'Real friends don't nickel and dime each other': Entitled woman bails on concert last-minute then uses it as an excuse to avoid paying her friend back $90 for the ticket

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 7, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

When it comes to money between friends, most people prefer to keep things casual. If you cover dinner tonight, I'll grab the next round, and it all balances out in the end. Small expenses are easy to shrug off; no one wants to be the person who Venmos their bestie for a couple of french fries. Even if things don't even out perfectly, it usually doesn't matter when we're talking about coffees or drinks. But if a friend dodges paying you back for something bigger, like $90 concert tickets, that's when it really stings.

Back in college, I was notoriously forgetful. Honestly, I still am, but back then it was way worse. I was always leaving my wallet behind and asking friends to cover for me, even though I had money sitting in my student account. Without Venmo requests, I probably would have come across as a total mooch simply because I'd forget to pay people back.

But no amount of Venmo or Zelle reminders would've helped in this case. When one woman paid for her best friend's $90 concert ticket, she did it in good faith, trusting she'd be reimbursed. Instead, her friend bailed on the concert and acted like that was a valid reason not to pay her back. To make matters worse, she managed to flip the situation around and make the narrator feel like she was out of line for even asking.

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  • 01

    AITA for asking my friend to pay me back for concert tickets after she said she "wasn't feeling it" the night of the show?

    Women at a concert holding up their hands in a heart sign
    via maxbelchenko from maxbelchenko

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    A few months ago, my close friend "L" and I made plans to go see a band we both love. The tickets were around $90 each. I was the one who bought them
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 03
    because she didn't have her card on her at the time, but she promised to pay me back the following week. I was fine with it, since we've been friends for years and I trusted her.
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 04
    A hand holding two tickets
    via Alexthq from Getty Images Pro

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Weeks went by and she never brought up the money. Every time I mentioned it casually, she brushed it off with "oh right, I'll
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 06
    get it to you soon." I let it slide because I didn't want to seem pushy, and I assumed she would get around to it before the concert.
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 07
    The night of the show came, and a few hours before we were supposed to leave, she texted me saying she wasn't "feeling up to it." She didn't offer any real
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 08
    explanation beyond that. I tried calling her to see if she was okay, but she didn't pick up. I ended up inviting another friend at the last minute so the ticket wouldn't go to waste.
    via u/AdventurousBab3

  • Did even want to go to this concert? She seems to have been pretty avoidant about the whole thing from the start. That doesn't excuse her behavior, of course.

  • 09
    People raising their hands at a concert
    via Mark Angelo Sampan from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    The next day, I asked L if she could send me the money for her ticket, since she didn't go and I was the one who had already
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 11
    paid. She got defensive and told me I was being insensitive, that she "wasn't in the right
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 12
    headspace," and that real friends don't nickel and dime each other over things like this. She made it sound like I was being selfish for even asking.
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 13
    Now she's barely talking to me and another mutual friend told me I should just let it go because "it's only $90" and I'm making a
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 14
    big deal out of nothing. But to me, it isn't about the amount, it's about her not keeping her word and then acting like I'm the bad guy for asking.
    via u/AdventurousBab3

  • Okay, so if $90 isn't a big deal, why won't she just pay it back, then? 

  • 15
    A person opening their empty wallet
    via photoschmidt from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    AITA for insisting she pay me back even though she didn't go to the concert?
    via u/AdventurousBab3
  • 17
    ΝΤΑ. Castelante "I'm not in the right headspace to be out $90. You're right, it's only $90, so you should have no trouble paying me back. It's no big deal, after all."
    via u/Castelante
  • 18
    xLaceHoney Exactly, if it's "only $90," then paying it back shouldn't be a problem.
    via u/xLaceHoney
  • 19
    oneangrywaiter 90 bucks is a lot of nickels and dimes.
    via u/oneangrywaiter
  • 20
    savvy 1099 Exactly. It's more about the principle than the money. If someone fronts cash for you, the least you can do is follow through, backing out last minute and then getting defensive isn't cool.
    via u/savvy1099
  • 21
    HoldFastO2 Yeah, this is insane. Why is "no big deal" only when OP wants her money back, but not when it's about paying it back?
    via u/HoldFastO2
  • 22
    CulturalLow4 NTA. You won't get your money back though. Take the lesson and don't make the same mistake again. If you choose to stay friends, money is collected upfront before you put a dime on your account.
    via u/CulturalLow4
  • 23
    StockAdeptness9452 NTA you bought the ticket for her with the understanding that she would pay for it. She hardly thought you were gifting her the ticket, if you were you would have expressed as much.
    via u/StockAdeptness9452
  • 24
    sarahonjyt71 Exactly! She knew it wasn't a freebie, OP just covered her upfront. It's not about nickel and diming, it's about keeping your word.
    via u/sarahonjyt71
  • 25
    AdorableEditor2071 She absolutely needs to pay you back. A real friend would tell you in plenty of time that she's changed her mind so you could resell her ticket. Not make
    via u/AdorableEditor2071
  • 26
    excuses every time you reminded her and she ghosted you. If not, she still owes you the money. I would drop her as your friend because she is not a true friend. Instead, she's a crappy friend.
    via u/AdorableEditor2071

Tags

friendship relationship advice Music best friends adulting concert friends relationships adulthood entitled red flag toxic relationship entitled people
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