Triplet dad takes two 14-year-old sons on amusement park 'boys trip', protests when wife takes excluded daughter on day out in retaliation: 'He said I shouldn't get her used to special treatment'

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    AITA for taking my daughter somewhere when my husband and sons went on a 'boys trip'?

    I (43f) have triplets: Mark, Liam, and Abby (14) with my husband Josh (45m.) Last Friday Josh decided to bring Mark and Liam on a spontaneous trip to Six Flags. I don't like amysement parks so I wasn't bothered by not being invited. Abby asked to go as well but Mark and Liam said it was a "boy's trip" and that she would ruin the vibe. Abby was upset because she felt left out and I felt bad for her so I decided we'd have a day out.
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    On Saturday we went to Cheesecake Factory (our favorite restaurant), a local spa, and I let her have a mini shopping spree at the mall that only came out to about $150. I paid for it all since I got a hefty bonus and didn't know what else to spend it on. She felt better after and we even had a heartfelt mother-daughter moment at Build-A-Bear where we made each other bears. We also had brunch on Sunday although it wasn't very costly.
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    The boys came home last night and Abby was excited to tell Josh all about what we did over the weekend. He got mad and confronted me about it saying I shouldn't have done that. I asked why because he refused to let Abby go in the first place and he said it was a boy's trip and that I shouldn't get her used to special treatment for not being involved in anything. I asked why it bothered him so much since I know he'd do it for our sons but he won't tell me why it bothers him so much. He ended up e
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    Commenters agreed she wasn't the one in the wrong.

    guycoastal You, mom, sabotaged the extra special nature of their "boys only" road trip, because he cannot now "save the day" with daughter by doing something special for her. Now he's just the a-he who excluded her and you're the saint who saved her. Daddy D-bag failed to consider this option and is big mad at you both for outmaneuvering him, so, acting out.
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    NTA Answer_The_Walrus Your husband has some kind of issue with your daughter. Sexist? Gender disappointment that he didn't get a whole batch of boys? Whatever it is, it's not ok to treat your daughter as an outsider. He didn't spontaneously plan that trip. He intentionally planned a trip for just 'his boys'. He's mad that you didn't neglect her as well, seems like to him only the boys matter. ETA: Just re-read this and saw he even tried to take her bear?! He has some serious issues with your dau
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    LadyBug_0570 So were you and Abby supposed to stay home and knit until the menfolk came home?
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    Embarrassed_Advice59 Your husband is being sexist hypocrite. No this is not okay for either of your children as he's building room for resentment to take root. He excluded your daughter from a trip but got mad when you took her out to cheer her up? Yea...you have a problem and it's your husband. NTA
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    Embarrassed_Advice59 Also any child would love to visit the amusement park. Your husband and sons were again, excluding her.
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    InternationalTexan71 Unacceptable. I wouldn't give the boys a choice right now. I would pack up all 3 kids, say we're going to see Tia, and drive. And then have one on one conversations with each one about this so-called boys trip. NTA, but you apparently married one.
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    ClickDependent8 OP You're right, I'll have all 3 of them come with me.
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    lizzyote This is alarming behavior tbh. If they're allowed boys trips, why are girls trips not allowed? Unless he can give a better explanation, the only reason he's against this is because he wanted her to feel excluded. So why does he insist his daughter feel excluded? Does he hate her or something? Is this the first time he's treated her as less than when it comes to all the kids?
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    ClickDependent8 OP He refuses to explain why and just says that it's not right and won't explain further. I don't know if he hates her but I am wondering now, and wondering why would he treat her this way? There have been times before where he'd take the boys somewhere extravagant and take Abby somewhere less than exciting after (like taking our sons camping for the weekend and taking Abby to Denny's to make it up) but she always seemed to appreciate it so I thought he put thought into it. Now I
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    Fedupintx To be blunt, I read this and wondered how someone could stay married to such an a_h_le for over 14 years. But the fact you're even wondering if you're the a hle makes it apparent you've simply gotten used to his bulls. Get both of you into marriagr counseling and be sure to take a hard look back at how you've been treated and don't hold back during therapy. His behavior is beyond the pale.
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    Annual_Version_6250 NTA but I don't get your husband's reaction???? Was he possibly going to do a daddy-daughter day and now feels he can't.... but why wouldn't he tell you? And trying to take her bear? That's the equivalent of saying "you don't deserve anything because you don't have a I don't know, I think this goes deep and is worth digging into. 14 is such a hard age.
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    Mysterious_Book8747 Um...first of all no you're NTA. Secondly, you need to dig a lot deeper into this situation. This is so incredibly far from normal you aren't even calibrating to ask the right question. Why would he feel threatened or angry about you bonding with your own daughter? Why is spending time with her one on one something he is panicking about? That is NOT normal at all. Not even a little bit. Take her back out one on one - dinner or hiking or whatever - and tell her you noticed thi
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    HospitalNatural2214 THIS. A normal adult does not want to leave out and belittle a child, I would not be putting it past him to be doing more hurtful things to her self esteem when you aren't around. I second the "stay quiet until she responds," that way she has room to think and articulate her thoughts. Make sure you make it clear that you love her and she's absolutely not in trouble or going to be in trouble with you! She needs a safe adult to have her back, and you're doing great at that role
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    MOONL1GHT87 Ask him why he hates Amy NTA but you have a serious husband problem and it's rubbing off on your boys too as they had no problem excluding their triplet either
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    Vibin0212 Not only all of this, but then trying to take her bear? Yeah, he would be out of the house, or all the kids and I would be out of there until he gets his sh together as a father. NTA. He was an AH from the very start by excluding her, it is alright as a mother to try and retify that pain by having a girl's day. That's not getting her used to special treatment, it's bonding and making up for her father's treatment. You need to have a serious talk to him about how your daughter will perc
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    Complete Aerie_6908 He can kick rocks.
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    IJRoleplayer85

    IJRoleplayer85 If you allow this man around your daughter when he is obviously emotionally ab ive to her
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    Organic-Willow2835 Whoa there - your husband is a massive problem. Quite honestly, the fact he wouldn't allow Abby to go to 6 Flags with them says everything I need to know. Ask him when HER trip to 6 flags with him is. Sis, you need to push back hard on this.
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    Reggae Dawn Your husband is not only excluding your daughter, but he's teaching your sons that it is appropriate to exclude women.
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    Aggravating-Buy613 NTA unless you nip this cr p in the bud right now. Its clear your husband doesn't value your daughter. You can see it. We can see it. And so can she. What I found most telling in your post is how you mentioned the money and how you earned it, as though justifying how you spent your money on your shared child kid instead of his money is concerning. Your husband spent that just in tickets and parking on your other two children without asking you about it, and then got mad you da

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