Parents demand that 22-year-old daughter pay over $1,000 in rent and utilities in their apartment abroad while 26-year-old golden child brother lives rent free, they lash out when she threatens to move: 'They called me ungrateful'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 17, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Family is supposed to be synonymous with unconditional love and support, but some parents literally see their kids as walking, talking 401k plans or future caretakers. They don't want their kids to succeed so that their son or daughter will have a nice life; they just want to secure a cushy retirement for themselves. 

I've literally seen this happen up close. A friend of mine was still being charged "rent" to live in her childhood bedroom — the same one with the glow-in-the-dark stars still stuck to the ceiling and a massive Doctor Who poster dominating the wall above her bed. She paid on time every month, and her parents still had the audacity to tell her she was "lucky" to have a roof over her head. 

Today, we examine a similar case with a woman being forced to pay rent to her parents while living in their home abroad. Worst part is that her older, more successful brother is her roommate, and he lives there rent free. When mom and dad crank up the rent after catching wind of her increased paycheck, she decides enough is enough, but her parents don't take kindly to losing their cash cow. 

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  • 01

    My parents are forcing me to pay more than €1,000 a month (rent + utilities). When I said I'm moving out, they lashed out and called me ungrateful.

    Stressed woman holding her face and staring at money and financial documents
    via globalmoments from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 02
    Hi Reddit, I'm a 22F living abroad with my boyfriend (22M) and my brother (26M) in a house my parents bought a few years ago.
    via u/OkDetective6493
  • 03
    Three years ago, my parents refused to pay for my college in a different city and forced me to
    via u/OkDetective6493
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    stay at home. So instead, I did a three-year apprenticeship at a company, earning roughly €800- 950 a month.
    via u/OkDetective6493
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    Man and women looking stressed, holding their faces and staring at financial documents and a calculator
    via shisuka

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 06
    During that time, my boyfriend, still a student, and I paid for all utilities (around €400-500/
    via u/OkDetective6493
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    month). The house is very old and has no heating system, so in winter we have to burn wood.
    via u/OkDetective6493
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    There have been a lot of issues that we've had to fix ourselves and pay for out of pocket - like redoing the floor and plumbing — which cost quite a lot.
    via u/OkDetective6493
  • 09
    On top of the utilities, my boyfriend has to pay my parents €250/month for rent. My brother, however, doesn't pay anything,
    via u/OkDetective6493
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    even though he earns more than my boyfriend and I combined. - Why? I have no idea — maybe favoritism.
    via u/OkDetective6493

  • MAYBE favoritism? Girl, it couldn't be more obvious that you are the scapegoat. Get out of there fast. Seriously, consider this a blessing.

  • 11
    Lazy man on a couch and a remote control in hand
    via lukas_zb

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 12
    The reason we stayed was because it's nearly impossible for my boyfriend and me to rent a place without a fixed income
    via u/OkDetective6493
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    here. The places we could afford were either too far from his university or my workplace, so we decided to stay put until we both had stable incomes.
    via u/OkDetective6493
  • 14
    Last month, I finished my apprenticeship and started working, which means I now earn
    via u/OkDetective6493
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    much more. My boyfriend also landed a well-paid internship, so our finances finally felt a bit more comfortable.
    via u/OkDetective6493
  • 16
    When my parents heard the news, they immediately demanded that we start paying - €900 in rent, plus utilities –
    via u/OkDetective6493
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    about €1,300/month total. They also expect us to keep fixing up the worn-out parts of the house. If we refuse, they said they'll throw us out.
    via u/OkDetective6493
  • 18
    I calculated everything and decided it's not worth paying that much for a place with so many problems, so I told them I was going to move out.
    via u/OkDetective6493
  • 19
    Hands exchanging money
    via Kaboompics.com from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 20
    My parents flipped. They called me names, said I was ungrateful, and told me they had "invested so much" in my education and that it's my duty to repay them.
    via u/OkDetective6493
  • 21
    According to them, I'm choosing to give my money to strangers instead of my own parents. Am I in the wrong here?
    via u/OkDetective6493
  • 22
    brendallazk82 It's wild how "family" can be the first to pull moves you'd never accept from a landlord or
    via u/brendallazk82
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    roommate. The double standard with your brother makes it even clearer this isn't about fairness, it's about control. Once you're
    via u/brendallazk82
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    out, they'll either realize the rent stream's gone or double down, but either way you'll have your peace. Freedom > cheap rent with strings
    via u/brendallazk82
  • 25
    PuffleNibbbbs Exactly OP, that's not "family help," that's straight up exploitation with a side of guilt tripping. They're not investing in
    via u/PuffleNibbbbs
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    you they're draining you. Move out, keep your money, and let them figure out how to fund their own worn out pipes.
    via u/PuffleNibbbbs
  • 27
    magicmuggle12 What bit of your parents argument actually sounds convincing to you (cos spoiler alert, the answer is none).
    via u/magicmuggle12

  • None of it is convincing of course, but she has been manipulated by them all of her life! It's hard to cut those cords. 

  • 28
    MamaFrijoles I'd just be blunt with the parents and say "we can no longer afford to live here considering the rent increase. I recommend
    via u/MamaFrijoles
  • 29
    you put out advertisements to fill our spot" and say nothing more. they seem like the type to argue just for the sake of arguing
    via u/MamaFrijoles

Tags

family drama landlord entitled parents brother sibling rivalry siblings favoritism parenting family sister Reddit money Parenting Fail parents apartment
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