34-year-old employee asks his 31-year-old coworker to stop calling herself his "work wife" after his real wife becomes uncomfortable with their relationship: 'She got offended and said I was “making it weird”'

When workplace banter crossed into uncomfortable territory, professional boundaries quickly became blurred between these two "work spouses"

Professionalism is, at its core, about not crossing boundaries.

It's ok to develop personal relationships and joke around, but as with anything in the workplace, you need to treat it lightly and tiptoe into new territory. Moving too quickly risks upending the balance of the entire workplace dynamic.

Let's face it, you'll often see advice online and meet people in the workplace who have adapted to corporate life by having their private life completely severed from their personal life. They won't answer any personal questions about themselves, and they'll seldom engage with their coworkers. Fair enough. It's perfectly possible to operate in that way, but also, where's the fun in living like that?

Having friends at the office and running gags between you and having connections to other people outside of your immediate family make the worst and most boring parts of your life somewhat tolerable.

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    Two coworkers share smiles while they look at work on a computer
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • But, still, these relationships become challenging as they become more personal, and the boundaries between work life and personal life become harder to distinguish. And, yeah, whether as friends or more than that, someone wants more out of the relationship while the other one is pumping the brakes, then you can wind up in some serious dilemmas in the workplace.

    This 34-year-old employee had a good relationship with his 32-year-old coworker, who frequently joked that they were “work spouses." While it was lighthearted banter at first, the coworker's social media posts about their “work relationship” went a step too far and upset the employee's actual wife. He asked her to drop the label, but she took offense to this, which caused further fallout as the rest of the workplace took sides.

  • 02

    "AITJ for asking my coworker to stop referring to herself as my “work wife”?"

    I (34M) have a coworker, "Lila" (31F), who constantly jokes that we're "work spouses." It started as harmless banter, but lately it's making things weird. She'll say things like, "My husband at home and my husband at work, I'm so lucky!" or "You're basically my office soulmate." She even told a new hire that "I'm married at work."
    via AdventurousDate2201
  • 03
    Here's the issue: I am actually married and my wife saw one of Lila's posts tagging me in a "work husband appreciation" meme. My wife laughed it off at first, but now she's uncomfortable. I told Lila, politely, that I appreciate the friendship but would prefer if she stopped with the "work wife" stuff. She got offended and said I was "making it weird" and that "everyone jokes like that."
    via AdventurousDate2201
  • 04
    Now she's distant at work, and another coworker said I "humiliated her" by rejecting her joke "like it was romantic." AITJ for asking her to stop?
    via AdventurousDate2201
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  • 05
    Coworkers share a tense moment with one seated and one standing
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    CouchKisser NTA dude, u did the right thing. Long as u were polite about it, I don't see the issue. Work relationships should stay professional, and these 'work wife' vibes can stir up useless drama. More folks need to get it that not everyone's comfortable playin' house in the office. Stick to ur guns mate, no need for the guilt trip.
    via AdventurousDate2201
  • 07
    WillingnessKnown9693 NTJ. She's full of shit. I work at a fortune 500 company and I've never heard anyone use such a term. I would fire someone using the term. It is disrespectful to spouses and leads to all sorts of rumors and gossip. It is unprofessional on her part and frankly stupid. She is creating a hostile work environment and frankly could be viewed as sexual harassment.
    via AdventurousDate2201
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  • 08
    GirlStiletto NTJ "Lia, you are the one making it wierd. I asked you to stop calling me your work usband and you are NOT my work wife. Why can't you respect my simple request and stop with the creepiness?" Or better yet, put it in an email and BCC your boss so there is a record that you asked her to stop.
    via AdventurousDate2201
  • 09
    Unhappy_Start7079 NTJ. You set a clear boundary politely and respectfully. Lila's jokes were crossing a line, especially since you're married and your wife noticed. Wanting workplace banter to stay professional isn't "humiliating", it's reasonable. You did nothing wrong.
    via AdventurousDate2201

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