“She watches Netflix and calls it coding”: Mother-in-law publicly embarrasses DIL for being remote software developer, she puts her MIL in her place

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 20, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Hey there ladies and gentlemen of the internet. I really miss summer days hanging out in someone's backyard, a 12 pound chunk of delicious meat sitting atop slow burning wood, slow cooking the meat to tender perfection. Why do we work so hard, so often? So many hours in an office, so little time to actually take care of the things we need to work on and take care of. Do you know how long it's been since I've needed to buy new running shoes? It's been almost 5 years, and my shins are probably screaming at me everything I step my foot onto the pavement in those falling apart poor excuses for cotton and rubber. But, I have about one day a week that it's even humanly possible for me to go on the 30 minute, traffic-filled bus ride to walk around an architecturally confusing mall to spend way too much money on shoes. The point of all this isn't about the running shoes, it's about the covet to work from home. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a woman whose job is fully remote. Lucky her, right? Her mother-in-law doesn't think so though, she's stuck in old ways. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for embarrassing my MIL in front of guests after she implied I don’t do “real work”?

    12 52 "That 'Netflix' paid off your sons student loans"
    via borchee from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (28F) work from home as a software developer. My MIL (58F) has never understood or respected that. Every time she visits, she makes snide remarks like, "Oh, must be nice to sit in pajamas all day," or "Back in my day, we actually had to commute to work."
    via u/Physical_Plant_3056

  • This mother-in-law is stuck in a “traditional” boomer mindset. I will never understand why that generation so mindlessly worships working harder than you have to. It's funny that generations after them figured out you don't have to work that hard, you only have to work smarter. 

  • 03
    This past weekend we hosted a small BBQ. During dinner, someone asked what I do, and before I could answer, MIL chuckled and said, "Oh, she watches Netflix and calls it coding."
    via u/Physical_Plant_3056
  • 04
    Without skipping a beat, I smiled and said, "Yeah, and that 'Netflix' paid off your son's student loans and bought this house."
    via u/Physical_Plant_3056
  • 05
    Everyone laughed. MIL got really quiet. After they left, my husband said I was being unnecessarily mean and should've just let it slide. AITAH?
    via u/Physical_Plant_3056
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10507471616
    via nd3000 from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    Zestyclose-Custard-2 "If you don't like the way I deal with your mother belittling me, feel free to take over for me. The days of it going unaddressed are over." ΝΤΑ
    via u/Zestyclose-Custard-2
  • 08
    StrangledInMoonlight Your MIL has been "unnecessarily mean" for a long time now, and your husband hasn't seen fit to deal with her and get her to treat you with respect.
    via u/StrangledInMoonlight
  • 09
    If he doesn't like how you dealt with it, next time he can make sure his mom's behavior doesn't become your problem.
    via u/StrangledInMoonlight
  • 10
    sleepyHedgehog99 NTA. I WFH in the same field and I've accepted that older people don't always understand what I do, but every time someone implies I sit at home doing nothing for eight hours, it still stings.
    via u/sleepyHedgehog99
  • 11
    Good for you for standing up for yourself, and shame on your husband for not defending you - you've been letting those comments slide for long enough.
    via u/sleepyHedgehog99
  • 12
    NETFLIX
    via prathan chorruangsak / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    Traditional-Ad2319 God I can't stand these men that do not support their wives when their mothers are witchy at them. I would be really pi if my husband didn't have my back especially regarding his mother.
    via u/Traditional-Ad2319
  • 14
    Different-Leg7609 OP: 1 MIL: 0 Husband: -1,000 It should have never come to this point because your husband should have had
    via u/Different-Leg7609
  • 15
    your back. NTA all the way OP! Might want to see if there are any other red flags in your relationship though
    via u/Different-Leg7609
  • 16
    soyeah_87 You paid off HIS loans and bought the house HE lives in? HI no i wouldnt let it slide. But I'd let him slide back to mummy with his tail between his legs if he didnt put mummy dearest in her place. Oooh the rage
    via u/soyeah_87
  • 17
    CakePhool NTA. What does your husband do? Ask him how would feel if he his job was referred to something silly all the time. Like if he a Mechanic, then he plays with cars, if he is
    via u/CakePhool
  • 18
    architect then he doodles all day och a climate scientist well then he lays in fields and looks at clouds.
    via u/CakePhool
  • 19
    You need to sit down and have long hard talk about why isnt in your corner when it comes to your job.
    via u/CakePhool
  • 20
    I also think you MIL just found out that you do earn more then pocket change, she might not know that you are high earner and thought it was her son.
    via u/CakePhool
  • 21
    Wed_Penny Dreadful13 "...my husband said I was being unnecessarily mean and should've just let it slide." And you should have .. ! this in the bud so I wouldn't have to.
    via u/Wed_Penny Dreadful13
  • 22
    Chefnick500 NTA and that was a truly great riposte to MILs comment... well done !!
    via u/Chefnick500
  • 23
    NUredditNU -, has your husband ever had a spine? NTA
    via u/NUredditNU

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