23-year-old refuses to cancel her college graduation trip because her 32-year-old sister's babysitter canceled before her and her husband's anniversary trip: 'She got super upset and said I was being selfish and immature'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
May 19, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

It's so common to see married people prioritized above single people that we don't even give it a second thought. We are especially trained to prioritize married people who have kids over single people who don't. Single people's lives are seen as less serious and important than those of married people. They are expected to be able to drop everything, no matter how important to them, if their family members with kids need anything from them. It's important to be there for your family, and a lot of people get a lot of fulfillment out of being a good friend or caretaker to children who aren't theirs. But if your responsibilities and duties are constantly being deprioritized because of your age or relationship status, you might need to start setting boundaries with the people in your life who are asking constant favors of you because they clearly think your life is unserious.

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  • 01

    AITA for not canceling my graduation trip to babysit my sister’s kids?

    1 (23F) graduated college last week, and me and a few friends planned this small road trip to celebrate. Nothing crazy, just four days driving along the coast, staying in cheap Airbnb's, eating
    via u/Sweet_Piece1502

  • The young woman in this story recently had a once-in-a-lifetime achievement: she graduated from undergrad. Instead of letting her celebrate with her friends before they all go their separate ways, her mother and her sister are pressuring her into babysitting her nieces and nephews because her sister's babysitter canceled.

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10507643136
    via Desiray Green

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    good food, taking pics something we've talked about doing since sophomore year. Everyone chipped in, we saved for it, and it was meant to be one last trip before people start moving away or starting jobs.
    via u/Sweet_Piece1502
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    Cheezburger Image 10507663872
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Anyway, two days before we're supposed to leave, my sister (32F) calls me kind of freaking out. She's got three kids under 7, and her babysitter canceled last minute. She and her husband had planned a weekend anniversary
    via u/Sweet_Piece1502
  • 06
    getaway, and now she wants me to stay back and watch the kids. I told her I couldn't. I'd already paid for my part of the trip, I was really looking forward to it, and it wasn't something I could just drop last second.
    via u/Sweet_Piece1502
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    Cheezburger Image 10507668224
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    She got super upset and said I was being selfish and immature, and that I don't have anything important going on and she never asks me for help (not really true, she does, a lot). Then my
    via u/Sweet_Piece1502
  • 09
    mom chimed in too, saying I should be there for family and that my trip could wait. I told them I wasn't trying to be mean, I just wanted to do this one thing for myself after working my a off for four years.
    via u/Sweet_Piece1502
  • 10
    AdWitty7251 Ur sisters the AH for even asking
    via u/AdWitty7251
  • 11
    Sweet Piece1502 OP Yeah, I was really surprised she even asked. I get that she's stressed, but it felt unfair to put that all on me last minute, especially after I already had everything planned and paid for.
    via u/Sweet_Piece1502
  • 12
    StrictlyMarzipanOwl If your mother is so keen for family to help out then she can look after the kids herself.
    via u/StrictlyMarzipanOwl
  • 13
    Gennevieve1 Also why is your sister's weekend getaway more important than your graduation trip? Her babysitter cancelled, that's too bad. I guess she'll have to be a parent and stay home or find someone else. She's the mom, her kids are her responsibility. That comes with the territory when you have kids. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your plans for them. If your mom has a problem with it she can babysit herself (why isn't she, anyways?).
    via u/Gennevieve1
  • 14
    polkadotpatty65 First thought I had. Why is her get-away trip more important than yours? You only graduate college once. NTA. Seems your sister is the selfish one. And Mom should bot out. Mom should babysit her grandchildren if she is so concerned over your sister missing out.
    via u/polkadotpatty65
  • 15
    mca2021 Keep the boundary and also in the future. If you have plans, don't cancel, unless it's truly an emergency. A wkd getaway is not considered an emergency. NTA, have a fabulous trip.
    via u/mca2021
  • 16
    yourlittlebirdie Seriously. If this was "the babysitter cancelled and husband is having open heart surgery, can you please cancel your trip to babysit?" that would be a different story. But "we want to take a fun trip and ours is more important than yours" absolutely not.
    via u/yourlittlebirdie
  • 17
    rigbysgirl13 I am seriously shocked that anyone would ask another human being to cancel travel plans and eat deposits paid. And then they get angry when told, No? Who are these people?
    via u/rigbysgirl13
  • 18
    MommaSnarky Definitely NTA. Your sister is being selfish. Her anniversary trip with her husband is not important, and they can postpone. Sometimes, that is just life with kids. The kids are the parents' responsibility, not yours.
    via u/MommaSnarky
  • 19
    Sweet Piece1502 OP Thanks, that actually makes me feel a little better. I've been really torn about it, but you're right her anniversary isn't somehow more important than my graduation. I worked hard for this, and it's something I've been looking forward to for ages. Just wish she saw it that way too.
    via u/Sweet_Piece1502
  • 20
    Debsha Actually your graduation is a one time thing, your sister's anniversary on the other hand should be occurring next year, and the year after, and so on.
    via u/Debsha
  • 21
    Corgi Cats_Coffee Also, OP can't reschedule since many people are involved. This is the celebration for all the friends as well. For the sister it is only her and her husband that need to rearrange and only them celebrating.
    via u/Corgi_Cats_Coffee
  • 22
    Disastrous-Bee-1557 Seriously. Unless this a "last ditch trying to save the marriage" anniversary trip, then there's always next year.
    via u/Disastrous-Bee-1557
  • 23
    swordrat720 Even if it was that kind of trip, it's still on the sister to find childcare. OP is the only person on the planet that can babysit?
    via u/swordrat720
  • 24
    hilltopj Why can't your mom babysit, is she not family? It's fun how "Family helps family" always seems to come from the family member not helping. NTA, btw. It might be worth considering skipping the trip if your sister was hard up for a babysitter because she was at risk of losing her job or had a dire emergency, but she just wants to go on her own vacation. F that. There's nothing special about having kids that means that everyone else has to cater to her; since you didn't get a say in them b
    via u/hilltopj
  • 25
    HazeemLover NTA. Please do NOT cancel your trip. Go, ignore their calls and have fun. You've earnt this time of celebration and it is like you mentioned, soon everyone will have jobs or other obligations. Making it difficult to plan another group trip like this. You will regret it if you so not go. Your family is being insanely gross for putting this in you and trying to guilt trip you. There is no twist or turn in this where you will be the a hle for not cancelling your trip. Why is your sister
    via u/HazeemLover

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family drama anniversary babysitter graduation sisters siblings friends Airbnb husband babysitting family sister trip mom road trip college graduate
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