35-year-old birthday girl repeatedly turns down sister-in-law's invitation to go bowling not realizing event is her surprise party, SIL throws a tantrum over rejection: “I wasn't up for it”

I am not a huge fan of surprises – much less on my birthday. Ever since I turned 11 years old, I have felt a strange mix of anxiety and sorrow on my birthday. This totally stemmed form the disappointment of not getting a Hogwarts letter – something I knew deep down was impossible, but it definitely marked the end to my childhood. So, I like to meticulously plan the events of my birthday to avoid disappointments. My lovely and accomodating partner even gives me my birthday presents on the days leading up to my b-day so that there is absolutely no sense of surprise.

In our story today, a woman attempts to plan a surprise party for her sister-in-law. However, she doesn't really take into account that she might not take the bait and want to participate in the activity she is suggesting – bowling with a handful of mutual friends. In fact, our protagonist would much rather spending time with her husband and child and turns her down, not knowing the hang was meant to be in her honor.

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AITA for not going to the birthday party my SIL planned for me?

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I mean, yeah. This seemed a little last-minute and just goes to show that she doesn't know that much about her SIL if her bait was bowling with some buds over spending time with family.
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She also could've contacted our protagonist's husband to ask if our protagonist would even want some sort of surprise party. It's crazy to assume anyone would want that.
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