡AB YE
    via pixelshot

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Our protagonist is being rather forgiving, choosing to put in less effort with fewer favors instead of fully refusing to go through with it. 

  • 12
    nylonvest NTA. I have no problem with you scaling down your efforts. But I DO have a problem with you keeping silent about how you've been treated.
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  • 13
    Tell her you didn't appreciate her snapping at you and you don't appreciate her daughter talking down to you like that and remind her that you do this as a business and were going to get her these favors as a gift. But even if she was a paying customer you expect to be treated with decency.
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  • 14
    If you are certain you want to go through with the favors you can tell her you're going to do this for them because you said you would, but you think you deserve an apology.
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  • 15
    If not, you can just confront her about the behavior and see how she responds and decide how YOU want to proceed based on that.
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  • 16
    AccioAmelia Yeah. I would have to have a conversation reminding her that you are doing this at a discount for her as a favor and if that is not apprecatied, she can get favors elsewhere. I also would not offer this service for her in the future.
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  • 17
    Discombobulatedslug Exactly. She's acting entitled and expects the freebies at every event now. Say something... Even paying customers wouldn't act this way.
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  • 18
    - Perfectandsassy NTA you generously offered your time, money, and talent as a gift, and while the daughter may be young, being r ide and dismissive kills the spirit of your kindness. You're still honoring your offer, just scaling back the extras, which is entirely fair. You're not a terrible person for feeling disrespected you're human. Set your boundaries with grace and move forward with what feels right for you.
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  • 19
    xylodactyl Nta, if the mom heard and didn't correct the daughter it seems like they both feel entitled to your money, time and labor. I would back out entirely but that's up to you.
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    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    Wild_Cockroach_2544 My response would be, "What part of having gratitude were you not taught!"
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  • 22
    Sea_Firefighter_4598 I don't know if she has had a rough road in the past but with that attitude she will have one going forward. Tell her that it is the companies that make the supplies that don't understand her baby shower
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  • 23
    color scheme. Do what you promised, don't go the extra mile, and be prepared not to be thanked. NTA but no more favors, party or otherwise, for these people.
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  • 24
    Ok Case_2521 The way I would suddenly hurt my wrist and be unable to make these... NTA. I thought the mom was but clearly she raised a j the j too.
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  • 25
    Antsamsmom25 OP Here is some answers to a few similar questions. When the daughter snapped me, the mother halfheartedly apologized to me. Saying you understand teenagers. And I do understand teenagers.
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  • 26
    Normally, when I offer to do favors for someone, we discuss the colors and what I can offer for the party. I will give the person my honest opinion and make sure they're aware that I might not have exactly what they want.
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  • 27
    She wanted things that said sweet 16 in her specific color choice, light blue and light pink. I was unable to find that. I can find pink alone, but not the combo. I wanted to make sure she understood. Not to criticize her, but just to make she was aware it might not be exactly what she was looking for.
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  • 28
    It's not worth my time to make something for someone if it's not exactly what they want. I ask Clients and family members to make sure I understand what they want.
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  • 29
    I have no personal opinion of any kind. I could care less what colors people pick or theme they use. Not my business. But I'm not gonna shield away from being honest. I will explain to them the situation/ issue and let them decide what they want.
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  • 30
    I have offered my services for free for 1 million events. School events, team fundraisers, nursing home gifts and thousands of raffle baskets. All for free, remember, this is my second job money is tight.
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  • 31
    If I offer something, it's with a whole heart. I've known this child since she was an infant, and I am upset. I want to do something beautiful for her but I can't get over the fact that she was just sor de. I feel the mother should have corrected her.
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  • 32
    Agreeable-Region-310 Don't be surprised if the daughter lets you know how disappointed she is in what you make for the favors. I don't think she will be happy regardless of what you do.
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  • 33
    avid-learner-bot NTA for scaling back, especially after being treated that way... I get it, it's hard to feel appreciated when it's not coming from the right place. Maybe you could channel that energy into another project, like a charity event or something that feels more rewarding. You've got a real talent, and someone out there will value it.
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AITAH birthday mother teenagers coworkers friends parenting raising teens workplace entitled daughter raising kids mom entitled people
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