Entitled couple hosts barbecue for 20+ people, leaves guest to cook alone for everyone because they're "scared of the grill", pushing his wife to insist they leave immediately: 'They were taking advantage of him'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 25, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Ever thought what it would be like to bake your own birthday cake? I hope you haven't…However, I have an inkling it would be something similar to this: Picture being invited to a friend's barbecue with your wife and children, you arrive, and within a matter of minutes the hosts ask if you wouldn't mind helping out with the grill, and suddenly they're dispersed within the social crowd and you've been left to cook for everyone…The guest has turned into the chef (just minus the paycheck)!

And when your wife catches on to how this whole afternoon is playing out, left looking after the kids alone, she is furious, demanding you walk straight out the front door…Whether or not the hosts aren't the most 'phenomenal' cooks, doesn't mean they can just expect their guests to take on that responsibility. Especially while they sit with they're legs up, cracking jokes whilst enjoying the afternoon sun. I mean, at that point, they might as well find an ancient Roman couch to sit on while you feed them grapes, one by one…

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  • It could be time to reassess the give-and-take ratio of this couple's friendship…Both this husband and his wife are left feeling taken advantage of after the barbecue. They'd be more than happy to help out, but when they are the only ones doing so…that's when something doesn't sit quite right. Friendship is just like the birthday cake: if each ingredient doesn't contribute to its full ratio, it will simply flop! Because just as much as one doesn't want to bake their own cake, one does not want to be a guest who does all the work!

    The common denominator in both? Pretty average friends.

  • 01
    Friends at an afternoon barbecue
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my friend who invited me to a BBQ to his house to stop asking me to cook for everyone?

    We got invited to our friend house with our 3 kids and other parents kids to a BBQ and pool party and its been 2 times in a row once last year and this year
    via Dennis198555
  • 03
    that my friend wife (the host) is asking me (the guest) to cook all the burgers and hot dogs on the gas grill for 20+ people while her
    via Dennis198555
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    husband my friend is drinking beer and having a good time chatting to everyone else while i cook for everyone in the corner alone. When i was cooking my
    via Dennis198555
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    wife came and looked at me like ? Why are you the one cooking? We have 3 kids to look at (one having down syndrome) She was shocked and wanted to
    via Dennis198555
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    leave the place enraged. After i was done cooking i told both the husband and wife the hosts that next time i'm not doing this anymore and that i need to watch
    via Dennis198555
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    my kids too and help my wife. They were understanding and apologetic but still my wife was all pumped up and wanted to leave. I also told them why you
    via Dennis198555
  • 08
    don't cook everything BEFORE the guests arrive and leave the hot food in the oven at 100F so it stays hot? I always do that when i
    via Dennis198555
  • 09
    have a large group coming to my house i've learned that from experience. It help me enjoy my time better vs running around all
    via Dennis198555
  • 10
    Man cooking on the grill
    via rossandhelen

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    time better vs running around all the time. Anyways i felt that they were taking advantage of me and i really did not liked it. Some things to put in perspective:
    via Dennis198555
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    I have a reputation of making great food facebook stories and i am a good cook and i've cooked 1000 times on a gas grill
    via Dennis198555
  • 13
    When these 2 people come to our house i do all the work and i never ever ask them to help me on anything. When i invite i do everything.
    via Dennis198555
  • 14
    The wife told me that her husband never cook on the gas grill he did it maybe 2 times in 5 years and shes always the one
    via Dennis198555
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    using the gas grill he dosent seems to know how it work and maybe he is scared of the grill and the flames !
    via Dennis198555
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    Woman sitting across from a man
    via gettysignature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    Affectionate-Cup4882 NTA, classic story of the hosts trying to take advantage of the guests. Maybe reconsider going there again
    via Affectionate-Cup4882
  • 18
    cthulularoo YTA for not listening to your wife. You took her and your kids to your friends house then left her to tend to your three kids. Neither of you got to enjoy the event. You should have told the friends no.
    via cthulularoo
  • 19
    Embarrassed_Fan_8380 NTA! I'm with your wife- they invited you as the free cook, not as a guest
    via Embarrassed_Fan_8380
  • 20
    Sirregularguy NTA I would not have done it the first time. If you set a boundary, don't be the one to cross it. Also, eat beforehand as it sounds like you will be in for some bad food for their next party lol!
    via Sirregularguy
  • 21
    mocha_lattes_ If this guy is really your friend then why not hang out the two of you and teach him how to use the grill. Solves all your problems since it seems like he's intimidated by the grill.
    via mocha_lattes_
  • 22
    Troublesome Turnip They wanted a cook and babysitter. These people aren't your friends. NTA but don't go anymore.
    via TroublesomeTurnip
  • 23
    Hazel_Eyed_Sagacity NTA. It's seriously bad etiquette for a host to ask guests to cook. Not only that, but they were definitely taking advantage of your skills and kindness so they could have a good time at your expense. I wouldn't ever go to one of their BBQs again.
    via Hazel_Eyed_Sagacity
  • 24
    Dear_Leadership2982 I'd be tempted to just walk away from the BBQ and leave the food to burn.
    via Dear_Leadership2982

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Tags

expectations barbecue for everyone guests bad-hosts cook FAIL hosting friends wife unfair lunch socialize parenting grill bad friends leaves alone children
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