Wife of 20 years threatens to divorce her husband if his elderly parents don't move out of their house, because her mother-in-law will not stop being disrespectful, insulting, and accusing her of not taking care of the family cat and dog

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Sep 9, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Pets are a line that no one is allowed to cross. We have seen friendships break over mistreatment of cats. We have seen relationships crumble because one of the partners wouldn't get along with the family cats. So, it is no surprise to us that the final straw in this story was the cat and dog of the house. You can put up with a lot, but once people start unjustifiably accusing you of mistreating your pets, that is where you put your foot down.

And it truly sounds like this woman put up with a lot and was patient for a long time, but listen… living with your mother and father-in-law for years on end without an end date would be hard for anyone, especially if they are as ungrateful as these two sound. This is a complicated situation, we will grant you that, but the solution seems quite obvious. It is just not going to be quite that simple to make happen. 

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  • 01

    "'[Am I wrong] for Telling My Husband His Parents Have To Move Out or I'll Divorce Him?"

    picture of a cat and a dog napping together
    via Unsplash / Laura Matthews - lkmatt

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My (38F) husband's (52M) parents, (78F & 80M) have been living in our home for the past four years. I was completely on board with this arrangement since they really do love the opportunity to be close to my daughter.
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  • 03
    The problem is my mother in-law. She constantly makes disrespectful comments about my shopping habits, my clothes, like wearing shorts around my house or a swimsuit in our swimming pool. I tried to ignore it, but it's become unbearable.
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  • 04
    She once questioned why my name is on the house deed since my husband earns more (we've been married 20 years). My husband overhears this conversation and told her she was being inappropriate. She was also visibly angry when we bought a Mercedes to replace my old car.
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  • 05
    I don't discuss our finances with her because it's none of her business. We don't charge them rent, we pay all the bills and their cell phones; they only help with some groceries.
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  • 06
    The final straw happened the other day. She asked if I had fed our dog and cat, which I hadn't because they are on a strict diet and feeding schedule (our cat is 17 and our dog is 7).
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  • 07
    She then started talking to her husband right in front of me, putting words in my mouth and making it sound like I put her and her husband on schedule to feed our dog and cat which isn't true. I finally snapped and told her that if they continued living with us, I would separate from my husband because living with her is driving me insane.
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  • 08
    When my husband came home, I told him his parents need to find another place to live, or we would divorce and sell the house. He agreed with me that they need to go.
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  • 09
    Here's why I might be the AH: They can't afford to rent anywhere near us since the cheapest rent in our town is around $3K. If they move to a cheaper area, they'd be over an hour and a half away.
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  • 10
    They both have hearing and eyesight issues, making that drive difficult, and moving would limit their proximity to their only grandchild. I feel terrible about that, but I can't live like this anymore. So, AITAH?
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    picture of a cat and a dog sitting next to each other
    via Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 - priscilladupreez

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Look, we understand that this is a complicated situation, but there is one real silver lining here: you and your husband are actually on the same page. That is not something that should be taken for granted, especially in situations like these. Divorce is not the right option here in our opinion, not as long as you are on the same page as to what to do. 

  • 12
    Edit: In laws does not pay for anything, theyre included in my cellphone plan too. They buy groceries and pay for their car • My husband and I have been married . • for 20 years My husband and his parents are American's (German and English) and we live in USA
    via Thin_Collection_381
  • 13
    • MIL and FIL retired in their 50's and sold their house 10 years ago to move in closer to their only grandchild. I do not know where they spent their money on, I do know they went to cruises a lot after they sold their house and then 4 years ago, they move in with us. • They did not contribute to anything to our household, my husband and I use our savings as well as the proceeds of the sale of our condo to purchased our home.
    via Thin_Collection_381
  • 14
    Update: I spoke with my husband last night, as this is taking a toll on him. He said he doesn't want to be kicking his parents out toward the end of their lives. However, I told him that I have put up with this for four years and that there are many instances where she says things and does things that have alienated me in my own house, and that words were exchanged a few times already.
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  • 15
    Four years of having to put up with his mother's behavior, and I have reached the end of my limit. I told him they have six months. I also told him that I love him, but that love doesn't mean I have to stay married if he wants to continue living with his parents. A life living in the same household with his parents is a life without me.
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  • 16
    picture of a cat and a dog outside on the grass
    via Unsplash / Andrew S - sita2

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It's good to stand on your boundaries, but we do hope that you are showing some leeway in this situation. It sounds like he's trying. And maybe our standards are just that low, but we do hope that this is something to cherish. 

  • 17
    Relevant_Mirror_4206 NTA. There can't be two queens in a hive. Perhaps they can get into some low income senior housing close to your house if you have them a little time.
    via Relevant_Mirror_4206
  • 18
    Thin_Collection_381 OP There was an issue before too which I suggested they move out, and then they said they will once their car is paid off (they drive an economy car which is 3 years old now) I'm not sure how I put up with up but I'm not waiting for another 6 months. I'm hoping they'll find a place to live in 3 months
    via Thin_Collection_381
  • 19
    Find_me_at_the_beach I say this in all seriousness, could she be at the start of dementia? I have had four family members with it? I'm not making excuses, that could explain her behavior.
    via Find_me_at_the_beach
  • 20
    Thin_Collection_381 OP I hope that's what she has, so at least there would be a reason. I can just tell from her facial expression that she was listening to my conference call while I'm in my office since I work from home. She makes this weird face and imply I'm too close to my boss.. My boss who I see once every 3 months for a team meeting.
    via Thin_Collection_381
  • 21
    She questions why my name is also on the deed when we purchased the house when my name wasn't on the mortgage so I told her, it's my house of course my name would be on the deed.
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  • 22
    I have a cousin I'm very close to, we no longer have parents, so I'm in their will as the next of kin to adopt their young kids if something were to happen to both him and his wife. They're both nurses, and I'm sure nothing will happen to them, but just in case they have a next of kin in me, she questions this relentlessly and says she doesn't believe my daughter would want to share her space with other kids... My daughter is 14, while my nieces are 5 and 7, also she's worrying about this issues
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  • 23
    Flipper_Lou The pearl in the situation is that you and your husband are on the same page. That is excellent! Your husband can take your child to go and see the grandparents an hour and a half away. They'll be able to afford it and you'll have peace.
    via Flipper_Lou

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family drama cat thread wife husband mother in law story Cats
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