friend anonymously pays for dog owner's vet bill, then considers revealing the truth about the donation after someone else takes credit for it: 'This really bothers me'

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    Dog at the vet
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    WIBTA if I told my friend that I was the anonymous person who paid his vet bills?

    A few years ago my friend George had a lot of debt and couldn't afford for his dog to have surgery.
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    He finally was going to do it and pay for it on credit cards. The morning of the surgery I called the animal hospital and paid for everything and told them to please keep it anonymous.
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    I had offered my friend before and he was too proud to accept. A few weeks later I saw him and he brought it up and asked if it was me.
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    My boyfriend at the time, now ex boyfriend John, immediately jumped in with a "Yes, we paid it." John made a big showing of it and definitely insinuated that he had made the decision to pay and paid most if not all of the cost (in reality he had paid zero and also was pretty against how I spent my own money).
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    I didn't say anything at the time as it would have been awkward and I already felt uncomfortable since I was planning to be anonymous forever.
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    It's years later now. I still see George and John through our mutual friends once in a while.
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    George will still bring up to John how grateful he is for him covering the medical bills that time and John is always saying something like "it's my pleasure." This really bothers me.
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    I know I was planning to be anonymous so it shouldn't bother me, but I feel like John is taking credit for something he had not earned.
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    So much time has passed that I think I might be an asshole to bring it all up again the next time this happens.
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    I feel very small inside for even caring. WIBTA?
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    ameinias NTA - I think you should tell - not just to take credit, not even to take credit, but because who knows how John is holding this over George, or cashing in on his "generous" reputation to manipulate other people. If he's slimely enough to do this, he's probably slimey enough to pull a "you owe me, bro" at any oppurtunity. Even if he's not doing this, George might really be putting himself out to make it up to this snake. I would want to know if a friend of mines this much. ked
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    OP Negative-Remote-4711 That's a great point. John was incredibly manipulative and financial at ive during our relationship.
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    ReadMeDrMemory YWNBTA. There's nothing wrong with setting the record straight in a case like this. But don't do it unless you have rock-solid documentation that you're the one who paid, and please realize that George may not respond the way you hope. If it were me, I'd bring it up privately with George when John's not around.
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    Unhappy Woman Holding Bill
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    OP Negative-Remote-4711 I have the paid invoice receipt and also my credit card statement
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    ScaryButterscotch474 NTA Say something. You should have said something at the time. le "Hey John I paid for that and wanted it kept anonymous. I don't appreciate what you just did there." Bear in mind that your friend may not believe you since you left it for so long. Have a receipt handy on your phone.
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    FiddleStyxxxx Assuming that you shared expenses to some extent, John did sacrifice some disposable income when you paid this bill. Even if it was in a savings account this is probably money that you had to budget to replace and he was somewhat affected by that. NTA but I'd let this go. He was minimally affected by this and you made the actual decision but it feels petty to try and discredit John when George sees him as such a good friend. I'd tell the truth if asked, but I wouldn't go out of my
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    OP Negative-Remote-4711 We only shared expenses in that I paid about 90% of everything. I paid 100% of his mortgage (even though he owned the house). For groceries I paid almost every week. I also paid for the car 100%.
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    International-Fee255 NTA Next time, just ask John how much exact he contributed...let George know that you paid for all of it but wanted to remain anonymous but it's time John stopped taking credit for something he didn't do and let John know that you are happy to get the receipt to prove it and he needs to stop claiming he did this as he made it clear to you that he didn't want you to contribute at all. Tell George it's water under the bridge, he should pay it forward if thr opportunity ever co
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    Tremble_Like_Flower This needs to get to him thought a third party. Someone else that brings up "it is amazing that X did that all those year ago." and he will correct the record on the spot to which that person can say "oh, she did not want you to know it was Her at the time I am sure she is over her secrecy about it now." He will seek you out or at the very least know and this will be done.
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    Nenoshka I think you should get a trusted friend to tell George the truth.
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    TheDr**kScientist I'm torn on this one. Part of me wants you to set the record straight here. Yet, the other part says to leave it alone. YOU know the truth. But, man how good would it feel to put John in his place.

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