'I am not comfortable sharing a room with somebody that one, I hardly know and two, I supervise': School district forces employees to share a hotel room for conference

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 12, 2025 10:00 AM EDT
A pair of coworkers wait with their luggage outside a hotel.

If your company is forcing you to share a room with someone, they don't have your best interests at heart. 

Sharing a room with someone is best done with your close friends and family. You're comfortable around each other, have a sense of each other's personal lives, and there is a huge level of trust. Sure, you might sign up to sleep in a hostel with strangers, but there is safety in numbers. A one-on-one room-sharing situation might leave you vulnerable. This is especially true with coworkers. 

The coworker relationship is a special one. You likely spend a lot of time together, but you don't know everything about each other. You might not even hang out outside of a work context. There are probably aspects of your life that you would rather not share with them. You certainly wouldn't want to share a room with them. Even if you are comfortable with each other, it's a huge liability for the company, not to mention a display of cheapness. But that doesn't stop some employers from taking the risk on behalf of their employees. 

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  • Two people prepare to enter a hotel room with their luggage.
    via Unsplash+ (Ahmet Kurt)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this situation, where a new employee found herself in a situation she was desperate to get out of. She wasn't sure, though, what to do if she couldn't attend this conference, one that was very important to her career. So she took to the internet for opinions, and commenters came in with strong thoughts. 

  • Am I wrong for refusing to share a hotel room at a work conference?

    I 45(f) i'll be leaving in a couple days to take a group of educators to a work conference. I am a newer administrator to this district. I have recently found out that the policy for work conferences are to share rooms.
    via u/simplysassy80
  • I have been to many conferences through a couple other districts I worked for, and I've never been asked to share a room. I made it very clear that I am not comfortable sharing a room with somebody that one, I hardly know and two, I supervise. I understand the hotel is expensive so I found a nice hotel across the street not
    via u/simplysassy80
  • as nice as the four-star hotel, but everybody would have been able to have their own room and it would've only cost us about $600 more. When asked about this the answer from both my bosses this was basically a laugh and no, this is not how we do it... we've always shared rooms. My only choice is to pay for one night of the stay and they offered to pay the other. This is what I'm
    via u/simplysassy80
  • doing because it's very important for my position that I lead this trip, but I have a couple brand new teachers going that hardly even know the people they're rooming with, they've literally only sat in meetings together. They do not work at the same school site.
    via u/simplysassy80
  • I'm still a temporary employee until the end of this school year. I've already pushed back pretty hard on this policy to be met with laughter and dismissal. I'm wondering is this a more regular practice than I realize and AITAH for refusing to share a room and advocating no one else have to share.
    via u/simplysassy80

  • Commenters came in with their thoughts and opinions.

    z-eldapin 4h ago . I work in HR and I wonder if your HR knows this. Sharing a hotel room is SUCH a bad idea and exposes the employer to potential risk and liability.
    via u/z-eldapin
  • simplysassy80 OP • 4h ago The head of HR was one of the ones that laughed and told me we always have done it this way.
    via u/simplysassy80
  • z-eldapin 4h ago Then the head of HR is an idiot.
    via u/z-eldapin
  • katygirlwonder • 4h ago I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to share a room with an employee I supervise or a stranger either. NTA
    via u/katygirlwonder
  • leadbelly1939 • 4h ago Schools have really tight budgets but like you i would have paid for my own room. If they don't take into account coworkers sleeping together they should be taking into account medical conditions like somebody that uses a cpap or has insomnia. It seems crazy to have a coworker know if you snore or in your sleep!
    via u/leadbelly1939
  • Dipping_My_Toes • 4h ago - NTA When my company brings folks in for training, even the lowest paid hourly people get their own rooms. Forcing people to share living and sleeping space is totally disrespectful, unacceptable, and downright stupid. It says ,"You are nothing but cattle, and we will treat you like sh because we can."
    via u/Dipping_My_Toes
  • TwoOk8386 • 3h ago If there is one industry whom doesn't give a f about HR standards, expectations and limiting liabilities, it is public education administrators. Those same administrators will probably expense a
    via u/TwoOk8386
  • $500 night of dinner and drinks at the same conference and not think twice. Find a better district to work for, these are amateurs.
    via u/TwoOk8386
  • • Big_It 4h ago Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Refuse and say you're concerned for your safety as well as your privacy. Demand your own room or you won't be going for the above reason. Have a lawyer ready
    via u/Big_It
  • notpostingmyreal... 4h ago Check askamanager.org, I'm positive I read a column or two about exactly this issue. I don't remember what Alison said, but it might be helpful.
    via u/notpostingmyrealname
  • Interesting Wing_... 3h ago Interesting_wing_... . Where I worked, HR actually stood up for employees. Managers were not allowed to expect employees to share a hotel room.
    via u/Interesting_Wing_461
  • chicagoliz 4h ago • I've occasionally heard things like this but I find it hard to really imagine it. Especially when you're at a work conference, you really need down-time to just relax. You want to be able to have the lights and tv on as late as you want. (Or turn them all off very early). Eat in your room. Have a phone. conversation with your spouse or kids or friend.
    via u/chicagoliz
  • If this is their established practice and not enough people feel they're able to push back on it, then it's unlikely you'll get them to change. It's probably worth it to just pay the extra.
    via u/chicagoliz
  • Greedy_Nature_... 51m ago NTA. Also, how is it that they are willing to spend for the nicer hotel if they are so budget-constrained?
    via u/Greedy_Nature_3085
  • MrsMorley 4h ago NTA • Sharing rooms isn't ok.
    via u/MrsMorley
  • worthy_usable • 3h ago This isn't the norm at all. I've done a lot of travel and I have only been asked to do this once. Both I and the person I was travelling with politely declined their effort to be cheap. They relented.
    via u/worthy_usable
  • Side note: The person I was travelling with was not only a co-worker but my best friend at the time. Still a no- go. People need their space and their peace.
    via u/worthy_usable
  • LadyDerri 44m ago • My husband was sent on a business trip with three coworkers, one woman and two men. When they got to the hotel they found out that there was one room with two queens beds for all four of them. Thinking it was a
    via u/LadyDerri
  • mistake they called the boss and was informed there was no mistake. Hotels are expensive, They are adults, he said, deal with it. My husband took the phone and said he needed to get them three more rooms by the time they got back down to the front desk or they were heading right back to the airport. Boss did some yelling but finally agreed.
    via u/LadyDerri
  • • Ready_Set_Go_123 · 3h ago I worked for the airline industry for a little while and they treated their gate agents like this. We had to share. I had to "buyout" the second side of the room if I didn't want to share with another person. I find it weird that we force adults to share rooms with strangers as a cost savings measure. NTA
    via u/Ready_Set_Go_123
  • GalianoGirl • 2h ago From my experience in industries with predominantly female employees, there is an expectation that women will share a room. Back in the 1980's I was expected to share a 2 bed room with three other women. Yup, we were expected to share a
    via u/GalianoGirl
  • bed. The men all got their own bed. I was considered ridiculous when I said I was not sharing a bed. NTA. The practice of sharing rooms is antiquated and simply not ok.
    via u/GalianoGirl
  • batkinson35 • 2h ago Nta, I had to push back as well when my job was trying to send me on a 9+ hour drive to a conference with a male supervisor I had never met completely alone in an area with no signal. Seems to me that some supervisors are either creeps or need a hard fast lesson on s qual harassment complaints.
    via u/batkinson35
  • Fatt... 1h ago • Edited 1h ago • I was a teacher at a Title 1 school and every year the leadership team went to a conference and we always had to share rooms. Not just share a room. We had one queen bed to share with a coworker. It was awkward af.
    via u/FatterThanIThinkIAm
  • Two coworkers wait with their luggage outside a hotel.
    via Unsplash+ (Ahmet Kurt)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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