Mom protests when 17-year-old son calls her out for starting a relationship 2 weeks after his dad passed: 'He and my mom were married for 20 years'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 22, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

While pretty much everybody experiences the pain of grief at some point, it can be a mighty strange thing to experience. Many like to say that everybody processes it differently, and that certainly seems to be the case when you look at the lives of some people. It is hard to judge until you know what it is like, but at the same time, the approach that others take can sometimes seem alien even to those who have experienced the pain of losing someone close to them.

It is not uncommon for those who are grieving to find a distraction to take them away from the pain, whether that be something or someone. The trouble is that this might not always be the best idea, and others close to them may not approve of this method. Making a radical life change because somebody else's has ended doesn't always wind up being bad, but it can do. 

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    via Vidar Nordli-Mathisen

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for confronting my mom after she started seeing someone 2 weeks after my dad passed away?

    I'm 17, and my dad passed away suddenly a month ago. It's been incredibly hard. He and I were really close, and I still haven't fully processed that he's gone. He and my mom were married for 20 years. After he passed, we had him cremated and kept things quiet with just a small gathering of family, like my mom preferred.
    via No-March-3549

  • This was how one bereaved teenage son felt when his mom started dating somebody new, only a couple of weeks after his dad passed away. When she told him, he was shocked. He confronted her, saying that he felt it was too soon for her to start another relationship and that it disrespected both his feelings and his late father.

    His mom insisted that he didn't understand what she was going through, and this led to a tense dynamic between them. He wanted to know if he had gone too far.

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    Two weeks after he d d, my mom told me she had started seeing someone new. I was shocked. It felt way too soon, and honestly, it hurt. I couldn't believe she was already jumping into something that fast, while I was still barely able to get through the day without crying. So I confronted her. I told her I thought it was disrespectful to my dad's memory and incredibly hurtful to me. I didn't yell, but I was direct about how much it bothered me. She told me I don't understand what it's like to los
    via No-March-3549
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    Since then, things have been tense between us. I feel bad for upsetting her, but I still think two weeks was way too soon to start something new - especially when we hadn't even fully said goodbye. So, AITA for confronting my mom about how fast she started seeing someone after my dad passed? Edit: I think it would be very useful to add some more context. She also plans to let this dude move in within the next few days.
    via No-March-3549
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters sympathized with the situation that he was in.

    Cebuanolearner She was with him before 100 percent.
    via Cebuanolearner
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    Emergency-Paint-6457 2 Weeks! NTA, 2 weeks makes me think this person was the wings. already in
    via Emergency-Paint-6457
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    totallyworkinghere NTA. Everyone grieves at their own pace, and your mom may be coping with the loss by jumping into a new relationship. However, she should have kept you out of it. You're still grieving your father. That's a loss that isn't going to go away for a while. Your mother's new fling isn't going to last she's just trying to avoid being lonely by jumping into a new relationship. She had no need to tell you about it when her relationship was this new. Even single parents who had been al
    via totallyworkinghere
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    PeppermintEvilButler She's intending to move this man in. This is not someone she just met.
    via PeppermintEvilButler
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    Euphoric Travel2541 NTA. There's a reason most people in the past observed a formal mourning period. It gave shape and a kind of ceremony to the necessary work of grief and recovery and made it "visible" to others. There were certain expectations during mourning periods: no dating, wearing somber colors that grew lighter over the months, not attending merriments and entertainments for awhile. I'm sure it was oppressive for some, but today's lack of formality leads to things like dating two weeks
    via Euphoric_Travel2541
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    eveon03 NTA. Even if there was something in their relationship that you didn't know about, she should still keep any new relationship private until the grieving CHILD is ready to handle the news. Very inappropriate on your mom's part, and I'm so so sorry for your loss.
    via eveon03
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    FeedbackAltruistic96 NTA, she does have the right to grieve in her own way but she also still needs to act like a mother. The way she's chosen is not healthy and brings alot of other questions to the fore front. She should be in grief counseling. Therapy would do both of you alot of good to deal with your loss. Hopefully her actions don't ruin your relationship with her. You could try having another talk with her.
    via FeedbackAltruistic96
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    RuinBeginning776 As someone who lost your dad you are in the right to confront your mom about this, I would 100% feel some type of way if my mom did this 2 weeks after. I would get a therapist and also recommend your mother one. Your feelings are 100% valid!! Your mom is buggin!
    via RuinBeginning776
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    NTA Pride And NoPredjudice Not only is she in a new relationship only after 2 weeks, but she's expecting you to be okay with him moving in so soon!? Like his funeral just happened and his stuff is probably still all over the house even. These are the types of parents that wonder why their children no longer speak to them.
    via PrideAndNoPredjudice
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    Far-Independence-429 NTA. She needs therapy not a relationship
    via Far-Independence-429
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    Medium Rare000 First of all, my absolute deepest condolences on the loss of your father. NTA. I would ASAP talk to another close family relative or many of them that will actually speak up and talk logically and loudly to your mom regarding her trying to move this crazy mooch into your house!!!! Because that is what a person who would start dating a widow of 2 weeks AND move in with her in that time frame. Seriously, none of this is thought out, logical or responsible of her. I know she is griev
    via MediumRare000
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    ΝΤΑ OlympiaShannon I think you have every right to both judge and not support what you are seeing your mother do. Trying to make you feel bad for that is manipulative; she isn't owed your support for dating so soon, or lack of judgement. So long as you are still decently polite and well-behaved yourself, she will have to live with herself and the tension in the house. Stand firm.
    via OlympiaShannon
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    RayRay57 NTA, my father did the same thing. 2 weeks after my hubbys mom passed, his dad took off his wedding ring and started hitting on women such as a convenience store clerk, etc.. Within a month he was in love with a woman from The Eagles Club and within another month she was living with him. He just found a warm body to replace his wife. He ignored his family and made his life about this woman. Yeah, it is his life however I feel that a parent must consider their children's feelings. My hus
    via RayRay57
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    bamf1701 NTA. You can't help how you feel, and, especially because you are still a minor and living at home, your mother's dating life does affect you quite a bit. Therefore you should have some say in it. I've read your responses, and it is also way too fast for this person to be moving in, even if your mother had waited longer. You don't just have someone who your child doesn't know move in with no warning. You have to let the child get to know them first over time. What your mother is doing i
    via bamf1701
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    Opposite-Ad-2223 So sorry for your loss and I fully understand where you are coming from. As others have said I think grief counseling would be good for both you and your mom, but want to pass on a truth I have learned over the years. My father did what your mom has done (moved fast). It was hard for me to comprehend for a long time, but over the years I learned that he was the type of person that couldn't stand to be alone and needed to be taken care of. I am the opposite and an avid loner. He
    via Opposite-Ad-2223
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    Chris881 NTA if I was you I would think she was cheating on my dad for a long time and nothing would make me think otherwise.
    via Chris881
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    Embarrassed Raccoon34 NTA and I'm very sorry for your loss. As someone who has lost their spouse I would advise your mom not to make any major decisions within the first 6 months. The fog takes time to clear and she really shouldn't be considering MOVING THIS MAN IN TO YOUR HOME at this time. Is there another family member or friend of your mom's who you could enlist to help? Someone who your mom respects? I would be calling every family member I could think of to tell them that she is trying to
    via EmbarrassedRaccoon34
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