Working class 25-year-old ostracized by 26-year-old boyfriend's rich family, he refuses to stand up to them in fear of losing inheritance: "I'm not the kind of girl they imagined for him"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 6, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

When you get married, you also marry into that person's family. Suddenly, you have twice as many birthdays to remember and a whole new set of parents that need your attention. Gone are the days of relaxed holidays spent idly at your mom's house – you must now find a way to satisfy both sides with your vacation days. However, if you marry into a loving family, all of the extra hustle is completely worth it. 

In our story today, a young woman is in a relationship with a rather wealthy guy. This lifestyle is completely new to her; she feels like a fish out of water. Despite everything, she makes an effort to make it to family events and give a good impression. However, eventually word gets back to her that the family are disappointed in their son's choice in partner. When he makes it clear that he's not willing to stand up to his own kin on her behalf, she begins to wonder if this relationship is even worth it. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to hang out with my boyfriend's family after finding out what they really think of me?

    Cheezburger Image 10524848896
    via Monkey Business Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Im 25f, my boyfriend is 26, we've been together for just over a year and live together. Things are usually pretty good with us, but his family is like next-level rich, with vacation homes and a fancy estate and all
    via Reddit
  • 03
    that. I come from a totally different world, like my parents are working class, I went to public school, worked through college. Never thought it was a big deal until I started hanging out with his family.
    via Reddit
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10524848128
    via Nebojsa93 from Getty Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Theyre nice enough to my face, but I always feel kinda out of place. There are these little comments, like his mom asking if I had ever been out of the country before him, or his aunt wondering if their lifestyle overwhelms me.
    via Reddit
  • 06
    Recently I found out that his mom was talking to relatives about how I'm not the kind of girl they imagined for him. She thinks I'm after comfort or something and is watching me like a hawk in case
    via Reddit
  • 07
    I'm gonna push to settle down too fast. I was really hurt. I never asked for anything from him or his family. Sure I live at his place, but I cover my own stuff, and Im not dropping hints about marriage or their money.
    via Reddit
  • 08
    I told my boyfriend, and he said his mom is always on guard because she doesnt trust peoples intentions with him. He also said he's trying to keep things chill with his family because he's scared of
    via Reddit
  • 09
    getting disowned, like his parents control all the money. Plus, he doesnt trust his siblings, who he thinks would totally use me skipping family stuff to make him look bad and score points with their parents.
    via Reddit
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10524848640
    via 89Stocker

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Now I just dont want to go to their family events. I'm tired of pretending everythings fine while they think I'm some gold digger. My boyfriend says I'm making
    via Reddit
  • 12
    too big a deal out of it and that avoiding them could cause drama, especially if his siblings spin it against him. He's begging me to just s k it up and go to keep things peaceful.
    via Reddit

  • Sounds like she might be dating a Targaryan with all of these crazy family dynamics. 

  • 13
    Mrsanjuro75 You're in the worst place - if you do pull out of family functions, you're basically affirming his mother's opinion of you; if you go, you're there knowing that they're judging your every move.
    via u/Mrsanjuro75
  • 14
    Personally, I'd limit contact but still attend important things. I'd also be talking to you bf about stepping up with his family and shutting that sh down.
    via u/Mrsanjuro75
  • 15
    Realistic_List7286 He's not going to do it. Because he said to her that they control the money. He's more concerned about what he's going to get in the future than what she's going through with his family.
    via u/Realistic_List7286
  • 16
    Consistent-Leg2963 Agreed 100%. She's stuck in a tough spot either way, Keepin' some distance while still showing up for the big stuff sounds like the smartest move. Her bf really does need to step up though.
    via u/Consistent-Leg2963
  • 17
    Key-Asparagus350 He's never going to, and unfortunately that may cause him to have a hard time being in good relationships because people shouldn't be put through h I like that.
    via u/Key-Asparagus350
  • 18
    Master-Special860 She's just trying to protect her peace while getting judged behind her back. Her boyfriend's family is acting all snobby, and while her BF is
    via u/Master-Special860
  • 19
    stuck in the middle, it's not her job to just s k it up forever. That said, the top comment is pretty realistic and balanced, acknowledging the emotional toll but also offering a smart strategy for survival.
    via u/Master-Special860
  • 20
    wistful_drinker If he were willing, or even capable, of "stepping up" to his family, he would have already. OP shouldn't have to train him how to act decently.
    via u/wistful_drinker
  • 21
    Intelligent State280 This is your approach before walking away. Your bf needs to be assertive and ask himself can he live without his inheritance (because it's not coming until later in life). Can he survive with his own money?
    via u/Intelligent_State280
  • 22
    There's nothing more draining than being financially manipulated. It makes you feel powerless and slowly wears you down from within. It eats away at you from the inside.
    via u/Intelligent_State280
  • 23
    Gentlewomen NeverTell Do you see this relationship as long term? If so, can you imagine dealing with these people at every holiday and life event, judging you. Or would you feel ok asking your bf to cut them off? Would he cut
    via u/GentlewomenNeverTell

  • This relationship dynamic doesn't sound sustainable at all. It's good avice to cut it off here before she gets too invested. 

  • 24
    Cheezburger Image 10524848384
    via StefanDahl

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  • 25
    them off? What does this look like with kids? And if you have a big problem with how your kids are being treated, what an you do to protect them? They have all of the resources. You have none.
    via u/GentlewomenNeverTell
  • 26
    That saying: when you marry someone, you marry their family-- people should take it more seriously. The people your partner is surrounded by are a big part of your relationship.
    via u/GentlewomenNeverTell
  • 27
    And it doesn't seem like your bf pushes back at all, he lets them and the lifestyle control him. So the family and lifestyle are going to be part of the relationship. Do you want that? It's better to get out early, before it can hurt...
    via u/GentlewomenNeverTell
  • 28
    sassassinX This is amazingly wise advice that should be strongly considered. Painful in the short run, peaceful in the long.
    via u/sassassinX
  • 29
    Toobendy I agree. One thing to add - If you view this relationship as potentially long-term, I recommend finding a highly recommended couples counselor to help you both navigate this situation. You will emerge stronger as a couple with the guidance of the right counselor.
    via u/Toobendy
  • 30
    My in-laws caused severe fractures in my marriage for different reasons, but it was also about control issues. My husband and I did not pursue counseling until years later, but the damage was already done.
    via u/Toobendy
  • 31
    Guilty-Tie164 Curious if his mom married into the money or she came from a wealthy family herself.
    via u/Guilty-Tie164

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boyfriend relationship advice family drama toxic Female Empowerment relationships parenting girlfriend love family red flag toxic relationship healthy relationship dating
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