'Carol, I can't lose $20K': Entitled 53-year-old aunt throws a tantrum after discovering her 26-year-old niece is getting married where her ex-husband proposed to his mistress

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Aug 31, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

It's always amusing to see which extended family members start to weigh in with unsolicited remarks when people are planning their weddings. In every family, there is that one cousin, aunt/uncle, or grandparent who has way too many opinions regarding something that is outside of their jurisdiction. Unless you are getting married or paying for the wedding, you shouldn't be allowed to impose rules or restrictions. 

Of course, there are exceptions. For instance, if you have been asked to weigh in, you have every right to be honest (within reason). Additionally, if you are being asked to do something that makes you uncomfortable, such as giving a speech or singing a song when you don't want to do so, that's also a time when you can voice your concerns. Still, there is always a delicate way to do this. Before stirring up any trouble, it's worth asking yourself if your "concerns" are coming from a place of trying to genuinely help the entire wedding go smoothly or if you're just concerned about your own experience. 

In this instance, we have a 53-year-old aunt whose ex-husband proposed to his young mistress at the same spot where her niece is now planning to get married. Sure, that's a difficult situation, but this is the place where this woman has wanted to get married her entire life (long before her aunt's marriage fell apart). Furthermore, the betrayal occurred five years ago. Obviously, some wounds never heal, but it's not like the drama happened yesterday. Keep scrolling below to see the full story as told by the bride's mother!

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for not changing my daughter's wedding venue even though my sister's husband proposed to his 22-year-old mistress there last month?"

    White and pink flower arrangement at an outdoor wedding venue.
    via Shardayyy Photography

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We cannot help but empathize with the bride and her mother because you know the aunt is never going to let this go. The fact that this lady has chosen to frame the situation as the author choosing money over her sister's well-being is ridiculous. This woman is over 50 years old, and as we said, the divorce happened five years ago. If she is not mature enough to separate this moment from her past from her niece's big day, then she should just not go to the wedding at all. 

  • 02
    I (51F) put down a $20K non- refundable deposit on this gorgeous beachfront estate for my daughter, let's call her Amy's (26F), wedding next September. We booked it 18 months out. For context, and without revealing too much, it's THE venue in our area, and it has been Amy's dream wedding spot in all of her pinterest boards.
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 03
    Last month, my sister -- let's call her Carol (53F) -- found out her cheating ex-husband -- let's call him Mark (55M) -- proposed to his coworker (28F - she was 22 when they started having an affair) who he had been having an affair with. The woman posted engagement photos from the same venue... Specifically the beautiful beach area where Amy plans to have her ceremony.
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 04
    Carol is obviously destroyed. She called me sobbing, begging me to change venues. Says she can't watch Amy get married where Mark proposed to a girl younger than his own daughter. Can't smile for photos on THAT beach.
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 05
    I feel sick for her. I do. But: $20K non-refundable deposit • Save-the-dates already sent • Amy's dreamed of this venue since high school . • Everything else is booked or 3x the price
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 06
    I told Carol I can't lose $20K and crush Amy's dreams because Mark is trash. Carol says I'm choosing money over her mental health. That I'm forcing her to relive the worst betrayal of her life for "pretty pictures."
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 07
    I also talked to Amy about it and she does not want a venue change. That it's not her fault Mark -- who has been out of all out lives for the last 5 years - - ruined that place for Carol. Carol called Amy a "spoiled brat who wouldn't understand real pain."
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 08
    Now Carol's skipping Thanksgiving. My and carol's side of the family (her daughters and to some extent, my parents) says I'm heartless. The place is cursed anyway, why should we host Amy's big day there.
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 09
    My husband's side of the family says Carol doesn't get to hijack Amy's wedding because her husband's a cheater. AITA for not switching venues?
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 10
    A woman wearing a black and white shirt giving a thumbs down gesture toward the camera.
    via Daniele La Rosa Messina

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    tosser9212. "who has been out of all out lives for the last 5 years" Carol has had five years - it is sad that the wounds are fresh and deep, but it isn't your daughter's issue to repair. NTA
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 12
    Current-Photo2857. Info: Just to be clear on the timeline here... You say Mark is the EX husband, and he "has been out of all our lives for the last 5 years"...so they divorced five years ago?
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 13
    Mark proposed just last month? Sorry Carol, but if you've been divorced for 5 years, you need to not GAF what he's doing now. Why was Carol even checking the mistress's posts?
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 14
    ScarletNotThatOne . NTA. If Carol can't bring herself to go to that spot, that's sad. But that's all it is. There's no need for you to lose your money, or for your daughter to lose the venue she wants.
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 15
    Adventurous_Fee9311. Nta Carol need therapy. She has been divorced for 5 years and can't get over it. Then she thinks she has the right to order you and your daughter to change wedding plans. Nope. Solution is easy.
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 16
    Carol is uninvited from the wedding. If my sister called my daughter those names because my daughter didn't want to cancel her wedding plan and wanted me to lose $20000 because sister can't move past a 5 year old divorce then I will never have contact with my sister again.
    via Particular-Wish-1761
  • 17
    fingernailchewer. NTA. I didn't even really need to go past "20k non-refundable DEPOSIT" in this economy, I wouldn't let $20 slide let alone 1000x that amount. NTA.
    via Particular-Wish-1761

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family drama aita wedding party AITAH family feud wedding family entitled people
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