‘Why is it my responsibility to make sure everyone’s travel dreams come true except my own?’: 21-year-old daughter refuses to invite emotionally manipulative mother on her dream girls' trip to Thailand, mother tries to guilt-trip her

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  • "AITA for not bringing my mom on my budget girls’ trip even though we’re already traveling together for 3 weeks?"

    I (F21) found an amazing round trip flight deal to Thailand and told my close friend (F20), who I've been trying to plan a girls' trip with for a while. We originally
  • wanted to go to Costa Rica, but our schedules didn't align, so we agreed to travel together later in the year when a good opportunity came up. I sent her the details, and she said yes right away. I haven't booked yet, but I told my mom (F50) I planned to do it today.
  • She immediately got excited and said she wants to come because going to Asia has always been her dream. I told her no, because it's a friend trip, and it would be
  • awkward to travel with my mom and a friend. We're also already going on a 3-week Europe trip next month with her and my
  • sister and we even splurged on luxury hotels for her. I've traveled with her every year for 2-3 weeks straight. I don't think it's unfair to want to travel without her.
  • She got mad and said it's not fair I didn't include her on my trip to South Korea and Japan last year. But that was spontaneous. I was planning to visit the same friend
  • in her home country, told a few people, and it turned into a last- minute group trip. My mom wasn't even available to come then. She says she has no friends
  • to travel with because she sacrificed so much raising us as a single mom. I get that, but I also don't think that's something I should feel guilty for. I've included her on nearly every other trip.
  • I also explained that this trip is budget-friendly. We're picking long layovers to save money, not staying in hostels but definitely not doing luxury, and planning
  • activities like zip lining and snorkeling things she has no interest in. Traveling with her is always more expensive, and I just can't afford to spend an extra $1K to make her comfortable. We already spent a lot on the upcoming trip.
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  • To top it off, she's now saying I can't use her travel credit card to book ((I always pay it back. immediately, we just use it for
  • points and free accomodation/flights for future trips). It feels like she's trying to guilt-trip me into not going.
  • What really gets me is that both of my sisters also dream of going to Thailand, but neither of them are coming or throwing a fit
  • about it. So why is it my responsibility to make sure everyone's travel dreams come true except my own? AITA for wanting to take this trip with a friend without including my mom?
  • CSurvivor9 NTA Stop telling your Mom about trips she's not invited to. That should solve more drama. Book things on your own without going through her. Suggest she go with your stster(s) to Thailand.
  • owls_and_cardinals NTA. This part pretty much told me what I needed to know: "She says she has no friends to travel with because she sacrificed so much raising us as a single mom."
  • These are the words of someone who is manipulative and entitled. You are 21 years old, and even if she sacrificed a lot to raise you and your siblings, you aren't obligated to be her entire social network. She does need friends, and it's INCREDIBLY of her to be blaming you that she doesn't have any.
  • Deciding you can't use her travel card, well that's petty and spiteful to be honest, but it is her card and she gets to decide how it gets used. Feels like the icing on the cake there. You are not being a bad daughter here - you are traveling with her for weeks very soon. It's ok for you to want to experience travel without her.

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