Man barred from eating at family BBQ until he does yard work for ex-wife's stepdad, he ditches the cookout after being lured under false pretenses: “I wasn't wanted if I wasn't going to help”

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    AITA for leaving a "family" BBQ when asked to help in the garden?

    "I wasn't dressed for yard work"
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    On Thursday, I was invited to a family BBQ at my ex-wife's step-father's house scheduled for today. I brought BBQ sausages, and prepared a home-made
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    pasta salad and potato salad Being good weather I dressed in summery clothes and shoes, as did my GF who was also invited.
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    When we got there, we were told that we each had to help first-clear the patio of dog mess (my dogs were at home) and then clear a space in the garden so that my ex-wife's step-father could put a greenhouse there next week.
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    After stating that I wasn't dressed for yard work, and had just been expecting conversation and drinks/food on the patio, I declined to help. Instantly
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    everyone made it clear to me that I wasn't wanted if I wasn't going to help, so myself and my GF left and found a nice country pub for dinner instead.
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    I've got back home now and kids of the adults who were there are now calling me names on social media and stating that I'm scared of hard work.
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    Did I do the right thing after being lured there under false pretences or should I have stayed and potentially ruined a good set of clothes just to appease them?
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    Worried_Suit4820 My sister and her then-boyfriend went to a housewarming party, dressed for a party, bottle of wine in hand. When they got there they were given a paintbrush and were assigned a wall to paint. They left too.
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    Objective_Attempt_14 Yeah thats called a paint party, it's normal, but it's also "A paint party" people know and dress accordingly...then you feed them
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    Twist Repulsive7331 Key thing is consent-surprising guests with labor isn't the same as inviting them to help and making it clear.
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    G48ST4R I am almost 50 and this is the first time I hear about paint parties. I had absolutely no idea this was a thing. Are there also home building parties? Or complete home renovation parties? Asking for a friend.
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    Firebird-girl There are such things as "project parties" where people are invited to paint, a landscaping project, etc. BUT, it is advertised as such and usually food and alc ol are
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    provided at the end, as a sort of payment or to show appreciation for the help. I have never heard of anyone being "surprised" like this, and I would have left too.
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    nursejacqueline I actually held a party like this when I painted my garage, but it was explicitly stated that it was a painting party followed by food/drinks.
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    It was actually a lot of fun, and the interior of my garage has a fabulously eclectic artwork collection from all of my friends! But obviously your sister and her BF weren't at this type of party...
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    Over-Masterpiece4600 That's called a House Painting Party. I've had one - and we supplied everything, including White Caps & Painting Shirts, not to mention Food, Drink & Music. All my guests & family members knew the plan beforehand, of course. Some people are nuts!
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    ElarenVale NTA, who invites someone to a BBQ and then springs yard work on them like it's a volunteer day? You showed up with food, not a shovel lol
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    Then _Drink1894 It's ridiculous to expect guests to do yard work at a BBQ. Total bait and switch!
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    Puzzled Internet_717 Right! It's one to ask for help carrying the food out (especially things that need to be refrigerated), or setting chairs around a table, but yard work is a no.
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    Unlikely-Ad5982 NTA. They are though. You don't invite someone to bbq and expect them to work like that. Maybe help to move a chair or two but that's it. I'd contact them and tell them to get the kids to take down the social media posts or you will tell the truth about their 'party'
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    ichoosewaffles Indeed! I have attended many family yard work parties where we help out my grandma or my aunt BUT I get to dress appropriately and they provide all the food :)
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    Charming Candidate 308 I'm curious. Did you leave the food you prepared or did you take it with you?
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    Large-Meat-Feast OP I left it - I always make 1 for the party and 1 for home anyway. Taking it back would just be throwing it away.

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