'She's trying to alienate the boys from their father': 35-year-old stepmother makes blended household uncomfortable by fighting with ex-husband constantly, current husband steps in

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 25, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

When one is a child or teenager, it's important to grow up in an environment that feels stable and safe. Blended household or not, there's a way to be stable and safe with your children. It's about cultivating a home with love, support, consistency, stability. Without these fundamental tools in a home, kids grow up with more issues to work out in adulthood. The story here centers around a blended family, but that's not the issue. It seems that everyone is well adjusted to the situation, even with several teenage sons and daughters. Everyone except the mother. 

The woman's ex-husband cheated on her, which is a huge trauma for anyone who's been in that situation. Managing a divorce with the added pain of infidelity is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. So her hostility towards him doesn't stay contained inside of her; she lashes out and says hurtful things to her sons about him in an attempt to alienate them from their father. Needless to say, it's not doing any good for anyone. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not taking my wife's side against her ex about kids?

    Cheezburger Image 10554643200
    via Budgeron Bach from Pexels / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Im 40, wife 35. She has 2 kids, 13&11, both boys. My wife is high conflict with her ex, he cheated,
    via u/Practical_Novel_585
  • 03
    of course she isn't thrilled with the guy. However, my stepsons both love him very much, and
    via u/Practical_Novel_585
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    despite everything, he is a decent attentive dad. Goes to all sports events, takes them fishing, and
    via u/Practical_Novel_585
  • 05
    has them every week from Thursday night till Monday morning.
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  • 06
    My wife is always causing issues with him and about him. Sons talk about his new wife? She
    via u/Practical_Novel_585
  • 07
    mentions she's a homewreaker and they should ignore her. Dad wants extra day? F him. Dad
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  • 08
    wants medical info on boys? She won't share it, call the doctor. The boys are being quiet with us
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  • 09
    and seem depr sed. My daughter, 17, said oldest asked her if her mom hates me, and
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  • 10
    seemed really sad that she said we get along. I told wife this cr p needs to stop. It's hurting the
    via u/Practical_Novel_585
  • 11
    boys, and is hurting her relationship with them. She hasn't spoke to me for two days. AITAH?
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  • 12
    Vestiel NTA, but there is something seriously wrong with your wife. She's trying to alienate
    via u/Vestiel
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    the boys from their father. Remember this if you ever decide having kids together.
    via u/Vestiel
  • 14
    WhiteKnightPrimal NTA. You're not taking the ex's side, you're taking the kids' side, which is what a
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
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    good parent, or stepparent, does. The kids always come first. Talking trash about dad.
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  • 16
    and stepmum is going to harm those boys, you're already seeing it. They're pulling away from your wife,
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
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    and you by extension. They probably feel like they're being buried into hating the dad they love.
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
  • 18
    Divorce vestibulum. Sed eu ante sed risus amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Maecenas fubortis pri dolor nec orci sata bibendum a est vitae finibus. Nunc consectetur a quam a nc congue porta. enas faucibus volutpat imperdiet. Sed ipsum lorem, volutpat scelerisque commodo u id lacus pretium pretium. Vivamus mi augue, tempus nec bibendum a, commodo us molestie, ex tempus tempor tempus, areu libero feugiat urna, et mattis leo nulla p Asociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos him
    via adventtr / Canva

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  • It's unbelievable that she would be so isolating of her husband. Yes, he hurt her, but there's no reason to make her kids turn on him. They need a father whether she wants it to be him or not. She needs therapy. But props to her husband, he seems incredibly mature. 

  • 19
    Your wife is valid in having negative feelings about her cheating ex. If the wife is the AP, her feelings against her
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
  • 20
    are valid, too. But she needs to keep those feelings away from the boys or she will lose them.
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
  • 21
    She also needs to consider that her boys are 13 and 11. Their thoughts on where they want to live can be
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
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    taken into account if a judge allows it. And what she's doing counts as parental alienation, which will look
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
  • 23
    Cheezburger Image 10554643456
    via Africa images / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 24
    super bad for her in a custody hearing. What happens if the boys tell their dad what she's saying and
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
  • 25
    he decided to go for full custody? Chances are, he'll win. She'll lose her boys long before they turn 18 and simply cut her off.
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
  • 26
    You're standing up for the wellbeing of your stepsons, which shows you're a good stepparent to them. This
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal
  • 27
    isn't about the ex or his wife, it's about those innocent children who are being harmed by their own mother.
    via u/WhiteKnightPrimal

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