Business employees get petty revenge on 6 phone reps who won't stop calling them: 'I explained that we didn't have 500 mobile [phone] accounts'

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    Man in a yellow duck costume next to a businessman in black suit and tie
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    For the past few years our business has been receiving telemarketing calls from an offshore call center trying to make appointments for "Optus Business Centre". Every time they call, we'd politely tell them we were not interested and to remove us from their list and they'd promise not to call again.
  • 03
    You can probably tell by my use of the words "every time" that having ourselves removed from the list didn't work. It didn't work the first time, and it didn't work the 50th time. Offshore are cheap, and get paid per appointment. So they would get quite aggressive. It was clear that a new strategy needed to be found as it was taking too long to off. get them to
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    So began my campaign of malicious compliance/petty revenge... "Hi we're calling from Optus business centre and we can save you 40% on your mobile phone bill! Can we come and see you tomorrow at 11am?"
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    You can save me 40% of my mobile bill? That's like sixty Grand a month! "What? How many phones do you have?" 150 or so that I'm responsible for directly, plus a few others..
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    The appointment is quickly confirmed. The next day a salesman calls me up he's running early - can we meet earlier. I refused. Our appointment is for 11am after all.
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    11am rolls around and in he walks - we sit down in reception and go through the greetings. I then ask him if it's possible to make the telemarketing calls stop now. He assures me that it is, and so I stand up, shake his hand and thank him for coming in.
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    What? That's it? You could have said that over the phone! I point out that we did. Many times, and it didn't work - and I hoped that this waste of his time (45 min trip from Homebush to Sydney) would perhaps teach him to mend his ways.
  • 09
    Over the past 2 years they have sent out 5 different reps to see us. They call for meetings - we accept them, shine them on about the value of the account and they roll in to be greeted by me dressed in a chicken suit; made to wait in our meeting room for 20 minutes before being asked to be removed from the list; being turned away at the door (they sent two reps that time).
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    I'm posting this today because it was visit number 6 and it was the best yet. We got a repeat customer! I sat him down in the meeting room and played the video recording of our last meeting :)
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    Is that you ? Yes! It's me! Didn't I follow up? Did we have a good Meeting? I point out that I certainly enjoyed our last meeting, and zoomed forward in the video to the part where I explained that we didn't have 500 mobile accounts - and he needed to please remove us from their list and you could see his heart break. Which it did again, once he realised that whatever account he thought
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    was being discussed today was not going to be discussed. Which we also have on video, so we can go all inception if/when he shows his face again.
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    Edit: https://pasteboard.co/ICnJFPn.jp g Here's me in the chicken suit prepping for the meeting apparently hugged to death, try this: https://imgur.com/kKsHycQ
  • 14

    Just look at this costume!

    Person in office wearing yellow duck costume
  • 15
    Edit2: Yes, it's a duck costume not a chicken suit. But we've called it the chicken suit in our office for years now, so forgive the fowl language error.

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