5th grade math teacher refuses to plan homeschool reading curriculum for her 5-year-old nephew despite her sister-in-law's insistence: 'My sister-in-law is saying it’s my duty as a family member to help educate her son'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 24, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

It's her job to teach her students. It's not her job to teach her nephew and appease her entitled sister-in-law.

Tons of parents think that any teacher can teach any grade or subject. While some teachers have transitioned from teaching middle school to high school to elementary school across various subjects, many remain in the same couple of grades, teaching one or two subjects for most of their teaching careers. Unless you've actually been a teacher in a classroom setting, you don't know how vastly different a 1st-grade classroom and a 3rd-grade classroom really are, even though the kids are only two years apart from each other. Also, math and reading require incredibly different pedagogies. If a teacher is only trained in teaching older elementary schoolers' math, they aren't going to be successful in teaching a five -or six-year-old how to read. 

A jack of all trades is a master of none, and most kids benefit from having different teachers who are experts in their main subject, instead of master-of-none teachers who aren't particularly skilled in any one subject, or a math teacher who is teaching reading because there are too many math teachers and not enough reading teachers.

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  • A young boy reading a book on a couch
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The mom in this story doesn't have any expertise in any school subject, but her sister-in-law is a math teacher. This mom is desperate to homeschool her son because she's dissatisfied with the education he's received in public school, and she believes her sister-in-law is key to developing a curriculum for his homeschool reading education. 

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to plan my nephews homeschool program?

    My (33f) entitled sister in law (25f) came to me last night demanding that I plan and give her everything to home school her. oldest (5m) for grade 1 next fall. I am a teacher with a masters degree in education but I don't do grade 1, I've never taught it and honestly don't have the expertise to do a good job of getting a child started with
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  • reading. I teach grade 4/5 and am a math specialist. I don't have the training to teach early reading and phonics. Because I'm not qualified for grade 1 and would not be able to teach it at school as I lack early childhood or early primary courses I turned down the request.
    via u/Short_Concentrate365
  • Young woman in eyeglasses working as a teacher at school and teaching the school children
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My MIL and SIL think I'm being the AH because I refused to put together a grade 1 program, print it and deliver it to my SIL once a week for her to follow. Doing so would be 6-8 hours of my time a week to prepare the materials and plan for the activities for one child on top of planning for the 30 children in my grade 4/5 class.
    via u/Short_Concentrate365
  • My husband tried to find a middle ground that I could help his sister find the resources and order them but wouldn't be responsible for day to day. planning and organizing. That wasn't good enough for SIL who wants everything in a binder for the week with lesson plans, directions and all materials printed and prepared.
    via u/Short_Concentrate365
  • Close up of a binder
    via Kelly Sikkema

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • SIL is saying it's my duty as a family member to help educate her son and by refusing I'm denying him an education. The child currently has a spot at the public school I teach in but she disagrees with a lot of school policies and the child has special needs that need specific instructional methods I'm not trained in.
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  • AITAH for refusing to help homeschool my nephew when I don't have the training to do a good job?
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  • Secret_Dance_7870 NTA. If she wants an appropriate curriculum plan by a certified teacher, there are these things called schools. They are public and free. There are many private schools available. WTH is she home schooling? Clearly she isn't into it, but just expects someone else to come up with the lesson plans, etc. anyway.
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  • gastropodia42 My SIL did home schooling for a year one place she lived. I saw a ranking of all school districts in the US. It was the worst. That is the exception, most home schooler I've known did it to keep kids from learning anything outside their religion.
    via u/Short_Concentrate365
  • Short_Concentrate365 OP This is to avoid having to get up and out the door in the morning. She also hasn't been happy with how kindergarten went and the school can't stand her, she's terrorized one of my colleagues and close friends. SIL doesn't like being told that her child isn't perfect and the teachers are wrong.
    via u/Short_Concentrate365
  • ShinyAppleScoop Sounds like more the reason kid SHOULD be in a regular school. That's six hours away from his ... unrealistic... mother. Being homeschooled and never allowed to fail/be corrected is a recipe for entitlement.
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  • Current-Anybody9331 And failure. I've been in HR roles for over 2 decades and I've seen the children that were never told no, were never allowed to fail, etc. I have had calls from more than mothers on behalf of their adult children. (It is always mothers and almost exclusively sons they're calling about). I have an aunt like OP's SIL and she called his CO when her son was in boot camp. I imagine his time there was super easy thereafter./s
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  • William Tindale8 I would just say no to doing anything that she is asking for. Tell your hubbie to bud out. Stand your ground and avoid the in laws as much as possible. Even if you did what she asks, you know she would be criticizing every last thing you give her. Just opt out totally.
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  • peakpenguins Emphatically NTA, the level of entitlement is off the charts. Would be like asking your chef sister to cook 3 meals a day for your kid. lol
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  • bayleebugs OP isn't even qualified to do what they want, it's more like asking your cake decorator sister to cook 3 full meals a day
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  • gastropodia42 ΝΤΑ There are lots of homeschool aids available to buy. Has she heard of the internet?
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  • Material_Cellist4133 No offense but tell your husband to grow a backbone. You shouldn't even be providing resources. What kind of crap is your husband trying to rope you into under the guise of a compromise? Why compromise? What do you even owe them? NTA.
    via u/Short_Concentrate365
  • Short_Concentrate365 OP My husband is the peacemaker in a very toxic dynamic with his family. His mom is a classic narcissist and he's been her scapegoat for years so he tries to compromise before his mom lashes out.
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  • KindlyCelebration223 I can guess what issues she has with the public school and I bet she has uttered more than once "these people want everything for free!" as they demand free labor from you. ΝΤΑ
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  • Short_Concentrate365 OP "My taxes pay your salary". She's never had a job and has zero income other than Canada Child Benefits. I'm pretty sure my taxes pay for her to live in her parents basement with two kids. But I'm "a lazy entitled teacher who never wants to work and only complains and can't be bothered to help people who really need their help if there's no money involved."
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  • LongjumpingSource735 Tell her you can help her out, but it will cost whatever a masters gets for private tutoring. Say, $75 per hour.
    via u/Short_Concentrate365
  • Short_Concentrate365 OP I do some freelance program writing and development for math education I get minimum $80 per hour. I told them that and was called selfish. They don't have $600 a week for me to plan and prep for them, they could buy the paper and printer ink.
    via u/Short_Concentrate365
  • Short_Concentrate365 OP UPDATE After explaining exactly the work load that I was asked to do my husband has sent an email saying absolutely not to me helping. Written communication is best in this situation so we can point it out when it's brought up again.
    via u/Short_Concentrate365

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family drama reading read literacy teacher parenting sister in law aunt homeschooling homeschool in laws family math nephew Parenting Fail entitled people
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