Mom of a 6-year-old with 1 on the way begs her husband not to invite her mother-in-law on their vacation after mother-in-law moved into their 2 bedroom home with her 4 dogs: 'I really just wanted a trip away from her before this baby comes'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 21, 2025 8:00 AM EST

There are circumstances in which intergenerational homes are both necessary and beneficial. If a young couple or an elderly person does not have enough income to support themselves in their own place, living with family can be either a temporary or a permanent solution, depending on the arrangement between the family and the person paying the mortgage. While a young person might not be able to afford rent, they are probably more nimble than their aging parents, able to fix things around the house and help out with cooking or chores. An older family member living with their adult children's growing families can help out by taking care of the kids while their parents are at work. Even the pleasure of an older family member's company might be worth the inconveniences of another mouth to feed.

While some households happily house multiple generations, that's not the case for all. Some couples simply don't have the space to house their partner's extended family for an extended period of time, and that doesn't mean that they don't love them. Living with someone, especially rent-free, is a huge ask.

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  • Smiling man and woman near outdoor during daytime
    via Felipe Salgado

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The mom in this story has been tasked with this big ask. She and her husband (but mostly her husband) have allowed her mother-in-law to walk all over them, moving into a house that should fit a family of four, but not three adults, six dogs, a child, and a baby on the way. Now, her mother-in-law wants to go on the last vacation they'll have before their baby comes.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my husband I don’t want his mom to come in our vacation with us?

    You can be honest, I'm okay with being an AH because my husband thinks I am. But ya see let me give ya some background. Last year my MIL was having financial struggles and was going to be let go from her job. Her two
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • daughters didn't offer to help but my husband being the kind man he is and with my okay told her she could always move out to the west coast where we live. So she agreed and she brought her 4 dogs and a bunch of her stuff and crammed it into our tiny 2 bedroom house. So in this tiny
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • Cheezburger Image 10578323456
    via Ross Sneddon

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • house there is 3 adults, 6 dogs, a 6 year old and we're expecting a baby in the fall. As of a few months ago, my SIL wants to move out here and we explained that they should find their own place. We've looked at selling but the markets in no place for that but if it was just my husband and
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • I and our kiddo, we would make it work and when baby is old enough they could share a room until we can sell this house. We were planning to go on one last vacation before baby comes and I made it clear I wanted it to be just the 3 of us. My husband said
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • it would be rude to not invite her and so he invited her. I was hoping because of her dogs she wouldn't go. But now she's making us talk to our neighbor who we are friendly with about watching her dogs and she will pay. I was mad and pregnancy hormones make it hard to hide my frustration. My husband told
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • me I'm acting like a brat because if it was my mom I'd do the same thing but I told him I wouldn't because my mom would understand. His mom, she wouldn't understand. She believes he can do no wrong and she believes she's entitled. I mean this is the same person who got angry we went on a trip we planned before she moved here
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • and didn't invite her. We can't even have discussions with her because she instantly gets defensive. I really just wanted a trip away from her with my little family before this baby comes and I'm apparently the bad guy and being selfish. He told me I can be the bad guy and tell her that I don't want her to go but I already told him before he invited
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • her and it's not my mom. I'm not the one with boundary issues. So AITAH for Telling him to tell her we don't want her to come?
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • CF_FI_Fly ΝΤΑ It's time for some marital counseling. He needs to get his mom out of the house and prioritize you and your kids. Otherwise, you don't really have much of a marriage.
    via u/CF_FI_Fly
  • tinyhumanteacher14 OP We've actually been trying but she's in between jobs and I know he's just trying to be helpful but I feel like she's overstepping boundaries and he's allowing it.
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • ThatsltlmOverThis She's not in between jobs. Her son is now supporting her full time. She's never moving out.
    via u/ThatsltlmOverThis
  • Bloodrayna This! Marriage counseling is a good idea because hubby doesn't realize he's torching his marriage. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Bloodrayna
  • stinstin555 All while enabling his Mom who may likely NEVER get a job. I mean... Why would she be motivated to work again? She knows she can manipulate her son and she scores free housing for Gm herself AND her animals. OP: NTA. But let's be VERY honest, you DO NOT have a MIL problem you have a HUSBAND problem.
    via u/stinstin555
  • You need marital counseling ASAP because his behavior is not normal and his lack of enforcing boundaries is leading to the demise of your union. But your husband also needs to get individual counseling to find out exactly WHY your husband prioritizes his Mom over his wife and children.
    via u/stinstin555
  • Environmental_Art591 I'm guessing there is a reason her own daughters wouldn't help her out. They know the crap she pulls and had enough of a spine to say no. OPs husband needs to take lessons from his sisters.
    via u/Environmental_Art591
  • Disastrous-Wildcat Strange how your husband "being kind" means "being kind" to everyone but his wife and the mother of his child.
    via u/Disastrous-Wildcat
  • tinyhumanteacher14 OP In this moment, and when it comes to his mom, I get conflicting feelings from him. Sometimes he's done with her and fed up and sometimes if I bitch about something she does like slamming the fucking bathroom door at 5 in the morning, he will tell me to stop complaining because I'm stressing him out. I'm conflicted so lately I've just been quiet about my frustrations with her.
    via u/tinyhumanteacher14
  • murphy2345678 If he doesn't do something about it he is just playing you. He is telling you he is upset but he really isn't if he doesn't take action.
    via u/murphy2345678
  • Mmm_lemon_cakes Oh, you're stressing him out? He needs to be stressed out because he needs to get his ass in gear and deal with his mother. He needs to ask her every day how many jobs she's applied to. And every day that number is less than ten, she gets a mark against her. 30 marks, 30 days, she's out.
    via u/Mmm_lemon_cakes
  • Nadihaha NTA how it is a vacation when you're taking the source of the stress with you.
    via u/Nadihaha
  • R4eth You have a major husband problem, but half the problem is, instead of putting your foot down and nipping it in the bud by giving him a clear "NO MOM ON VACATION", you just let him decide. And now you're mad at the results. You're right, it's not your job to manage mil's feelings and lack of boundaries. That's your husband's problem. But, he's shown you over and over, he's completely incapable of doing so. You should give couple's counseling a try, and get mil out of the house. Esh.
    via u/R4eth
  • hypotheticalkazoos ΝΤΑ the real issue is that she is still living with you with her 4 dogs in a 2br.
    via u/hypotheticalkazoos

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