52-year-old grandmother spends $1000 on brand new school supplies for granddaughter, her dad complains that the money didn't go towards helping him pay child support instead: "[It's] his responsibility"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 13, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

There are genuinely very few things about school that I miss. I hated being forced to sit all day and learn things I didn't really care too much about. I wasn't a very sporty kid, so I heavily resented the fact that the time alloted to actually having fun usually involved teamwork and hand-eye coordination. Despite my misgivings, I did always look forward to going back to school during the summer. This was, in part, due to the hype surrounding back-to-school shopping. I always tried to convince my parents that I needed the largest pack of crayons and the most uniquely shaped erasers possible.

In our story today, a generous and loving grandma takes her 11-year-old granddaughter back-to-school shopping for all over scholarly necessities. Our protagonist ends up spending around a grand to make sure that her little angel has everything she needs. Instead of being grateful, the girl's dad all but throws a tantrum when he finds out that the money didn't go towards the child support that he is responsible for. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for buying my granddaughter school supplies instead of paying towards my stepson's back child support?

    Cheezburger Image 10528224256
    via Yan Krukau from Pexels

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  • 02
    I've (52f) married to my husband for 8 years. We both have adult children from previous relationships.
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
  • 03
    My stepson is 31 is sort of shiftless in employment. He works sometimes, works for cash, works out of state on temporary jobs, etc. He's has never worked a regular, steady job.
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
  • 04
    He generally does odd jobs until he falls behind in all his bills. Then he takes a temporary job (usually construction, out of state). He'll hire on with a crew remodeling
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
  • 05
    Walmarts or doing a 'plant turnaround' (don't ask because I have no idea what that means) and make like $2500/
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  • 06
    week but the job only lasts 4-6 weeks. He gets caught up on bills and goes back to doing odd jobs until he falls behind again.
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10528225024
    via welcomia

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  • 08
    He has an 11 year old that he sees sometimes, depending on his work schedule.
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
  • 09
    He's $2000 behind in child support and paying enough every month to keep it from getting turned over to enforcement.
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
  • 10
    My granddaughter called me and asked me to buy her school stuff. I took her shopping and got her clothes, shoes, school jacket, PE
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
  • 11
    uniform and supplies. My stepson was cleaning the pool (we pay him) when we got home and helped us unload the stuff from my car.
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
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    Cheezburger Image 10528224768
    via Africa images

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  • 13
    After her mom picked her up, he approached me and asked how much I spent. I didn't keep track, so I didn't know
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  • 14
    right off. He was annoyed and said it had to be close to $1,000 which is half of what he owes in back child support.
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
  • 15
    My stepson thinks I'm an AH because I didn't pay the money towards his back child support and let her mom take her shopping. 'because that's what child support is for.'
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
  • 16
    My husband has no opinion about it. I think his child support is his responsibility and if I want to buy my granddaughter nicer things than her parents can afford that's got
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
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    nothing to do with him owning her basic support. Her mom appreciates that I buy things she can't afford to provide. She's
    via u/Worried-Light-2851
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    used to the way he pays support, knows she can't count on it for monthly expenses but also knows she'll eventually get it and uses it for big, once in a while expenses (like new tires for her car).
    via u/Worried-Light-2851

  • What a selfish man. He should be grateful that our protagonist covered her school supplies so that the child support that he – not his stepmom – owes can cover other necessities. 

  • 19
    2dogslife Wanna bet that the minute his kid no longer has mandated CS, stepson gets a FT job?
    via u/2dogslife
  • 20
    His bad behavior and choices are not on you. Part of being an adult is paying your debts. You did something nice for his kid, the only words out of his mouth should have been, "Thank you."
    via u/2dogslife
  • 21
    - CupcakeWhirl_0101 NTA Child support is a parent's responsibility, not a grandparent's. Your money, your choice.
    via u/CupcakeWhirl_0101

  • Is the girl not allowed to receive any gifts from grandma because it would be better for her to pay for his child support? 

  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10528225280
    via Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    LinaBean28 So he would rather you give that money to help him pay off his own debt, rather then that money actually go to the primary parent
    via u/LinaBean28
  • 24
    whos footing the costs of practically everything??? Sounds like a deadbeat to me. I think we can all agree you are not the a hole here.
    via u/LinaBean28
  • 25
    Heres the thing, he could easily have that paid off in 2 weeks doing one of those temporary jobs that pays $2500 a week. But
    via u/LinaBean28
  • 26
    he doesnt. Why is that? Because hes a deadbeat. You arent responsible to clean up his mess. Hes just mad because you are making him look bad in comparison.
    via u/LinaBean28
  • 27
    shyfidelity NTA. The shopping trip was a gift for your granddaughter. Your stepson is massively entitled.
    via u/shyfidelity

Tags

family drama marriage married with children stepmom grandma family feud relationships parenting child support divorce love entitled family raising kids entitled people
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