38-year-old refuses to take off shoes at DnD host's house, host "Alex" cancels entire game night: "I overheard his wife telling the other guests... I made a huge scene"

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  • Man's legs in long white socks and white shoes in front of colorful DnD dice background
  • "Am I the As**ole for refusing to take my take my shoes off in my friend's house, causing his wife to cancel the DnD session for everyone?"

    I (38M) was invited to a DnD session with 4 other people at my friend Alex's (34M) house. When I got there, his wife answered the door and immediately asked me to take my shoes off because they have a strict no-shoes policy due to them having a crawling baby.
  • I explained that I have a medical condition called epidermolysis bullosa simplex (EBS), which makes the skin on my feet extremely fragile. Even mild friction or pressure can cause painful blisters and tears, so I have to wear supportive shoes with cushioned orthopedic insoles at all times, even indoors. Walking barefoot or just in socks causes me pain and can lead to bloding.
  • She suggested I put grocery bags or socks over my shoes, but I told her that's unsafe for walking and honestly just insulting. She said she "can't compromise her baby's health for my comfort." When Alex came to the door, he told me to "just deal with it for a couple hours" or I wasn't welcome inside. I told him I wasn't going to risk injuring myself over a DnD session, and if my shoes were that big of an issue, I'd respectfully leave.
  • As I walked back to my car, I overheard his wife telling the other guests that were already there that the night was "off" because I "made a huge scene at the door." Later, I got a group text from Alex saying he was canceling DnD night because "it's not fair to expect everyone else to pretend nothing happened."
  • Some mutual friends say I overreacted and could've just sucked it up, while others think Alex and his wife were ridiculous for ruining everyone else's plans just because I decided not to stay. So, AITA?
  • This person thinks some additional foresight was needed

    It's strange that he wouldn't have been prepared to have coverings or indoor shoes at the ready with his known medical condition. Outdoor shoes in the house is gross, especially with a crawling baby.
  • aura.bsn.rn He's the ahole
  • Multicolor DnD dice
  • brimi.xo Both sides are a h les. Who would you cancel the whole session just because one person didn't stay?
  • cmangel0221 We have an aunt who has horrible foot pain and needs shoes on. Know what she does? Has a dedicated pair of shoes for indoor only. She comes over, removes her shoes and puts on her inside shoes which haven't changed in 3
  • years and look as new as the day they came out the box. She wears them specifically when she's in people's homes. Moral of the story: don't expect others to accommodate you when it's simple to have a solution to YOUR own medical issue.
  • missouridancemom I spent a year in Norway as a teenager and when we went to dances or fancy dinners we would take our dress shoes in a bag, remove our outdoor shoes in the cloakroom
  • and put on our indoor shoes. Or, we went in stocking feet. Just take off your dirty outdoor shoes!
  • the_gaming_anthrop This seems like he didn't know about the shoe rule until he showed up. They could have given him a heads up. It's ok they have rules in their house about footwear sure, but this seems so unnecessary and kind of ableist.
  • k8tthom Canadian here. You don't even have to ask us to remove our shoes, it's the first thing we do when we enter someone's house... or even our own home.
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