'He's not a photographer': Richmond wedding photographer confronts boyfriend for falsely claiming they’re photography “partners” in public, taking credit for her magazine-featured work, calls her ungrateful when asked to stop calling her projects “ours”

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 16, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Not one person I know would absolutely jump with joy at the idea of someone taking credit for their hard work. Whether it be in their relationships or in their careers…But this case just so happens to be in both. Mixing work and love is a big risk, but what if you are persistently trying to keep the two separate…but your partner seems to have a different idea? 

Well, that is where this couple comes in. This woman, a wedding photographer, is beyond proud of her success. She's built a career on her own, gained recognition in magazine features work, and gotten to do a job she loved every day…Yet, she can't help but notice that every time she and her partner are in a group of friends, he talks about her job as if they are business partners. Addressing that he should be equally praised for "their" photography success. Constantly taking credit for all of her major projects. It's almost like he does not realize that carrying around a reflector is not the same thing as taking a photograph, and does not instantly grant one the title of 'creative director', a title both us and his girlfriend are baffled to hear leave his lips… 

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  • After she notices his credit-taking occurring at many social occasions, she confronts him about it. Equally confused as she is angry. However, he argues that her bringing this up only validates that she is ‘ungrateful’ for his support, as he attempts to turn their friends and his own mother against her for taking sole credit for her own work! Support? Because it seems as though he only likes the spotlight when it's shining down on him!

  • Woman taking a photograph outside during Autumn
    via Stephen Leonardi

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for asking my boyfriend to stop showing people "our" photography when it's all my work?

    I (27F) am a wedding photographer in Richmond. My boyfriend (29M) works in sales and has zero interest in photography himself.
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • I've spent years building my portfolio and recently had some of my work featured in a major wedding magazine. I was incredibly proud - this is huge for my career.
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • My boyfriend was excited too. But then we went to a dinner party last weekend and things got weird. Someone asked what I do, and before I could answer, my boyfriend jumped
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • in with "We're wedding photographers" and started showing my Instagram on his phone. He kept saying "we shot this wedding" and "we did this couple's engagement photos."
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • I tried to laugh it off and clarify "I'm the photographer, he just comes along sometimes to help carry equipment." But he doubled down and said "I help with the creative direction" which... he
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • doesn't. He literally just holds a reflector when I ask. This has happened three times now at different social events. He introduces us as a photography team. Shows people my work like it's a joint portfolio. Acts like he's creatively involved when he's not.
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • Man holding camera as he walks through snow
    via Oziel Gómez

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I finally told him in private that it makes me uncomfortable when he says "we" because it's my work, my business, my career. He helps occasionally but he's not a photographer.
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • He got really upset. Said I was being ungrateful because he "supports" me and comes to weddings when I need help. That couples should present a united front and I'm making him look bad by correcting him in front of people.
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • But I didn't build this career for someone else to take partial credit. I went to school for this. I invested in equipment. I work 60-hour weeks during wedding season.
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • His friends are now saying I'm being "individualistic" and not treating the relationship like a partnership. His mom texted me saying I should be happy he's proud of my work instead of "nitpicking."
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • But it's not about pride - it's about taking credit for something he didn't do. AITA for asking him to stop saying "we" when he's not actually a photographer?
    via Royal_Trouble_8713
  • Turbulent Muffin_143 NTA. He's not "supporting your career" - he's co-opting your accomplishments for social clout.
    via Turbulent_Muffin_143
  • Glittering4950 Nta Hire an assistant
    via Glittering4950
  • Tangled UpPuppeteer I'm being ungrateful because he "supports" me and comes to weddings when I need help. Nope. He is a drain on your accomplishments and trying to take credit for things he didn't have shit to do with. He's supporting himself out the door.
    via TangledUpPuppeteer
  • Fun-Yellow-6576 NTA. He's taking credit for your work ffs! You've asked him to stop, he hasn't. He's even complained to his Mom! This would be the end of the relationship for me.
    via Fun-Yellow-6576
  • Couple arguing inside
    via rdne

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • rez2metrogirl NTA. The next time he claims creative direction, grill him on it. Who was the bride? What was her theme/inspiration/aesthetic? Who contracted my services?
    via rez2metrogirl
  • couples should present a united front and I'm making him look bad by correcting him in front of people. You present a united front when you're grounding your kid. You present a united front when you're declining an invitation to go across state lines for a toddler's birthday party. This is not the same thing.
    via TangledUpPuppeteer
  • TiredandConfusedSigh My ex started telling people 'we' had bought a house when I had bought a house all on my own because he was very definite he didn't want any part in it. Stopped pretty fast when I corrected him in front of all his friends at the bar one night.
    via TiredandConfusedSigh
  • Tall-Payment-8015 NTA This man is jealous of you and is stealing credit for your accomplishments. That is not support. The feedback from his friends and his mother is craaazzzzyyyy. I mean...
    via Tall-Payment-8015
  • DesignMysterious3598 From what you say it would already be exaggerated if he added stuff like "I'm helping with artistic direction" and stuff but at least let you tell people about your job yourself.
    via DesignMysterious3598
  • But he cuts you and tells everyone without letting you speak. He's not just taking undue credits he's stealing the light off you to take it for himself when he deserves none. You're underreacting if you let him do it 3 times before telling him to stop. He's not supporting you, he's jealous IMO.
    via DesignMysterious3598
  • loricomments Stop asking him to help you or allowing him to help you, at all. If he can't stay in his place then you don't need his "help". And call him out publicly, every time. "No, he's not part of the "team", there is no team, it's just me." Next thing you know he'll be wanting part of your fees.
    via loricomments

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taking credit false-information public help out friends attention relationship-drama creative-direction relationships couples career equiptment photographer dating advice
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