'[He] decided to end our marriage over text': Ex-husband who abandoned his family suddenly comes back, demanding to separate their bonded pair cats so he could have one, threatening to go to court if his wife refuses

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Sep 28, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

All this time, as we have been covering these stories, we thought that abandoning your cat was one of the worst things that you could do. We believed that. The cats are bonded to you, they are dependent on you, if you have ever left a cat for a long time while you went on vacation, then you know just how much they miss you when you're gone. To abandon your cat is to abandon a family member just like any other, and we didn't think that it could get much worse than that. 

But apparently, it can. This soon-to-be ex-husband abandoned not only his cat but also wife. That's bad enough, of course, except now, he has come back, demanding to break up the family's bonded pair cats who are littermates who grew up together - so that he could have one of them back. He never took care of them, abandoned them, and now, he has the gall to threaten to involve lawyers if his wife doesn't give one of them up.

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for not letting my soon to be ex-husband take one of our cats"

    picture of two kittens cuddling
    via Unsplash / Sigmund - sigmund

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I am going through a divorce, across the country from my ex who moved out very suddenly to figure himself out and then just decided he was done with it all and decided to end our marriage over text.
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 03
    We have 2 cats that were found in my parents yard and I brought home when we were still dating. We each have a closer bond with one of the cats than the other, but I love them both and just got a large tattoo of them.
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 04
    They're the only "kids" I have or want. Here's where the issue comes up, when he left he said he wouldn't take them from me, but he now is asking for the one he is bonded to. I told him unequivocally no. Because
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 05
    1. He abandoned me and them months ago 2. He shouldn't split them up. They are litter mates and have never lived apart from each other
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 06
    3. Taking her across the country in a move would be stressful for no reason. 4. I have always been the one to take them to the vet, get their shots etc.
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 07
    He has said he is going to hire a lawyer to fight me for this cat. I dont think he has any ground tl stand on legally here, but it is stressing me out and these cats are the only "family" I have in the state I live in now, I dont want one of them taken from me when this wasn't even my choice or decision in the first place.
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 08
    Before anyone asks, I honestly dont have much context to give about why he left me. He has essentially said he just doesnt love me anymore and had no desire to work on it. Its an odd situation, and this is making it feel very nasty. Should I let him take her to keep peace, or stand my ground and keep her with me?
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 09
    picture of a kitten cleaning a cat
    via Unsplash / Sigmund - sigmund

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The gall that this man has is… honestly shocking to us. And it feels like he's doing it just to be awful in one more way. Knowing that they are littermates who grew up together and need each other should already stop him from doing what he's doing, but it's not. And that's just one more reason why he should not have them. 

  • 10
    Better-Turnover2783 Two kittens you found in your parents yard way back when, they're yours. When he comes to get his stuff you shouldn't even have them there. Have them stay with a friend he doesn't know so he can't pull any tricks or one. Since you don't know what's going on in his head, protect yourself by having someone there with you also after your fur babies are securely away. NTA
    via Better-Turnover2783
  • 11
    MaleficentDrink2535 OP Thank you. I feel bad because I know he really loves her but it isn't what's best for her and this is essentially just the result of his choices. I am fairly new to where I live so the only friend I have here he knows and they live in my building, but he will definitely be around to help with this if it goes south.
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 12
    WoollySocks Tell him the discussion about the cat is over, and if he wants to hire a lawyer about it? then bring it on, bub. He doesn't really want the cat anyway, he just wants to torment you about it. Gives him a nice little buzz of power by messing with your emotions. You got no peace to keep with this man, so do what you need to do to cut him out of your life and move on.
    via WoollySocks
  • 13
    MaleficentDrink2535 OP This is pretty much what I did as soon as he asked about it and his responses are what made me question if I am actually in the wrong. It feels more like he wants me to hurt because I've kind of just moved on fine and I think he wants me to be miserable without him and this is a way to manage it.
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 14
    picture of a cat cleaning another cat
    via Unsplash / Tracy Anderson

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Go to court with him over them if you have to. We know it's expensive, but we can promise you one thing - when things like this happen, the internet comes together in ways that you never expect. Your expenses will be covered, these cats need to be yours. 

  • 15
    RegularFirefighter75 NTA. Do what's best for the cats. If he can leave you, a person he married over text imagine what he can do to a cat when he decides he does not want it anymore.
    via RegularFirefighter75
  • 16
    MaleficentDrink2535 OP This is a very good point I hadn't even considered. He keeps saying "I left you, not them" but.. he did leave us both.
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 17
    Tough-Combination-37 NTA. Cats are property. Your property.
    via Tough-Combination-37
  • 18
    MaleficentDrink2535 OP Yeah my concern is since they were strays i have no way to actually show i "bought" them other than vet bills.
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 19
    picture of two cats cuddling
    via Unsplash / Guillermo Olivas - guill1967

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    GreekAmericanDom NTA No, you shouldn't separate a bonded pair.
    via GreekAmericanDom
  • 21
    marypfra of course you shouldn't give her to him! Vet records are in your name, and show they were yours prior to marriage, so they are legally yours. Plus you have possession. If in some insane alternate universe he managed to get custody, it would be a shame if they got out and were "lost" But that's so unlikely - he's just being a
    via marypfra
  • 22
    Woodpog NTA OP. It's you who has taken care of them a lot, and it's not okay of him to abandon the cats and suddenly demand that he take them. You should get to keep both cats.
    via Woodpog

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cat marriage abandoned text wife reddit story cute cats husband divorce Cats
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