Woman abroad refuses to cancel a holiday trip with her best friend when her mother books a non-refundable plane ticket to visit her, all because she couldn't afford a Christmas flight home this year: ‘[She] didn’t even consult me before booking’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Sep 13, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Though flying is one of the safest and quickest forms of travel, it sure isn't the cheapest. That's why, when the woman in this next story realizes she cannot afford a pricey ticket home for Christmas to visit her mother and grandma, she refuses to make the trip. There will be more Christmases, after all. Her mother isn't thrilled to hear this, so she books a non-refundable plane ticket to visit her daughter in the spring. This just so happens to be when her daughter's trip abroad with her best friend is. NEVER book a non-refundable ticket without knowing your trip details… Just sayin'.

Holidays are important to everyone, but on the sliding scale of Christmas cheer and Scrooge-level bah-humbug, everyone decides what their priorities are. This woman and her partner are saving up to purchase a home in the country they're living in, and holiday travel is never cheap, especially when traveling internationally. It's clear that the woman's mother booked this trip out of spite, thinking that her daughter would surrender her own plans to cater to her selfish mother's… The woman knows better.

Scroll below to read the full story, including additional commentary from users under the story who know this tactic all too well.

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  • "She's now saying it's my fault I 'can't be flexible.""
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "AITA for refusing to cancel my holiday after my mom booked a non-refundable trip without asking"

    So I (f 28) and my mom (f 62) have had a somewhat rocky relationship my whole life. To give some background I moved to another country when I was 25 but my mom and stepdad always visit at least once a year since my mom is a teacher and my stepdad is retired.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • I have a serious partner (m 27) of 2 years. He is from this country and last year I spent Christmas with him and his family.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • Financially we are working hard to buy a house and paying down some debts so while I originally said I would come home this year for Christmas it doesn't seem financially doable.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • Additionally some of my partner's family lives in my home country and we would like to do a joint trip to see his family and mine.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • My mom is very upset that I'm not coming home for Christmas and keeps saying I need to come sooner rather than later because of my grandma.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • I love my grandma and do want to see her and this is part of why I feel so guilty but Christmas flights are just not affordable.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • I've promised to come in the summer when we can afford a longer trip and see both families.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • Here is where I may be the a hole. My best friend is moving to this country and we have planned a trip together in the spring for her birthday.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • boarding pass and passport preparing for non-refundable flight
    via Andrej Lišakov For Unsplash+
  • This trip means a lot to me and I'm very excited about it.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • After a heated exchange my mom and I didn't talk for about a week. During that time my mom booked a non-refundable flight to come visit.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • The problem is she booked it for the exact same time as my friend's birthday holiday.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • Now she is demanding I cancel my trip with my friend and still come home at Christmas.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • My friend and I have only booked a refundable Airbnb so far but I don't feel I should have to cancel my trip.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • Cancelling won't suddenly make Christmas flights affordable as the trip my friend and I are planning is much less expensive.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • Also my mom didn't even consult me before booking. She's now saying it's my fault I "can't be flexible."
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • So am I the ahle for not cancelling my trip with my friend to see my mom.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • TLDR: I can't afford Christmas flights so my mom booked a non-refundable trip without asking that clashes with my best friend's birthday holiday and now she's demanding I cancel my plans.
    via GiraffeTurbulent
  • thrownededawayed Non-refundable does not mean non-reschedulable, she is manipulating you. You're an adult and can choose what you want to do for the holidays or any other time of year yourself, from what you've said she is either very much wants to see you if we're giving her the benefit of the doubt, or she's trying to control how you spend your time and with whom, either way establishing some boundaries about how she feels she can take liberties with your time would not be out of line or a oli
    via thrownededawayed
  • Your an adult, you get to make your own plans and decide how to spend your own time, she doesn't get to spend a lot of money to guilt you into seeing her. As for your grandma, give her a call, explain the situation, I can. almost guarantee you gramma wants you to spend time with your friends and be happy in your youth, not worrying about coming home and entertaining her, your happiness and wellbeing should be a much higher priority for her than presenting yourself in body before her in supplicat
    via thrownededawayed
  • sorinnavae True. Parents love to weaponize the words non refundable like its some sacred contract. Its not your fault she booked a trip without even asking you.
    via sorinnavae
  • Such-Studio-7041 Also if mom is so insistent on her visiting for the holidays, have her switch her non refundable flight to a solo ticket and pay for you to visit of Christmas instead of putting the whole burden on you. Your plans don't have to change due to poor planning on your mother behalf. She should have never been so presumptuous to book a visit without consulting you first.
    via Such-Studio-7041
  • If she insists on coming in spring during your girls trip, then you go anyways. She's a grown woman, she can entertain herself while you're out of town!
    via Such-Studio-7041

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