19-year-old refuses to forgive mom after she secretly spends inheritance from her grandparents: 'It's not just about the money. She's lied for years'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 13, 2025 9:00 PM EST

One of the most important parts of being a parent is taking responsibility for setting your kids up to have the best and most secure future that they possibly can. A part of this is making sure that they are stable financially. This does not necessarily mean giving them money all the time, but it does entail modelling good financial sense and keeping things they are owed, like inheritance, safe while they are not old enough to claim it.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of parents in this world who act like the worst enemies of their children when it comes to anything related to money. They let greed or desperation get the better of them and spend any cash that should be put aside for their kids. It is no surprise that this can breed feelings of resentment and betrayal when a child realizes what has happened. It can ruin a cordial relationship.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • closeup of a young woman closing her eyes and frowning
    via Daniel Martinez (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • One young woman found herself struggling with a dilemma after she realized her mom had lied to her and her brother about the spending of their inheritance from their grandparents. After they passed several years ago, her mom claimed that certain bills would need to be paid before they could have access to their money.

    However, the daughter eventually found out that her grandparents had left them a lot more money than her mom had told them, and it was admitted that much of it had been spent on family and taking trips. She felt betrayed and like she couldn't forgive her, but the rest of her family wanted her to get over it.

  • My mom took the money my grandparents left for me, and I can’t forgive her.

    I (19F) recently found out something that completely broke my trust in my mom (42F). When my grandparents passed away a few years ago, they left some money for me and my older brother.
    via kissedByDreamss
  • My mom was in charge of handling everything, and she told us there were "a lot of bills and debts" to pay first.
    via kissedByDreamss
  • We believed her because we were grieving and didn't think she'd lie. Fast- forward to now, I accidentally found papers showing how much my grandparents actually left.
    via kissedByDreamss
  • a young woman sat on the floor running her fingers through her hair
    via Daniel Martinez (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It was way more than what she told us. I confronted her, and she eventually admitted she used most of it on herself.
    via kissedByDreamss
  • She said it was to "help the family," like paying off stuff and taking trips "to cope with grief." I honestly felt sick.
    via kissedByDreamss
  • It's not just about the money, it's that she lied for years. My brother forgave her, saying she did it for us and we should move on.
    via kissedByDreamss
  • But I can't. Every time I see her, I just feel angry and betrayed. I've barely spoken to her since finding out, and now everyone says I'm overreacting.
    via kissedByDreamss
  • So... am I overreacting for not being able to forgive my mom for taking my inheritance?
    via kissedByDreamss
  • A person looking at bills and receipts laid on a desk
    via Ahmet Kurt (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • People assured her that her reaction was reasonable.

    StrawberryShorty3 Nah, def not overreacting, mate. Trust gets shattered in a sec, but takes a freaking lifetime to repair. She lied to your face for years, that ain't right. Yeah sure, fam's important but respect & honesty should be there too. IMO, take your time and sort out your feelings, don't let anyone guilt you into anything.
    via StrawberryShorty3
  • OP kissedByDreamss yeah, i also feel bad for feeling this way towards my mom tbh but it definitely takes time to gain back my trust i guess
    via kissedByDreamss
  • Beautiful_Sweet_8686 NOR Take a copy of those papers to a lawyer, see if you can do a free consultation and see what your options are. There's no way in hell I could ever forgive my parent for stealing money from me like that. She didn't just steal your money she continually lied about it. She also didn't steal your money to pay the mortgage so you didn't lose your home for example she used it for vacation and who the hell knows what else, a new car for herself, designer clothing? You don't have
    via Beautiful_Sweet_8686
  • lucybubble NOR, thats not a mother. Thats a selfish woman, she put her own needs instead of yours and whats even more heart-breaking is that the money is yours because your grandparents gave it to you and your brother.
    via lucybubble
  • NOR Vegetable-Cod-2340 When money was placed in her front of her, your mom, showed you EXACTLY who she is. Remember that, given the opportunity to do the right thing, and she chose to lie and spend the money on herself, think back Op, did she even take you guys out for a nice dinner with 'your money'? Your brother choose to forgive, but you don't have to, and it okay that you don't, because you have to live with this decision. I would recommend that if it has you doubting her completely that you
    via Vegetable-Cod-2340
  • wishingforarainyday Talk to an attorney about this. She stole from you.
    via wishingforarainyday
  • 1952a She stole from you when you were a minor. You do have recourse. Talk to a lawyer.
    via 1952a
  • NOR Ahrjun She lied about the amount. She did not come clean and was caught. She is not showing any remorse for what she did. I am not forgiving her. You both even were onboard with using the money to pay off debt and bills. Yet, that wasn't enough for her. That money was not meant for her to take trips to "cope with grief", your grandparents left that for you and your brother, if they wanted her to have it, they would have just left it all to her. The money is gone and the lesson you need to ta
    via Ahrjun
  • Otherwise_Mix_3305 You are not overreacting. I'm sorry. You could probably sue your mom for the money.
    via Otherwise_Mix_3305
  • jr2142 Small claims court. If the $ was left with intention or instructions what she did was theft.
    via jr2142

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

inheritance forgiveness parenting aio family grandparents reddit thread daughter Reddit mom money
Scroll Down For The Next Article