Dad criticizes 19-year-old son and 17-year-old daughter for planning a sibling tattoo that "excludes" their 3 younger step-siblings and 2 half-siblings: 'He said there is no difference in our family and a sibling is a sibling'

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    AITA for planning on getting a sibling tattoo with just my full sister and telling dad it's none of his business?

    I (19M) grew up in a blended family. Me and my sister (17F) have the same mom and dad. After our parents divorce dad remarried and blended us with his wife and her kids (16, 15 and 13 are their current ages). Then
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    Cheezburger Image 10514375168
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    my dad and his wife had kids together and I have two half siblings (11 and 9). My sister's and my mom did when we were 11 and 9 and we went from every other week at each house to living full time with the blended family.
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    This got brought up when dad found out me and my sister have a sibling tattoo designed that we both wanna get once she's 18. He found the draw up of the design in my sister's room and he was annoyed because it's just me and my sister. He called me up and
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    told me he knew about the tattoo and he didn't like that we were planning to get something like that. The reason he gave is we have more than one sibling and doing this is like saying it's us against them and drawing lines where there doesn't need to be any and should be none. He said there is no difference in our family and a sibling is a sibling.
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    Then he lectured me on not feeling the same way. He knew this. We talked about it once when I was 14 and he lectured me on not being the same way with my steps and halfs as I was with my sister.
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    I told dad it was none of his business if we get the tattoo or not. And that we're waiting until my sister's old enough and he can't stop us getting it. Dad said he'd be incredibly disappointed in the two of us if we go ahead with it and create a divide in the family we made. He told me this whole
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    thing's wrong and going ahead is mean spirited and only meant to hurt five people who love us and look up to us. Then he told me he's still our dad and saying it's none of his business is untrue for the reason of he's still our dad and because he wants us to make better choices.
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    My sister and I talked about it after and she had a similar talk with dad. She wants to go ahead with our plan and so do I. Dad went looking for the design again and found it. He texted me last night saying he was so disappointed and I should reflect on what I'm doing because it makes me an a to the steps and halfs.
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    BA SNOW
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    Wandering_aimlessly9 Nta. “I can't believe you are acting this way in how we want to honor our mom. It's very disappointing that you think you have the right to prevent us from doing something so thoughtful that we've talked about doing for the past 5 years. Losing mom was something I don't know if I will ever fully get over since it was such an impressionable time in our lives. I can't believe you
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    would draw such a line in the family over this and claim it has anything to do with the other children who, haven't lost their mother. There is a huge difference between sibling and I vs the other children...they all still have their mother. We don't. You trying to stop us is mean spirited. I'm rather disappointed in you dad."
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    Future-Nebula74656 Unfortunately the father if he's going this hard about the blended family, would claim that OP and his full bl d sister did have a mom even though it was a new mom.. The problem is is that their father is trying to force the same style of relationship in between the stepchildren and the half children to OP and his full blod sister..
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    Usually that just creates more a divide in the family and it's being caused by the adults of the family trying to force a relationship OP NTA. OP, I would suggest that you and your sister slightly change the design so even if your father has got copies of this tattoo now you guys can say it's not the exact same and it's not the same meaning
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    And I hope the tattoo shops near you are very reputable because they will not let children underneath the age of 18 get tattooed which should mean that no tattoo shop even with the father's permission with tattoo their kid.. I just have a bad feeling your father would go this far to try to have the family bond that he wants
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    brittanylouwhoooo I strongly disagree with the second part of your comment. OP and sister absolutely should not change the design of a tattoo they've wanted for 5 years to accommodate their Dad's insecurities.
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    Wind-and-Waystones I think they're saying to change it to a design the dad doesn't have so that he can't pass the design to the other kids to force it being a shared tattoo between them all
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    cg13a Your body your choice.
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    SincerelyCynical Can I just add that this doesn't have to be considered a line in the sand? You and your sister shared a life that your other five step/half siblings didn't. You share a mom, a decade of memories with her, and a horrible loss that no child should ever have to experience. No matter how much or how little you love your step/half siblings, these experiences represent a bond between you and your sister that can't be replicated or replaced with anyone else. Maybe explain that to your
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    Salty Thing3144 NTA! This is a sweet tribute to each other, and none of dear old dad's biz once you are 18.
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    Manic_Spleen Dad should be proud of their bond, instead of being disappointed in them.
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    Turbulent-Survey-166 "Dad, you have as much say in this as I had a say in who you married and what our family dynamics would be as a result. Actions, meet consequences. I am disappointed in YOU that as the father, have not been behaving like this but want me to now. Tsk tsk"
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    brittanylouwhoooo This! Did OP have a say in who the dad married? He doesn't get a say in whose names OP gets tattooed on their body. Period. Everyone else can go see a therapist. If this bothers them so much that 'it causes family division', then they obviously have some bigger emotional hang ups that need sorting out. That's on them.
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    Chance_Culture_441 There is a fundamental difference between the relationship you have with your sister that you have known since her birth, who has shared the same experiences of going thru your parents divorce, navigating custody changes and new "family" members, losing your mom- you two share all of these experiences, that your step and half siblings can never be a part of. They are just a different relationship, and there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that, while you have a relationshi

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