‘I'm cancelling the vacation’: Dad refuses to take his wife's ex's kids on family vacation to Disneyland, wife insists they join, even though they are not her kids

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 16, 2025 3:00 PM EST

In theory, family vacations sound like the best thing for a family to do together. You can travel, go to theme parks, buy crazy things, and connect with your family in the span of a few days. So what are you waiting for? Leave all your troubles behind and book your Jet2 holiday today! We have it from a good authority that nothing beats a Jet2 holiday…

Except, maybe first make sure that the only people joining you are actually your family members, and not some random kids that have nothing to do with you, which is what happened to the dad in the story below.

He planned a trip to Disneyland with his wife and kids, until his wife came to him with a strange demand: to include her ex's kids, whom she has nothing to do with biologically. She feels like they should also experience this family vacation, even though they are not really part of this family.

This out-of-the-blue request caused Dad to have second thoughts about the entire trip, because it is starting to feel like a babysitting gig and not the fun family time he was expecting…

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  • 01
    Sad kids with Disney Castle in the backgroung
    via BassittART

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA For not wanting to take my wife's ex's kids on a family vacation

    Apologies in advance for the mess that this all is. My wife (43F) and I (45M) have been married for 8 years and have 2 kids (8 & 6).
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 03
    My wife also has a 10- year-old daughter with her ex. My wife and her ex were never married, but her ex also has 2 kids (12 & 13) that my wife was basically a stepmom to.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 04
    We live in a smallish town (9-10 thousand population) so all the kids go to the same school district and see each other regularly.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 05
    My wife obviously is still in contact with her ex regarding their daughter and we routinely get all the kids together, including ex's, for birthdays and stuff like that.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 06
    My wife and I have been wanting to take a family vacation for a couple years now but have waited until our youngest is a bit older.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 07
    This would be our first family vacation. We decided to start planning something for spring break 2026 since all the kids have time off from school and our youngest will be 7 by then.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 08
    We decided to take the kids to Disneyland (the California one). We booked everything a little over a month ago.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 09
    Of course, my wife talked with her ex about taking their daughter. So, the plan was my wife and I taking our 2 kids and my wife's daughter.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 10
    Sometime between now and then, ex's kids and my wife's daughter got into an argument while daughter was at ex's house and my wife's daughter used the "Yeah, well I'm going to Disneyland and you're not" line.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 11
    That opened up a whole can of worms and now ex's 2 older kids are jealous and making life difficult for daughter every time she spends time at ex's house.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 12
    My wife and her ex have been talking about this and somehow they came up with the idea that ex's 2 older kids could come with us on our trip in order to smooth things over.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 13
    My wife told me about it the idea a couple of days ago. Here's her rundown: Ex would pay for all expenses for the older kids.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 14
    Disney Castle
    via Gary Cooper

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    Flights, extra hotel room, tickets to the park, spending money, etc. But he wouldn't be coming with.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 16
    So, instead of our first family vacation, we are supposed to bring 2 additional kids that neither of us are biologically related to.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 17
    shot I immediately that idea down. It's not that I have anything against ex's kids, they're fine.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 18
    But this idea changes the trip completely and, for me at least, turns it from a family vacation to a borderline nightmare I want nothing to do with.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 19
    My wife got upset with me because I "didn't hear her out." But to me, there's no amount of planning or attention to details that is going to make adding 2 additional kids to this trip worth it.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 20
    I know my wife is still close to ex's kids, she basically raised them while they were together.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 21
    Wife and ex haven't told the older kids about the idea yet (thank God) but she's still trying to convince me that this is a good idea and everything will work out.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 22
    I don't want to, but I'm thinking of just cancelling the whole thing unless she agrees to keep our original family plan.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 23
    But I know if I do that then I will be the bad guy to everyone involved.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 24
    Major_Friendship4900 Info- why do you say "my wife's daughter" instead of "my stepdaughter"?
    via Major_Friendship4900
  • 25
    OP familytripnoexthrow I didn't mean it in any way other than to try and differentiate between the tangled web that this all is. My apologies if that method didn't accomplish what I intended, but it was in no way meant as anything other than to try and keep relationships clear with so much going on.
    via familytripnoexthrow
  • 26
    Exotic-Rooster4427 Personally i would be telling the daughter if she rubs her good fortune into other people's faces and then get upset that they are mean to her that the consequences of her actions is what she is experiencing. In addition if she is going to be a mean child she will loose the right to go on the holiday and will stay with her dad.
    via Exotic-Rooster4427
  • 27
    Ordinary-Audience363 NTA. Her ex should go on his own vacation with his kids. Otherwise, you are babysitters.
    via Ordinary-Audience363
  • 28
    LindaBelcher75 NTA. Adding two more kids is a TON more work, no matter if the ex pays for everything. If the ex can pay for that, why can't he take his kids on his own??
    via LindaBelcher75
  • 29
    shorthumanfemale Ex is more than welcome to take his own kids to Disneyland on his own dime and time. NTA
    via shorthumanfemale
  • 30
    General-Toe-8686 NTA. The addition of 2 older kids would change the dynamics of the trip (the types of things they want to do will likely be different than what your younger kids want to do).
    via General-Toe-8686

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Tags

family drama aita disney kids mother siblings stepchild parenting family sister women family vacation disneyland parents children Father vacation
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