60-year-old mom pressures 25-year-old daughter to keep living at home indefinitely because she thinks renting is a waste of money: 'My 32 and 35-year-old siblings have rented'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 11, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

For most young adults, living at their parents' house is cheaper than renting. Even if their parents are charging them a couple of hundred bucks a month in rent, that's not comparable to a $2000 one-bedroom apartment in price. While it's financially beneficial to live with your parents, there are certain costs. Living in your childhood bedroom can make you feel like you're still a child, and your parents might treat you as such. It's challenging to have a thriving love life if you still live with your parents. If you're responsible for caring for your parents as they age, that will also make it harder to have any social life. I'm not going to knock the people who live with their parents until they're 30, saving up for a down payment on a house. They'll probably have a house before I do, but I value my freedom in my 20s over buying a home as soon as possible. 

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  • 01

    Is renting really a waste of money?

    I (25F) am trying to see if I can move out of my parents' house. My mother (60) is pretty much trying to prevent me from moving out by saying I can save more money (I have enough money) to move out and saying how I can buy a house so I can actually decorate it the way I want. She then said how renting
    via u/UmbralikesOwls
  • 02
    shouldn't really be an option since it's a waste of money compared to paying for a mortgage. In her words she says if you bought a house, you're actually putting your money towards something instead of just throwing it away kn rent.
    via u/UmbralikesOwls

  • The mom in this story is unwilling to let her 25-year-old daughter spread her wings and fly. She wants her to stay home so she can save up for a house, even though her daughter can easily afford to move out and live on her own. Her daughter doesn't know which path to take.

  • 03
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    via Jp Valery

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    What annoys me is that my two older siblings (35M & 32F) have rented. My sister rented for 10ish years before getting a house and my brother still pays rent...so why am I any different? I feel my mom really is trying to prevent me from moving out because when I shoe her houses I do like, she goes to find something wrong with it and convinces me not to go even check it out in person. She's
    via u/UmbralikesOwls
  • 05
    talking about redoing the basement so it's my own little apartment and wouldn't listen when I say I didn't really want to do that. She just told me to think about it.
    via u/UmbralikesOwls
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    Cheezburger Image 10528381696
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    She's even asked me why I even want to move out and asked if it's because of her. I also suspect she just wants me to stay home so I can help take care of my dad (63) who's having some...memory problems. But it's still frustrating.
    via u/UmbralikesOwls
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10528391168
    via Tessa Rampersad

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    Is rent really a waste of money? I might or might not live with a friend to help split the rent (we haven't talked much of it except for a short conversation on Sunday when we agreed that's something we could potentially do) but ik I'll just be told the same thing again and I'll feel bad and anxious about it.
    via u/UmbralikesOwls
  • 10
    WorldlinessLow8824 You can't put a price on independence- which is what getting your own apartment and taking care of yourself provides. Unfortunately, I think you're probably right. She's scared of you leaving because she feels like she needs help. I don't know if there's something you can come up with to help her feel supported without you there. As mothers, we have to realize that it's not our kids job or responsibility to take care of us as we age. It's nice if they provide some level of sup
    via u/WorldlinessLow8824
  • 11
    Forsaken-Season-1538 As a youngest child who had to move back in with my parents for a while to save up for a house, I feel like there are probably a few things happening here.
    via u/Forsaken-Season-1538
  • 12
    1. you are the youngest (no matter what parents say, they worry more about the youngest being entirely on their own than they worry about their older kids being on their own at least initially. I was way more worried about my youngest going away to college than I was my oldest too. It's natural instinct because the youngest has always had someone else looking out for them whether it be a parent or an older sibling and subconsciously we have a hard time not worrying about that - shout out to my t
    via u/Forsaken-Season-1538
  • 13
    2. the current economy. Things are more expensive (renting, groceries, etc) than they were a few years ago & the cost of living is still expected to rise even further this year. I've already told my kids they can come grab anything they want or need from my garden, pantry, fridge, or freezer anytime and they don't even need to tell me.
    via u/Forsaken-Season-1538
  • 14
    3. your dad's memory problems; dementia, Alzheimer's, and Parkinsons run in my family, among other things. I've seen a wide variety of reactions to how those diseases progress from hallucinations to aphasia to violent outbursts. I personally wouldn't recommend anyone try to care for someone with any of those conditions entirely on their own long term. Admittedly, this is still not a reason for you to stay at home if you're ready to move out but it is likely a contributing concern weighing on her
    via u/Forsaken-Season-1538
  • 15
    4. It can actually be very worth it to buy instead of rent depending on where you live and what house you buy. I moved back in with my parents while I saved for a house because I was making less than $24k a year at the time and my rent was $800 a month and I couldn't afford it on my own with my car payments. (Again, this was several years back; rent is much more expensive now in a little of places.) I saved up so that I could put enough of a down-payment down to get my monthly mortgage under $45
    via u/Forsaken-Season-1538
  • 16
    bankruptcy and not been able to help my eldest pay for college. Your mortgage payments are determined by the duration or your loan & how much money you put down on your down- payment so saving up as much as you can ahead of time is very worthwhile in the long term. (One if my elder sisters and her husband didn't save up as much as I did ahead of time and I believe they pay around $1,200 a month for their mortgage. My eldest sister saved up enough to that she was able to buy her house with cash o
    via u/Forsaken-Season-1538
  • 17
    Whether moving out now or staying and saving up a while longer is right for you or not isn't really something we can answer. There are pros and cons for both (my elder sister who has the high monthly mortgage payment and my mother butted heads all the time so it was very worth it for her whereas saving up was a better option for me since I don't butt heads with our mother lol), but ultimately it's going to come down to what you feel is best for you financially, mentally, and emotionally. Maybe t
    via u/Forsaken-Season-1538
  • 18
    My advice? Write out a list of pros and cons for both options (possibly even ask your mother about her concerns to see if she's thought of something you haven't yet), then highlight the ones you're certain you can live with & the ones that you're certain you can't live with. (There will be some unhighlighted & that's perfectly normal. If you have them all highlighted then you don't have a full list.) Star or Mark the ones that are high priority concerns. (Housing Cost? Star/Mark it. Highly Emoti
    via u/Forsaken-Season-1538
  • 19
    Flippin-doo-da A colleague of mine can afford a house but chooses to rent an apartment... why? She doesn't have to deal with maintaining it. She's so busy, she'd rather rent and have someone else deal with repairs and maintenance... and the costs of those things.
    via u/Flippin-doo-da
  • 20
    Wild_Ad_312 She is right to a degree BUT you are only 25 - do you want to plant roots and be tied down before you figure out where and what you want to do in life?
    via u/Wild_Ad_312
  • 21
    Alaska Tech1 I don't understand this mentality. Renting is not a waste of money; it buys you a roof over your head each month. That's like saying buying a car is a waste of money because you could just walk everywhere instead. (Of course it would take you 4 hours to get to work if you walked.) And how about that cell phone? You never pay off the monthly bill, so just go without it, then you'll save money. Owning a home is very
    via u/AlaskaTech1
  • 22
    expensive, arguably more expensive than renting. You have house taxes, home insurance (that keeps going up up up) unpredictable maintenance costs, HOA fees, interest, etc. Renting also gives you the flexibility to move. It's a different way of living and for many, the only option.
    via u/AlaskaTech1
  • 23
    canthaveme I'm 36 and I wish I could live with my parents or stand living with them. It's too expensive to live and honestly multi generational him homes were normal for so so long. I think it'll bring housing prices down one day if people refuse to pay the insane rent prices
    via u/canthaveme
  • 24
    AnotherStarWarsGeek Renting most definitely is a "waste of money". However, depending on a ton of variables, owning isn't necessarily cheaper or less stressful than renting. My first place was a condo, but I *owned* it. So I kind of had the best of both worlds; I built a bit of equity while I was there, and never had to directly worry about things like mowing, snow removal, roof replacement, etc.
    via u/AnotherStarWarsGeek
  • 25
    Catzaf I would take some money you would pay for a rental and put it into a bank. Save all of your money so that you can afford to buy a house. If your father is having memory problems, you and your siblings will probably need to help your mother out. Use this time for relationship building as well as bank account building.
    via u/Catzaf

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family dynamics family drama housing brother house mother buying a house rent dad youngest sibling family renting sister daughter mom Father home
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