Woman rejects fiance's honeymoon itinerary after he plans to spend 4 days with his parents right after their wedding, he takes her refusal personally: ‘[They] would ruin the vibe for me’

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 17, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

When you think about "wedding stress," your mind probably goes to conflicts over color palettes or worries over someone's plus-one showing up in jeans and a t-shirt. The real stressor when it comes to weddings is how these events that are supposed to be celebrating you and your partner turn into everyone's vacation plan or opportunity for a family reunion. 

I was literally just at a wedding a few days ago where the bride's MIL invited half of the extended family. The thing is, to her half of the fam, this was a destination wedding. So, what was supposed to be a romantic celebration of love ended up feeling like a cruise ship itinerary with mandatory group dinners and guided tours with near-strangers.

Below, you'll find that today's bride finds herself in a similar situation. She's made the mistake of letting her soon-to-be husband be in charge of the honeymoon itinerary, and he's penciled in a ton of family time instead of one-on-one time. She's not thrilled at the idea of babysitting distant cousins over basking in newlywed bliss, but he wants to take full advantage of  being in the same city as his family. Even internet commenters can't agree on who is in the wrong here. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to stay at my fiance's parents house for 4 days after our wedding

    Woman holding face in hands, stressed, children jumping on bed in the background
    via PIKSEL

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 02
    I'm getting married to my fiance at the end of December. We're going to be having two events, the first one in my parent's city
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 03
    where most of my family is, and the second one in his parent's city where most of his family is.
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 04
    After some brainstorming, the two of us decided on our honeymoon destination.
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 05
    Couple holding hands by a pool
    via Kaspars Grinvalds

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 06
    Today, as we were meeting for lunch, my fiance, who was handling the honeymoon logistics told me the itinerary. I noticed that there were 4 days
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 07
    between the event in his parent's city and when we leave for our honeymoon. When I asked, he said that yeah, won't we be
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 08
    staying for a bit at his parents. I asked why, he said since we won't get to see his parents and relatives that often this was a
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 09
    good opportunity. I was like why use our wedding, something we're planning on doing once, for this. Also, those 4 days were
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 10
    coming at the expense of possible honeymoon days. He mentioned that some of his relatives coming from other
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 11
    places would also be staying at his parents house, we might never see a lot of them ever. To me that just made it worse, to have to spend 4 days right after
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 12
    the wedding at his parents house, full of his relatives including children. I became a bit
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 13
    angry and said this was ridiculous, please change the honeymoon itinerary to the day after our wedding.
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 14
    Stressed woman on laptop, young girl behind her holding a ball
    via studio roman

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 15
    He was reacting as if I was being ridiculous, that he'd taken so much care in setting up the itinerary and he seemed hurt that
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 16
    I was dismissing it. I said I appreciated how he'd been handling everything but those 4 days would ruin the vibe for me so please do this for me. He said
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 17
    there's still a lot of time, that the changes could be made once but not again and again, so lets wait and see if we feel the same way later. I agreed but said I was
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386
  • 18
    100% sure my feelings wouldn't change, which he didn't appreciate. We're ok, and we're not discussing that right now but i wanted to know AITA?
    via u/Ok-Negotiations8386

  • Mr. Man is putting his family before his soon-to-be wife. If he doesn't learn to at least compromise now or involve her in his plans, he never will.

  • 19
    Brashear99 Who the f wants to spend their honeymoon at their parents house with a bunch of relatives?
    via u/Brashear99
  • 20
    That is the most unromantic situation you could possibly come up with. Absolutely ridiculous.
    via u/Brashear99
  • 21
    Fun-Wafer-3561 It's not a honeymoon. It's a 5- day wedding that one of the spouses didn't agree to.
    via u/Fun-Wafer-3561
  • 22
    MerezSays People who love and get along with their family, that's who.
    via u/MerezSays
  • 23
    Family holding hands on the beach
    via JillWellington from pixabay

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 24
    I'm not saying your TA here, but I do think you're making a mistake. Time spent with his family is a means of being included- and could have a
    via u/MerezSays
  • 25
    substantial part in your growing relationship with his in a positive way. And if four days with family members can ruin your
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  • 26
    honeymoon, well... Let's just say you may have bigger problems down the line than whether or not you spent time with his family after you got married.
    via u/MerezSays

  • It honestly doesn't sound like an insane idea to me, it's just messed up that he didn't ask her first. It's definitely not something everyone would want to do!

  • 27
    nom-d-pixel He can spend the days leading up to the wedding with his family. Or he could have ASKED OP if she would be willing to spend two nights
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  • 28
    together at a hotel in town so he could go to his parents and see relatives for a while during the day. Instead, he decided that she had to spend a huge
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  • 29
    chunk of their honeymoon in his childhood bedroom surrounded by his relatives. The boy needs to grow up before she marries him.
    via u/nom-d-pixel
  • 30
    Reliant20 NTA. Four days in a house with extended family between the wedding and the honeymoon. would, as you say, ruin the vibe. A lot of people would feel that way - you're not weird.
    via u/Reliant20
  • 31
    Esh Octo_Pi Him for planning that without discussion. You for acting like his family and related children are the plague. I assume he has good relationships with his fam and was excited about getting to spend some time with people that are important to him. Especially since he doesn't see them often.
    via u/Octo_Pi
  • 32
    It was wrong for him to make a unilateral decision that cuts into honeymoon time without a conversation, but your attitude about it just stinks. This obviously means something to him and while a magical wedding/ honeymoon is rad, family doesn't
    via u/Octo_Pi
  • 33
    live forever. If you can afford two weddings and a honeymoon you can afford to take another vacation for just the two of you later. Maybe try a compromise where you spend 1-2 extra days visiting and not 4. You gotta give a little too.
    via u/Octo_Pi

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family drama marriage honeymoon wife married life relationships parenting husband wedding mother in law love family red flag Reddit
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