'As long as you take care of him, because we won't!': 22-year-old says yes to 18-year-old brother taking in a sick stray, but pawses the deal after brother is catastrophically unprepared

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jun 9, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

This first-time homeowner was feline pretty good about moving into a new place with his twin brother after years of living in a cramped two-bedroom with five other people. But the good vibes didn't last long. Just a few days into settling in, the younger brother decided to adopt a sick, unneutered stray cat… without asking anyone.

The cat was let in through an open door and promptly declared "our cat" by the brother and his teenage girlfriend (who doesn't even live there). Despite having no job, the brother insists they can care for the cat, though it's mostly the girlfriend footing the vet bills. Meanwhile, the house is already looking a mess, smelling worse, and there are still two other cats waiting to move in once the place is ready.

Understandably, this has raised some red flags. While there was an initial "sure, as long as you take care of it," that agreement is starting to unravel faster than a ball of yarn. Can you really commit to a sick cat if you can't even commit to cleaning the litter box?

Backing out of the cat deal might seem cold, but expecting basic responsibility? That's just purractical.

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  • 01
    'I've been going back on my word about letting the cat stay' Ο
    via RenataApanaviciene / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    For a little context, I (22M) just closed on a deal for our very first home with my twin brother (22M) and we're in the process of moving from our apartment, I have four siblings the oldest (24M) my twin, and my younger siblings (12F) (18M) and my youngest brother. The apartment we were living in only has two bedrooms and there
    via u/Sebastest
  • 03
    was seven of us living there, my mom (48F) and her Ex (49M), getting this house was a huge deal for us, more space and less cleaning up after each other.
    via u/Sebastest
  • 04
    While at work we had the fiber Internet people were scheduled to come at the house in the morning, and both my older brother and younger brother want to the house to let him in and do his thing, only one of them needed to be there but it's whatever.
    via u/Sebastest
  • 05
    Later in the day my younger brother texted me about adopting a cat (not exactly sure on the age but it's young and unneutered and quite sick) who they let inside by leaving the door open, at first I was like sure, as long as you take care of him, because we won't! We
    via u/Sebastest
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10515156736
    via Elles Rijsdijk / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    already have two female cats. At first I didn't think much of it, I was busy and working, and I lived in the apartment for the time being so I haven't been there yet. But I provided him with links for a "neuter voucher" and a bunch of other resources he can work on, hes struggling to get a job but his girlfriend (17?F) encouraged him to keep the cat and she's even funding it for them, they consider it "their" cat, yet they're not even living together
    via u/Sebastest
  • 08
    I was worried about his girlfriend is enabling him to keep it, plus the cat needed to be neutered and cured of their sickness before we brought our two cats there.
    via u/Sebastest
  • 09
    It's been three days since they've been there. Just last night we visited to leave some stuff from the apartment and food, upon arrival the house was a bit of a mess, there was a strong and not pleasant feline smell, food was left out, and they already set up their computers on the floor to game,
    via u/Sebastest
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10515156480
    via Syda Productions / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Anyways It was quite frustrating to see that they left the first chance they got only to not do much to begin with, they don't particularly have the resources to drive out of there so I get that they felt stuck and undirected, still when I arrived I couldn't help but fear we'll have the same issues at our previous home.
    via u/Sebastest
  • 12
    I asked him if his girlfriend could take care of the cat while we're still moving in, he tells me she can't, I have absolutely no contact with her so I take his word for it
    via u/Sebastest
  • 13
    Still This frustrated me to h I because he anchored himself down at our house with a responsibility I'm not even sure he can do by himself, he tells me he doesn't rely on his gf and that they're both putting in the work in but he doesn't even have a job and seeing the place the house is in, I just don't believe him.
    via u/Sebastest
  • 14
    So I've been going back on my word about letting the cat stay, I'm still encouraging him to tell his girlfriend to take care of him in the meantime. But I ask you strangers, am I the a hole for taking my word back on this cat?
    via u/Sebastest
  • 15
    Lower_Link_6570 NTA. You made a call based on what you were told, and when the reality didn't match, you adjusted... that's not being flaky, that's being responsible. You're not dealing with just some cute animal here, you're dealing with a sick, unneutered stray in a brand-new shared space that isn't even fully set up yet. On top of that, your
    via u/Lower_Link_6570
  • 16
    brother doesn't have a job, and from what you saw, the house was already messy, smelled bad, and looked like things were sliding right back into old patterns. That's a real concern. His girlfriend might mean well, but "meaning well" doesn't clean up after a cat or pay vet bills. And if he's already falling short three days in, it's fair to question
    via u/Lower_Link_6570
  • 17
    whether he can handle it. You didn't sign up to carry the weight of someone else's pet, especially when you've already got two of your own to worry about. This is your home too. You have every right to protect it.
    via u/Lower_Link_6570
  • 18
    Mi... NTA. Sounds like your brother is unable to properly take care of a sick cat. If he doesn't have the money, time or resources to care for it properly, chances are it will only get sicker. The right thing to do would be to take it to the humane society so it can get the treatment it needs and hopefully find a forever home.
    via u/MintSonnet
  • 19
    statslady23 ESH. If you were living in a house with seven people and only two bedrooms, there is no way you should have been funding pets at all. My guess is the house doesn't give you enough room for any pets, either.
    via u/statslady23
  • 20
    Claude-clawed-clod NTA, you specifically added the caveat as long as you take care of it. Then you witnessed evidence that he was not taking care of it. Therefore, you are not going back on your word.
    via u/Claude-clawed-clod
  • 21
    ro... NTA. dude brought home a sick, unfixed street cat with no job, a messy house, and a teenage gf funding it all? and you're supposed to trust he'll handle this responsibly? h I nah.
    via u/royallyseagreen

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advice argument family Cats siblings feline stray rescue
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