28-year-old boyfriend claims new girlfriend is not “wifey material” when she refuses to hand over cash for a new haircut and shoes: “I'm not here to sponsor someone I just met”

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 14, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

The whole Love Languages thing isn't really based in any sort of science. However, the theory is a great way to get you and your loved ones thinking about how you prefer to be shown appreciation and also how you tend to demonstrate it to the people around you. For example, someone whose Love Language is gifts may not get much out of their partner praising them with words of affirmation at first. If both partners realize each others' Love Languages, one will learn to appreciate their partners' praises, and the other will probably start buying them trinkets from the thrift to pair with their handwritten poems. 

In our story today, a young woman starts casually dating a man whose Love Language seems to be recieving gifts – however, he doesn't seem that interested in giving any. In fact, he really just gives the impression that he wants a sugar momma that will fund his lifestyle. Scroll down to get all the details and internet commentary from sassy netizens.

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  • 01

    AITA for blocking a guy I was dating after he asked me to help pay for his haircut and shoes even though we barely knew each other?

    Cheezburger Image 10504651008
    via RossHelen
  • 02
    So, I (26F) had been going on dates with this guy (28M) for about a month. We'd gone out maybe 3 or 4 times. Things were okay, we were still getting to know each other, nothing serious yet....
    via u/Ok_Beautifull_69
  • 03
    Then one day he texts me asking if I could help him out with some money ...specifically for a haircut and new shoes... because he was "low on cash" and wanted to "look good for me." I was honestly surprised. I told him that I wasn't comfortable doing that, especially so early on...
    via u/Ok_Beautifull_69
  • 04
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    via Dean Drobot
  • 05
    He replied saying I was "stingy" and "not wifey material" because a real woman "invests in her man." After that message, I didn't even respond. I just blocked him. I'm not here to sponsor someone I just met
    via u/Ok_Beautifull_69
  • 06
    Some of my friends said I was being too cold and should've just said no firmly, but others said it was a red flag and I did the right thing. So... AITA??
    via u/Ok_Beautifull_69

  • It's never a great idea to start demanding gifts of your partner, but one month and 4 dates in just proves what a piece of work this dude is.

  • 07
    PRE
    via Nzewi Confidence from Nzewi Confidence's Images
  • 08
    Woman NotAGirl We both know the answer lol
    via u/WomanNotAGirl
  • 09
    Successful_Voice8542 He was testing the waters to see if he could use you and would take his criticism -- because that's the kind of "wifey" he is looking for. A woman so insecure that she'll support him and take his ab e. You dodged a bullet. Good for you for knowing your value.
    via u/Successful_Voice8542
  • 10
    Sigwynne Looks like "grooming" behavior to me. He seems to be looking for a cash cow (in my opinion)
    via u/Sigwynne
  • 11
    Texasalrighty Girl! Tell him you don't moo!
    via u/Texasalrighty
  • 12
    AnnaMouse102 NTA. He's an adult he can pay for himself. He's looking for a sugar mama.
    via u/AnnaMouse102
  • 13
    LadyBug_0570 First it's a haircut and shoes... and then next month he'll say his lease is up and he needs somewhere to live and can he move in with her.
    via u/LadyBug_0570
  • 14
    LadyBug_0570 He replied saying I was "stingy" and "not wifey material" because a real woman "invests in her man." Why do these men assume we're dong to marry them? Why would we want to marry a man who can't afford his own haircut and shoes a month into dating?
    via u/LadyBug_0570

  • I'm not sure where this man expects to find someone that does fit his criteria for “wifey material,” but it's safe to say that it's not anywhere in this dimension of reality.

  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10504651776
    via Marcelo Chagas from Pexels
  • 16
    FinancialCamel7281 Nta tell your friends to date the mouch, that is a giant red flag.
    via u/FinancialCamel7281
  • 17
    Puzzled-Award-2236 Haha that's a good one. 'invests in her man'? How's he your man after one month and using the phrase 'wifey material' to boot? LOL LOL You did exactly the right thing. Too many women ignore these red flags and end up in a relationship where they are totally dominated and don't seem to recognize they are with a narcissist. RUN is the first response to guys like this.
    via u/Puzzled-Award-2236
  • 18
    Similar_Corner8081 NTA You are right. You aren't sponsoring him. Dude needs to learn some manners and tact.
    via u/Similar_Corner8081
  • 19
    JoeLefty500 NTA Lucky you that you found out quickly what a loser he is.
    via u/JoeLefty500
  • 20
    Prior_Benefit8453 Yeah, we ALL know the answer. So WHY are you letting your friends vote? Let them have relationships with guys like him. You certainly don't want one.
    via u/Prior_Benefit8453
  • 21
    gringaellie LOL not wifey material? As if you'd want to be wifey material to someone who wants you to bankroll them!
    via u/gringaellie
  • 22
    AsparagusSame Ew people like this are so gross. Sadly he will find someone with low self esteem and they will give him money.
    via u/AsparagusSame
  • 23
    Effective_Spirit_126 A month in and he's starting to be a mooch. NTA. You did right by blocking his a First he tried to get . money and then comes in with this comments. Well he sure ain't husband material.
    via u/Effective_Spirit_126
  • 24
    chocolatechipwizard Tell your friends to give him their money, you just keep on blocking him on your phone and everywhere else.
    via u/chocolatechipwizard

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boyfriend break up AITAH toxic shopping relationships girlfriend couples love sugar daddy entitled breakup red flag Reddit money dating entitled people
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