54-year-old California resident refuses to let go of 50/50 inherited North Carolina mansion, forcing his 52-year-old brother to take him to court: ‘My brother just didn't get it, wasn't there to make amends. Now he's in full regret and can't let go’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Sep 30, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Court dates are the latest family activity for these 50-something-year-old siblings. That North Carolina mansion doesn't need a new roof so much as a therapist and an Airbnb listing. The brother three hours out digs up vacation days, plumbs his way through drama, and finds himself starring in a home maintenance saga that would get canceled after one season. The sibling in California clings to nostalgia like it's a shopper loyalty program, firing off sentimental monologues and keeping his packed boxes as evidence that college is forever. Sentimental value transforms home ownership into the emotional equivalent of holding a parade for unresolved childhood chores. 

Every mention of "let's wait" doubles the property tax and births another plumbing disaster. Nothing says family like marathon phone calls about who should pay for the leaking water heater no one uses. Inheritance isn't a love letter, just an elaborate method for generating paperwork and regretting missed opportunities. The legal paperwork pile grows faster than family therapy bills.

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  • AITA if I go to court to sell a house?

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  • I (52M) inherited my parents home (50-50) with my out of state sibling (54M). We live in North Carolina and the house belonged to my grandparents before my parents, so lots of sentimental value.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • AITA if I take my brother to court to make him finally sell the house? Our mother passed several years ago and most recently my dad, about 2 years ago.
    via UnbelieveableBBS

  •  Raccoon squatters and nosy neighbors join the cast, each one with more screen time than the absentee sibling. And at this point, a court order is practically the grownup substitute for rock-paper-scissors. Everyone gets closure. No one gets their security deposit back. The house will move on, the brothers will move on, and the raccoons will probably stay.

  • The home is about 3 hours from where I live. Across the country for my brother who lives in California and won't be moving back.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • So yeah, taking care of this house is all on me, my personal time and vacation days.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
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  • I took care of our dad in his final years, my brother rarely coming home, instead taking long vacations and not really understanding that dad was passing.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • In the end, dad passed quickly and my brother just wasn't getting it that he was d ng.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • Over the final months it was one crisis with a heart attack, stroke and broken, etc.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • Physically and emotionally draining with no other support to help me or my dad. My brother has been MIA since he graduated college.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • Up and left, including all his stuff in the house. My brother just didn't get it, wasn't there, and thought he had more time to make amends.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • Cheezburger Image 10559156224
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  • Now he's in full regret and can't let go. The house has now been empty for 2 years.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • I'm pushing to sell and have been for 18 months. My brother keeps making excuse after excuse to drag out the process.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • The shared money to care for the house is nearly gone and taxes and bills are coming due - all are in my name.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • We are heading into winter and we've started to have issues with plumbing, animals, roof and people snooping on the grounds.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • The house is deeded to both of us so a sale has to be agreed upon.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • I've asked him to buy the house from me and he can't afford it. I keep giving options and he makes excuses and no solutions.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • So, AITA if I take my brother to court to sell the house?
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • ProfessorDistinct835 I don't really understand why taxes and bills are in your name if you co-own the house. You're NTA for taking him to court, I just don't know what the basis for your suit would be. Not a lawyer though.
    via ProfessorDistinct835
  • OP UnbelieveableBBS House is paid off. I took over paying the bills when my dad was sick so they are in my name and using the remaining money he left us. Deed had to be updated after they d d.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • Jet-Rep NTA. I'd consider giving him 25 cents on dollar and have him sign the house over to you. Sounds like he could use the money and he would get it quickly. Then you are 100% in control and will profit once the home is sold
    via Jet-Rep
  • OP UnbelieveableBBS I offered half of the market rate but he thinks we can get more. We can't.
    via UnbelieveableBBS
  • WhatInTheAssPepper NTA. Either you take him to court to sell the house... or you lose the house do not being about to pay the taxes and other costs associated with this. If you lose the house due to non payment, you get nothing so your only option is to force a sale.
    via WhatInThessPepper
  • monkerry This is hard, but be pragmatic. Calculate winter and send brother an invoice of upcoming projects and costs. Tell him you won't be saddled with them alone anymore, and if needed, you'll have to get a property manager until sale. It's not what you want but necessary. Have the assessment done as is and get a quote for sale as well as a depreciation quote. The loner you wait, the worse it gets. and breakdown of inheritance after taxes and expenses. It may not sell right away, so be prepare
    via monkerry
  • BeachinLife1 Maybe tell him once and for all that if he does not agree to a sale, you are going to have to force a sale through the courts. He can do this the easy way and make some money, or it can be done the hard way, and there will be court costs which will come out of both of your halves of the proceeds of the house. Since he does not want to deal with it, it may be as simple as him signing over permission for you to handle the sale of the house. Be sure that when you do sell the house that
    via BeachinLife1
  • awnm1786 Hopefully, you kept careful notes of all the money you've put into the place since you and your brother have owned it. If you go the court route, you should be able to get reimbursed for those expenses out of the sale and then split whatever is left.
    via awnm1786
  • LdiJ46 Unfortunately, that is what you are going to have to do. Also, unfortunately that means that you will get far less money for it than you would get through a normal sale. You can give your brother one last chance to do the sensible thing and give you POA to sell the house on both your behalf's. You can explain to him that if he doesn't agree you will file a partition suit to force the sale of the house and you will both end up with a lot less money but you have no choice. You can explain a
    via LdiJ46
  • Ok_Thought_8721 Under the law in most, all?, states, if you own real estate with another person(s) you can go to court to force a sale.
    via Ok_Thought_8721
  • OhmsWay-71 NTA for doing what you need to do to get the house sold. You have already been more than patient. Tell him that is what you are going to do though. Give it one last time, something kind but firm, something like... "Hey, I know this is hard on you, but I have to sell the house now. Besides all of the upkeep, we are coming up to another financial hit to me that I just can't do again. I don't want to have to go down the path to make you, but at this point, if you don't sign, I won't have
    via OhmsWay-71
  • Samoyedfun NTA. Force the sale.
    via Samoyedfun

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family drama inheritance brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt in laws mother in law sister fiancé grandmother Father
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