"You're the pregnant one, not me": Gamer misses important ultrasound to reveal baby's gender to host online gaming tournament, wife refuses to let him pick baby's name

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 12, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Listen, I am far from being a real gamer, but I do enjoy playing Animal Crossing whenever I get the chance. I am not afraid to admit that I have cancelled plans to go out with friends just so I can sit at home, snug as a bug in a rug, with my Nintendo Switch, shaking trees, catching bugs, and selling fish on my little virtual island. I am an introvert, and my friends know that, so they don't mind if I back out of a girls' night every once in a while. However, there are plenty of situations where gaming is certainly not a good enough excuse to miss an event.

In our story today, a young, soon-to-be dad prioritizes gaming over his own child when he misses an important ultrasound appointment. His pregnant wife had to find out the gender of their baby all by herself, and in relatiation, she decided that he would have to find out the name of the baby own his own as well. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to let my husband choose out baby's name after he skipped the ultrasound appointment to play video games? Image Labels

    19-05-10-161844 SA RADIOLOGY MI 1.3 5/10/2009 TIN 1.2 5:12:35 PM
    via Chris Ryan from Photo Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    My husband and I are expecting our first child together, and while I thought we'd be equally involved, it hasn't turned out that way. He rarely goes to my doctor's
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 03
    appointments, often saying he's too busy, but his reasons are usually things like meeting friends or gaming sessions. He always brushes it off with comments like,
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 04
    "You're the pregnant one, not me, what difference does it make if I'm there?" The only thing he's cared about for the baby is buying stuff like this, that's the only time I saw him involved.
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 05
    W FASHIONS AW Fashions Visit the Store 4.8 (957) AW Fashions Player 3 Has Entered The Game Baby Bodysuit Newborn Boy Cute Romper Girl Clothes Romper PLAYER 3 HAS ENTERED THE GAME
    via AW Fashions | Amazon

  • She is dating a man-child. The fact that the only contribution he has made towards being a father is finding clothes based off of his interests is incredibly telling.

  • 06
    Last week, we had an important ultrasound appointment. It was a big deal because we were finding out the gender and had
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 07
    planned to start seriously discussing names afterward. At the last minute, my husband texted saying he wouldn't be coming
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 08
    because his friends had set up an "important gaming tournament" online. I was upset, but didn't argue about it. I ended up going alone.
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10527575296
    via 7postman from Getty Images Signature

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    Afterward, he kept messaging, asking for the gender results. I was so annoyed I ignored him, and when I got home, I told him that since he didn't bother to show up, I'd be
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 11
    picking our baby's name alone, and he could wait until birth to find out. He flipped out, calling me controlling and childish, saying
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 12
    I'm unfairly punishing him and that he has an equal right to decide his child's name. I told him if he wanted equal rights, he should've prioritized the appointment over gaming.
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10527575552
    via RDNE Stock project from Pexels

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    He's now telling everyone I'm using our child to manipulate him, and his family is bombarding me with texts about how I'm going too far and acting spiteful. Even my
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 15
    mom suggested maybe I overreacted by completely cutting him out of naming the baby, and now I'm wondering if maybe I'm the one being unreasonable.
    via u/LamineLamal
  • 16
    SafeWord9999 Let his family know that when he starts acting like a father, you'll treat him as one
    via u/SafeWord9999
  • 17
    Corfiz74 He said he didn't have to come to the appointments, because he isn't the
    via u/Corfiz74
  • 18
    pregnant one - by that logic, he also doesn't have to choose the child's name, because he isn't the one giving birth to it.
    via u/Corfiz74
  • 19
    FinnFinnFinnegan Why are you having a child with a man that doesn't care about you? He won't get better when the baby is born.
    via u/FinnFinnFinnegan
  • 20
    Cheezburger Image 10527575808
    via Alena Ozerova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 21
    Corfiz74 Yeah, get ready to become a married single parent - he sounds not adult enough to have a child.
    via u/Corfiz74
  • 22
    NTA Odd-End-1405 Good job showing your spine. You also have plenty of time to prepare.
    via u/Odd-End-1405
  • 23
    You are going to be a single parent married to a man child that runs to mommy and company when he doesn't get his own way.
    via u/Odd-End-1405
  • 24
    Prepare to be pretty much on your own post partum. Build your own support network to come and help and start planning your schedule for when you return to work.
    via u/Odd-End-1405
  • 25
    Not advocating leaving or anything, just telling you to prepare. He is going to be utterly worthless in taking care of your child and you so you will need to be set up for your own sake.
    via u/Odd-End-1405

  • Above is incredibly solid advice. Whether or not our protagonist chooses to stay or leave this manchild, she must prepare to be the only one actually doing any parenting. 

  • 26
    As for the naming and gender. Tell him. Too bad, so sad. You missed out on finding out early. You and your family will find out when they are born. Period. No manipulation, just fact.
    via u/Odd-End-1405
  • 27
    ForLark He is too childish to be a father and you should screenshot and forward texts to his family that prove that.
    via u/ForLark

Tags

Babies marriage baby pregnancy married with children wife gamers relationships husband couples divorce love pregnant video games red flag
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