Grandma jokes about feeding 7-week-old baby cereal, gets offended when daughter-in-law doesn't want her to babysit: 'The family is saying I'm gatekeeping the baby'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 24, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Becoming a parent for the first time is a mightily overwhelming experience for even the strongest of individuals. All of a sudden, this tiny person depends on you for their every need, and if you happen to be the one who gave birth, you also have your own physical recovery to be concerned about, too. 

Taking this into consideration, the number one thing that most new parents need is a good support network, usually involving family members. However, while they may be eager to help, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are actually going to be helpful. Even within families, people can have vastly different ideas of what the best ways to raise a baby are. This can be especially true of the different generations, who, a lot of the time, have listened to completely different advice from one another. It is easy for this to become a source of tension at an already stressful period.

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  • 01

    AIO for refusing to let my MIL babysit after she joked about putting cereal in my newborn’s bottle?

    Our baby is 7 weeks old. My MIL (60s) is super involved and has been pushing to babysit. I've let her visit often, but I've been hesitant to leave the baby alone with her. Here's why: during one visit, she joked that she used to put rice cereal in bottles to "help babies sleep" and said, "Maybe I'll try that when you're not looking." I thought she was kidding. I nervously laughed and said "Please don't ever do that." She shrugged and said, "Oh, don't be so uptight, I raised three kids and they t
    via Wrong-Cherry-2234
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10509292032
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This was an issue that one new mom ran into after her mother-in-law got involved with her and her husband's baby in the weeks after the birth. The grandma made a joke about adding cereal to the baby's bottle so they would sleep better, which concerned her daughter-in-law.

    Reflecting on the comment, she told her husband that she didn't want his mom spending time alone with the baby, and he agreed. However, she was angry upon finding this out, and the young mom wanted to know if she was being too harsh.

  • 03
    After that, I told my husband I don't feel comfortable leaving the baby with her. He agreed, but his mom found out somehow and now she's furious. She says I'm being overprotective and punishing her for "just making a joke." Now the family is saying I'm "gatekeeping the baby" and being cold. But I don't think it's funny to joke about doing something that could actually harm a newborn?? So... am I being too rigid?
    via Wrong-Cherry-2234
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    Cheezburger Image 10509292288
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05

    Outsiders reassured her that her fears were valid.

    CuriousPenguinSocks NOR and it wasn't a joke. When you are confronted by family, just say "It wasn't a joke, I asked her to confirm and she said her kids turned out fine so she will do it if left alone with my baby. That's not okay for me and if you think it is, then you're off the baby sitting list too. I won't have others trying to parent my child or do things I've said no to. It's not hard to respect another person. This is NOT a negotiation." To her "You were not joking, I asked you to clari
    via CuriousPenguinSocks
  • 06
    jesssongbird I have a MIL like this. You are NOR. And she isn't joking. She's informing you that she feels entitled to override your parenting decisions because she raised x number of kids and they are all "fine". Meanwhile she's forgotten more than she realizes and guidelines have changed, many of them to reduce injuries and infant mortality. My MIL hated current baby care and safety guidelines. She didn't listen to "all of those parenting experts" and she hated that I did. Cereal in the bottle
    via jesssongbird
  • 07
    I would decline all babysitting offers and watch her like a hawk around your baby. It's not worth the stress to you and possible harm to your baby. A good babysitter isn't the person who thinks they know it all already because they parented little ones decades ago. A good sitter is someone who listens to the child's parents and is current on baby care and safety. Your job is to protect your baby. That's it. It's not to impress people with how chill you are. It's not to humor grandma or worry abo
    via jesssongbird
  • 08
    Academic Molasses920 Ah yes, the whole "keep them up all day so they sleep better at night" advice I also got from my MIL Thank God I didn't listen to that. I have an aunt who also has shown little concern or respect for how I want certain things done. So, she will never babysit. And I mean NEVER. I don't care how old your child is it's your job to protect them.
    via Academic_Molasses920
  • 09
    different-take4u NOR. Please accept the gatekeeping accusations and be proud of it, smile and thank people for saying that. You are supposed to be the gatekeeper, that is literally your job, protecting your child from those that may cause harm. Joking about not following a mother's instructions is totally an acceptable reason for gatekeeping your MIL from babysitting until your child is old enough to share with you everything MIL does when you are not around. Perhaps about the age of five your c
    via different-take4u
  • 10
    mtngr160 NOR. Have your husband tell his mom that if she wants to tell a joke, make sure it's funny. Not something that directly contradicts what a new mother has asked her not to do. And have him remind her that actions have consequences. Bad jokes that are actually ones that are meant to be condescending are never funny. So her consequence is not babysitting the baby. Also... Make sure that the two of you do not take on board all of her negative emotions. This is a classic FAFO. And when happe
    via mtngrl60
  • 11
    emmalopez32 Exactly. The idea that a parent 'owes' access to their baby is wild. Protecting your child isn't gatekeeping, it's just parenting. Anyone who doesn't get that shouldn't be unsupervised around them, period.
    via emmalopez32
  • 12
    buttpickles99 I'd rather be called a gatekeeper with an alive and healthy child than make her happy and let her stomp all over me. Who the h I jokes about harming her own grandchild as well as telling you she intends to disregard your boundaries. I would be limiting contact hard until she apologizes and absolutely not leave her alone with the baby until you feel like you can trust her (which may very well be never). Thank god your husband is on your side. Stop talking directly to MIL, all commun
    via buttpickles99
  • 13
    caprisundreaming Nope nope nope. NOR and not being too rigid. There are certain things you don't joke about when someone else's baby, and one of those things is saying you will do ANYTHING to that baby behind their mother's back. It's not funny. It's not cute. It's disrespectful. Stick to your guns and do not let her be alone with your child until you are 100% confident she will respect your wishes. If she's joking about this stuff and saying OUT LOUD that she'll do something behind your back, t
    via caprisundreaming
  • 14
    Suspicious-Cat8623 All first time mothers "gatekeep" the baby. I would be concerned if you did not. Your baby = Your rules. Rice cereal is not the issue. The MIL breaking boundaries definitely is
    via Suspicious-Cat8623
  • 15
    Responsible_Side8131 You are NOR. Guidelines change. We learn more and try to do better than we used to. You definitely should not leave the baby with someone who is not going to abide by your wishes. I remember my MIL telling me that my BIL was having rice cereal in his bottle by the time she brought him home. from the hospital at 10 days old
    via Responsible_Side8131
  • 16
    Substantial-Stage-82 NO.. "don't be so uptight, I raised 3 kids and they're ok" (paraphrasing) she's passive aggressively saying that she knows better than you and would totally, intentionally disobey your wishes and give the baby the cereal. That's YOUR baby.. So what if you're "gatekeeping" or whatever they called it.. who cares. IMO When your baby is no longer an infant, then you breathe a little. But as an infant there's so much that can go wrong or happen and if it makes you feel better to
    via Substantial-Stage-82
  • 17
    daisybuunn Not a joke at all. Keep this woman away from your baby OP. This is dangerous level of stupidity.
    via daisybuunn
  • 18
    HappySummerBreeze "Gatekeeping the baby" ... also known as parenting She confirmed that she wasn't making a joke, she indicated that she would not respect your wishes as a parent. It would be irresponsible of you to ignore the clear warning she gave you.
    via HappySummerBreeze
  • 19
    surfinforthrills NOR. And tell them Yes, you are gatekeeping your baby. It's YOUR baby. Tell them you are the ONLY expert in raising this particular child. Then ignore any comments and keep being a Mama Bear. You are the only protection that little one has.
    via surfinforthrills
  • 20
    SweetWaterfall0579 It's only a joke if everyone is laughing. She's not joking. She's telling you what she WILL do. Don't ever let her be alone with baby - ever. She is a danger to your child.
    via SweetWaterfall0579
  • 21
    No-Broccoli-5932 NOR. Gatekeeping is your most important duty right now. I never trust "oh, I was just joking" when people get push back on nutsy things they say. You bet your she will try and feed your baby rice cereal if she is left to baby sit, if only to prove you wrong. She wants to take a parental role when she's not the parent. Establish strong boundaries now, enforce them strongly and tell the flying monkeys that "being the gatekeeper and being cold" is your new job description and you t
    via No-Broccoli-5932

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family drama aita baby grandma babysitting mother in law family reddit thread Reddit mom
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