Entitled mom refuses to take no for an answer when busy engineer with a baking hobby refuses to make a cake for her daughter's birthday: 'I decided it wasn't worth the hassle'

Advertisement
  • 01

    AITAH for refusing to make a birthday cake for my daughter's friend?

    Two little girls at a birthday party, one watches as the other blows out candles on a cake
  • 02
    1 (33f) work a stressful and demanding job with long hours. Even when I'm done with my work day, I am still technically on- call so I treasure my free time. In
  • 03
    my college days, I used to work at a bakery part time to pay for school and picked up some cake decoration skills from the
  • 04
    confectioner. I quit the job when I graduated but have made some elaborate cakes once in a while in the years since, mainly for my partner or other family and friends. I lean heavily into my
  • 05
    engineering background to make them one of a kind but a major reason they come out so well is because I make them out of love and with the person they're intended for in mind.
  • 06
    A woman making a cake and whisking something in a bowl
  • 07
    A few months ago, it was my daughter's (4f) birthday and we had a birthday party for her where we invited some of her preschool friends and their
  • 08
    parents. My daughter has been obsessed with Rapunzel and for her birthday, she asked me to make her a Rapunzel cake with a
  • 09
    tower. I took a week off of work and made an amazing cake. My daughter was incredibly happy and it was the talk of her friends circle for a while after as well.
  • 10
    Last week, I was picking up my daughter from school when I ran into one of moms (we'll call her Aly) that was at my daughter's party. I had spoken to her briefly
  • 11
    at the party but that was my only interaction with her. She told me her daughter, Kara (4f), loved the cake I made for my daughter and since her birthday is coming in a
  • 12
    few days, she has repeatedly insisted on having a similar cake for her birthday. She asked me if I would be willing to make a cake for Kara as well. I told her it took
  • 13
    me a lot of time and effort to make the cake for my daughter and I am not sure I could accommodate it. She kept
  • 14
    insisting, wouldn't take no for an answer, and I was running late so I told her I'll think about it and let her know. She took down my number before I left.
  • 15
    A unicorn-themed birthday cake
  • 16
    Later that evening, I asked my daughter if Kara is a close friend since I hadn't heard about her more than a handful of times. She said Kara is bossy and she
  • 17
    doesn't like her but she's friends with her best friend. I decided it wasn't worth the hassle and texted Aly to let me know I can't do it because of my schedule.
  • 18
    She replied saying she would really like me to do it and it would make her daughter very happy, and that she was willing to pay me for it as well. I told her I
  • 19
    understand but that it wasn't about the money so much as it was about the time and effort involved, and I'd be happy to recommend some excellent
  • 20
    bakeries in the area that could make a custom cake for her daughter. She said that I had managed to find the time to make it for my daughter and surely I
  • 21
    can find some for Kara as well. I was miffed by now and I told her that isn't for her to decide and that I'm just not interested in doing it or continuing the
  • 22
    conversation. She devolved into cussing me out and told me I was being an AH by not thinking of her daughter's happiness.
  • 23
    A woman glares and gestures angrily
  • 24
    Current Echo3140 NTA. Send her a quote for what you make in a week on top of a standard rate for a cake of the size and complexity she wants. And charge her an inconvenience fee as well since this could impact your job.
  • 25
    Weak_Protection_7942 This, a week off work is a huge sacrifice, and of coarse you are happy to make that for your own child, but a random kid you couldn't pick in a line up... no. Just no. Mum can get her own hands dirty, or pay a person who offers that service.
  • 26
    Infamous-Purple-3131 No, because she might just take OP up on it, and fork over the money. Then OP will be stuck doing something that she doesn't want to do. No means
  • 27
    no. When someone asks a favor of you and you say no, they have no business continuing to badger you. People like this, and I know one, need to be firmly shut down.
  • 28
    lopingwolf Holy buckets NTA To insinuate that you're wrong for "finding the time" for your own daughter, but not a child you've barely met just set me over the edge.
  • 29
    Ok-Aspect-8582 NTA-I'm starting to think that she asked around and found out a cake like the one you made are very expensive and thought maybe trying to get you to do it she could pay you less.
  • 30
    Sounds like she doesn't want to pay the cost to find or work to find a bakery to make that type of cake and she doesn't want to deal with her kids tantrum or meltdown when she doesn't get said cake.
  • 31
    It's ludicrous that she thinks making time to do something for her kid is equivalent to you making time for your own kid.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article