Neighbor upset her kids weren't invited to 25-year-old mother's 7-year-old daughter's birthday party, begins posting passive-aggressive messages on community social media page: 'She's posting this heinous stuff about how teen moms are unfit parents'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
May 14, 2025 12:00 AM EDT

Being friendly with neighbors is just what Gen-Z would call "good vibes." It just makes sense to try to get along with the people around you and make some attempt to develop some feeling of community. But, still, there are limitations to these relationships; the mere proximity of your homes doesn't make for a strong relationship. You can't just presume a neighborly relationship to be one of a different sort. And wishing doesn't make it so either.

Sure, maybe if the neighbor's kids were some of the daughter's closest friends, then it would make sense to invite them to the party. But when you're that young, "friend" is more, "Closest kid in proximity to me, anyway." But if this is how the neighbor acts on a regular basis, then it would make sense to keep her at an arm's length and as far away as possible. 

Seems like she's making something that isn't about her about her. Turning to social media to make vague posts, knowing that this mother would see them, in the most petty, unkind, and borderline narcissistic way. Is it really even about the kids? Or is that just a convenient excuse to create some drama and bring more attention to herself?

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  • 01

    "AITA for not inviting my neighbor's kids to my daughter's birthday party?"

    I (25F) held a birthday party for my 7 year old daughter in our backyard this past Friday afternoon/evening. It wasn't a very big thing at all, just her and a handful of her school friends + some parents. I did rent a bouncy castle but other than that they mostly just played on our swingset, played lawn games, and had dinner/cake. No organized activities or anything, very casual yet fun. I think all the guests had a good time and my daughter definitely did.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    Then at around 10PM (hours since everyone went home), my next door neighbor (~30F) texted me that the kids had been way too loud all evening. I texted back apologizing and saying that I hoped it hadn't bothered her too much. She responded by saying she was more bothered by the fact that her kids weren't invited and
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  • 04
    had to sit by the window watching everyone else have fun on the bouncy castle. I'm taken back because I hardly know this woman. Her two kids are probably about 3 and 4 and I think my daughter's only met them once. I try to be polite and apologize for overlooking them.
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  • 05
    Then yesterday I was scrolling though Facebook and I see a post from this woman being super vague talking about how we all need to look out for each other's children and about how it takes a village with no context. I go to her page and she's been posting stuff like that all morning. Now maybe I should have ignored it but unfortunately I made the decision not to. I texted her again asking if the posts she'd been making were about me and if there was anything I could do to make this up to her. Sh
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  • 06
    And now today (mother's day of all days) she's posting this heinous stuff about how teen moms are unfit parents and shouldn't get to keep their kids, among other things. I was a teen mom and she knows this and I don't think it's presumptuous for me to think she's talking about me.
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  • 07
    Obviously it's not OK for her to be posting what she's posting, but still, did I mess up by not bothering to invite her kids? I've been thinking about how it would feel for me as a mother for my daughter to not be invited to the next door neighbor's kid's party. It would probably be upsetting to
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  • 08
    see her left out. Still, my neighbors kids are so much younger than my daughter and I don't think they would have enjoyed playing with bigger kids. My daughter also shouldn't have to share her party with strangers, in my opinion (but maybe I'm wrong on that?). So AITA for not inviting the neighbor's kids? I'm starting to feel bad about it.
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  • 09
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a h le: I didn't invite the neighbor kids. They might have felt left out.
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    Pa
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  • 11
    MeasurementDappe... 3h ago • NTA. Please stop trying to make it better with her. Keep your relationship distant with her. If you invited her she'll expect an invite to everything else: your birthday party, cookouts, and personal time relaxing in the backyard with your kids. Next will come babysitting for her. Let her talk junk. She'll become a
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  • 12
    problem if you give in or try to smooth this over. Let it go, don't start something that's going to become a problem for you. I bet other people in the neighborhood have had problems with her as well.
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  • 13
    Rainbowbright31 • 3h ago Why the h I did you ask how you could fix it?? You should have shut it down from the first text: Too loud.... "It's one afternoon and we are usually quiet. It's part and parcel of living in a neighbourhood unfortunately"
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  • 14
    Kids should have been invited || not sure why you would think that, our kids aren't friends. I won't apologise for not inviting people outside my daughters friend group." NTA but people who post sh on social media are best blocked and ignored, they are generally attention seeking twats in all areas of their lives
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  • 15
    SaiVRa 3h ago . NTA. You don't know them and you aren't on terms where the kids even know each other. Ignore the FB posts. Block her and move on with your life. Unless they are your next door neighbours. and they start doing something to encroach on your privacy, don't engage them anymore. Good luck
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  • 16
    . External_Expert_2069 3h ago Don't give her anymore attention. Completely blow her off and stop caring. This woman is nothing to you. Let her throw her fit on her own. NTA
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  • 17
    Significant-Bet-7732 3h ago • Does she ever reach out and help with your child? No. So it takes a village is a load of bs. She wante a village and the world to revolve around her children. Won't do that for others though. Block. Delete. Move on. Life sks. When is it their party you tell your daughter it's nice for them and i hope they enjoy the day. Would you like to do x?
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  • 19
    munchieattacks 3h ago I think it's best you found out your neighbour is a bad person this way instead of building a relationship and finding out later.
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  • 20
    MadBTea 3h ago NTA―she could've walked out and asked you if her kids could come play, but honestly it's so hard to have kids that little in a bouncy castle fr. Couldn't hurt to ask, idk why she has to be passive aggressive about it
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  • 21
    Hhhggg696969 3h ago NTA her kids are a lot younger and you are not particularly close with them. I'm not sure why she even thought she was entitled to come to the party. I could see if it was huge gathering with kids of all ages, but sounds like it was on the smaller side with older kids. You do not need to make up anything to her, she is just looking for drama.
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  • 22
    Immontes 3h ago NTA. Why did she let her daughters keep staring as she put it?
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  • 23
    FireBallXLV. 3h ago You are NTA.She is hitting you where you are tender - making you feel bad about her children's feelings. SHE is responsible for that OP.Quit giving her so much power over YOUR feelings.
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  • 24
    SnooPets8873 NTA if they were in the same age group and occasionally played together, I would feel differently but these are not peers or playmates of your daughter.
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