That’s It, I’m Haircut Shaming: 35 Styles That Made Me Gasp Out Loud

I consider myself a pretty tolerant person. Live and let live, express yourself, be your own canvas - all that. But there comes a point where self-expression becomes a threat to public safety. And these 35 haircuts? Yeah. We've reached that point.

These aren't just bad haircuts. They're war crimes with clippers. You don't accidentally end up with a reverse fade that turns into a rat tail dipped in Kool-Aid. No, these are choices. Someone sat down, looked a professional hairstylist in the eye, and said, "I want the top to scream 'military recruit' and the back to whisper 'feral raccoon.'" Or, "Give me a mullet… but with the emotional trauma of a breakup baked in."

This isn't a rogue bang or a misunderstood fringe. This is green mohawks with braided sideburns. Bowl cuts paired with villain origin stories. Hairstyles that might be communicating with the underworld. I don't know what these people were going through, but after seeing this list, my hair feels scared. And so should yours.

Author image for John Summers John Summers
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