20-year-old refuses to sign over property rights to older sibling until he gets his promise in writing, sparking family feud: 'I’m just asking for legal security before I give up mine'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Sep 9, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

This family member seems to be the only person who has his head on straight, and that's what seems to be frustrating everyone else. When this guy was a kid, he became the co-owner of a property with his older sibling. Once he came of age, his sibling wanted full ownership of the property, which is something the author was willing to pursue as long as he was given legal assurance regarding a promise that was made years ago. 

This story serves as yet another example of the fact that not every family member is worth trusting. Sure, no one wants to be that cynical. We all want to believe that the people who share our last names have our backs. But the truth is that in nearly every family unit, there is a loose canon, the kind of individual who thinks for themselves and who you would never want to bet on in a game of poker. 

In this instance, the author had the unfortunate experience of having their older sibling as the loose canon of the family. The problem is that the sibling seems to have convinced everyone else in the family that he was in the right, which only made the author look bad. What's remarkable to us is how folks could think of the author as the culprit of all the family drama, especially considering the fact that all he's doing at the end of the day is advocating for himself and protecting his financial future. Shouldn't that be something that the fully grown adults of the family would understand and support? Apparently not!

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  • "[Am I wrong] for refusing to sign over my half of a property until I get legal security?"

    A contract on a clipboard sits on a table next to a small figurine of a house.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Here's hoping that this author listens to the members of this online community, nearly all of whom encouraged him to stick to his instincts and to continue refusing to waver until a written agreement is signed protecting the long-promised future ownership of his parents' property.

  • I co-own a property with a sibling. They've spent years paying off debts so they could have full ownership, and now they want me to sign over my half immediately. The plan was that I would inherit another property
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  • from a parent in exchange, but the parent hasn't legally transferred it or notarized a will guaranteeing it to me.
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  • My sibling says I'm holding things up, accusing me of being greedy and threatening that I'll ruin their bank deal. My parent says I don't deserve the property, that I should be grateful for anything I get, and implies I have no right to it. I'm feeling manipulated and pressured from all sides.
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  • I'm willing to give up my share, but only once there's a legal agreement ensuring I'll receive the promised property. Until then,
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  • I want my rights protected so I'm not left with nothing and my sibling can't build or sell on my portion without compensating me.
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  • I just want fairness and security, not more than anyone else. AITA for standing my ground in the face of emotional pressure and threats?
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  • EDIT for clarity/context: Some people asked for more details because my original post was vague. Here's the full situation while still keeping some anonymity for me and my family:
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  • The property was originally gifted to me and my sibling, but it came with a big debt attached. It couldn't even be used until that debt was cleared. Over the years,
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  • my sibling managed to reduce the debt and eventually paid off the rest themselves (around €5000). Their expectation has always been that once the debt was gone, they'd get full ownership.
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  • A man wearing a blue hoodie looks down with his hand on his face in a contemplative position.
    via Unsplash+ (Guillaume Issaly)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I only found out recently that I still had legal say in the property. Up until then, I thought I'd already lost my rights because of a verbal deal made years ago.
    via Mundane_Ease613
  • Back then, I was still a minor, and the "agreement" was: sibling gets the full property, and I get our parent's house after they pass. I agreed on the condition that it was put into a will naming me as the sole inheritor. That will was never finalized, despite me asking for years.
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  • I'm now in my 20s and studying abroad in another country, so I haven't been involved with this property at all. I don't even know the exact details, only what I was told. All I know is that I was promised one thing in return for giving up another, and now that promise is shaky.
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  • When I was told last week that I had to sign over my share, I agreed only if parent officially notarized their will naming me sole inheritor of their house. That suggestion was rejected, and instead, new conditions came up:
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  • I would inherit the house, but I'd be responsible for all funeral expenses (which I agreed to). . I would not be allowed to turn away any family members who needed housing (which I do not agree to, because it means I'd carry all obligations but have no real control).
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  • I proposed a contract as a compromise: sibling keeps moving forward with their half and can even start building, while I hold my half until I actually inherit the house. To make sure sibling is protected, I suggested adding that I can't sell my half or do anything with it until then. If I
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  • don't inherit the house, sibling would buy me out at fair market value. That way neither of us gets d. S
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  • Sibling and parent see this as greedy and manipulative. They say I should just trust their word, wait possibly 30+ years, and sign away my only legal security right now so sibling can enjoy the property immediately.
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  • That's why I'm struggling. I'm not asking for more than anyone else. I'm just asking for legal security before I give up mine.
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  • Entire-Leg-5103. NTA. "Trust me bro" isn't a legal document. Get it in writing first.
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  • creative_usr_name NTA. A will in no guarantee of anything. They can write a new will the next day invalidating this one and cutting you out completely.
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  • You need to be on the deed of the property itself now, or it needs to go in an irrevocable trust. Better yet you should speak with a lawyer to figure out the best way to structure this correctly.
    via Mundane_Ease613

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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother house siblings family feud family property money
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